Building Lives
by Emer
Summary: Part three of the 'John Doe' series. The Cliffhangers are joined by a new (Irish) kid accused of a crime he didn't commit. Can he earn their trust?
1. An té nach bhfuil láidir

Hey, folks! I'm back. This is my third Higher Ground story, part of my 'John Doe Series.' It'll probably (but not certainly) be the last story I write involving Danny Merrick (John Doe). It wasn't originally planned to be a trilogy; it just sort of happened that way. Danny - my original character - is in this story, as well as another newbie called Finn, who most of the story is about. However, Danny will have to confront his past too, for reasons I'm not going to tell you yet! I hadn't intended to put this story up for a good while yet, but I decided to get started. I'm going away soon for a few weeks so I don't know when I'll get more up. I just thought I'd show you what I'm working on. Hope you enjoy.  
  
Note: This chapter contains some violence against children. If you don't want to read about it, stop now.  
  
I don't own Higher Ground. I own anyone you don't recognize.  
  
Chapter 1: An té nach bhfuil láidir ní foláir dó bheith glic  
  
Finn's eyes shot open the second he heard the key turn in the front door lock. Uncle Patrick, his dad's brother, had been out drinking again, and was just arriving home, probably pissed out of his brains. Finn could hear his uncle swearing repeatedly as he tried to force the door open. He didn't get out of bed immediately, as there was a good chance Uncle Patrick would just pass out in the hall, and there would be nothing to worry about until the morning. He waited a few minutes, holding his breath, listening carefully as Patrick grunted out every curse in the book before finally barging through the door.  
  
"Finn?" a soft voice called from the other side of the room. Finn raised his head slightly to see Seamus sitting up in bed, looking at him anxiously. At five, Shay was six years younger than Finn, and was innocent enough to still believe his big brother had the answers to everything. Shay hadn't had much experience of Uncle Patrick's rage yet, as Finn had always diverted the attention onto himself to spare his little brother an undeserved hiding. But recently, Patrick had been especially full of energy, and beating Finn to a pulp was becoming too easy for him. Although little Shay wasn't as much of a challenge as his big brother, Patrick needed to get rid of his aggression somehow, and he had not sunk low enough to bully toddler Connor . . . yet.  
  
Finn knew it was his duty to take care of his brothers. They were his responsibility now, since Uncle Patrick was hardly the perfect paternal figure. For the last few months, Finn had felt like an eleven-year-old father. He wasn't exactly thrilled about it, but he had promised his dad Liam that he'd keep the boys safe. And if that meant enduring Uncle Patrick, then so be it.  
  
"L-l-lie d-d-down, Shay," Finn stuttered in a cautious whisper. The speech impediment was a new development, and Finn hated it. Combined with his Irish accent, it was earning him terrible mockery at school. It wasn't his fault; it was Uncle Patrick's. When his parents were alive, it was only in rare and terribly nerve-wracking situations that the connection between his head and his mouth got muddled. Nowadays, he was nervous all the time, and as such, could barely string a sentence without stammering.  
  
"I want Mammy and Daddy," Shay whispered, growing tearful. He didn't like living with Uncle Patrick. He was mean and smelled funny. He couldn't cook as well as Mammy or Daddy. He said cruel things about Mammy and Daddy and used bad words. He hit Finn all the time, sometimes with his belt. Finn couldn't speak properly anymore. Connor was crying all the time. It was horrible. They had only lived in America with Uncle Patrick for a few months, but it felt much longer. Shay wasn't sure how much more he could take.  
  
"I know, p-p-pal," Finn said, biting his lower lip in frustration. "But p-p-please go back to s-s-sleep. C-c-cover your head." Finn watched his brother obediently lie down and pull his blanket over his head. He then listened out as his uncle made his way up the stairs slowly. Uncle Patrick wasn't necessarily that big or strong, no more so than Finn's dad had been. However, Finn still only had the build of a little boy, even if he had the mind of an old man, and this gave Patrick an unfair advantage. Some nights, however, Finn's wits and maturity were enough to spare him a more serious thrashing, reminding him of one of his dad's old sayings: An té nach bhfuil láidir ní foláir dó bheith glic - If you're not strong, you'd better be smart. Well, since his dad had died, that little phrase was more or less Finn's survival philosophy.  
  
"Oi, Finn!" Uncle Patrick yelled from the hall, his speech slurred. "Get your arse out here." Finn hesitated for a minute as Shay poked his head up again. Finn glared at him and he lay down.  
  
"Finn!" Patrick shouted again. "Don't make me come in there!" Finn kicked off his thin blanket, wincing as he moved his sore legs. He smiled reassuringly at Shay, and glanced at Connor's cot to make sure he was still asleep. The little boy, who looked more like his mother than either of his brothers, was out for the count. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out into the hall. Uncle Patrick wasn't as drunk as he sometimes was, which was disappointing. It meant that Finn couldn't just dodge punches until Patrick finally got bored or passed out. Patrick was sober enough to give him a serious hiding, and then possibly go after Shay or Conn. Finn wasn't going to let that happen.  
  
"P-p-p-Patrick, p-p-please," Finn stammered unhappily. He could tell by the look on Uncle Patrick's face that talking wasn't going to help. He tore the leather belt off his trousers, and with a quick flick of his wrist sent the end up into Finn's face, missing his right eye by less than an inch. Finn clutched his instantly bloody face and fell to his knees.  
  
"Jesus, don't give up now, you wimp!" Patrick yelled, kicking Finn in the chest, knocking him over completely. Finn struggled for breath, unable to scream to lessen the pain. Uncle Patrick cracked his belt over Finn's arms and legs several times, opening the older cuts and making some new ones.  
  
It'll pass, Finn told himself over and over, tears of fury stinging his bleeding face. It'll pass. It'll pass. It'll pass.  
  
"You're nothing, boyo!" Patrick hissed, grabbing Finn by his shaggy black hair, pulling him to his feet. "Your daddy isn't around to wipe your ass anymore. Neither is that filthy whore of a mother of yours. You're my property now. And you'll show me some frigging respect!"  
  
"D-d-don't talk about m-m-my p-parents . . ." was all Finn could manage before Patrick punched him in the stomach. The beating and insults continued for several more minutes, but Finn lost all sense of time when it came to Uncle Patrick's attacks. They lasted as long as they lasted. But they all eventually passed.  
  
"Don't faint on me, kiddo," Patrick ordered as Finn began to get dizzy. "Stay awake!" He waited a second for Finn to get steady on his feet, and then landed a perfectly positioned, hard as rock kick to Finn's groin. Finn collapsed in agony, curling up in the corner, sobbing quietly and praying to God that this would end soon.  
  
It'll pass. It'll pass. It'll pass. Oh, God, Mam and Dad, please let it pass!  
  
St . . . s-s-st . . ." Finn tried, but he couldn't form the one word he wanted to shout at this bully in front of him. Stop. He forced his eyes open and saw Uncle Patrick towering over him, ready to use the silver belt buckle to strike his nephew. Finn shut his eyes again and prepared himself for the worst, when a shrill scream interrupted the attack.  
  
"Uncle Patrick, no!" Shay shrieked from the bedroom doorway. "Leave him alone, please! Just leave him alone!" Finn opened his eyes again, and saw his baby brother standing there, eyes squeezed shut and hands covering his ears. The poor kid had a fresh line of urine running down the front of his pyjama trousers.  
  
"You filthy little brat!" Patrick spat. "You pissed your trousers!" He moved away from Finn and faced Shay. Finn saw all of this from his cowering state in the corner.  
  
"St-st-st-st . . ." he stumbled over the word, unable to get it out. He tried to get to his feet, watching in horror as Shay's expression changed from fear for his brother to fear for himself.  
  
"You made a big mistake, boyo," Patrick promised, raising his fist slowly and deliberately. He wanted both Maguire brothers to know what was coming, and know that they could do nothing to stop him. Then he heard it.  
  
"STOP!"  
  
It was loud and deep and frightening - almost like the roar of a wild animal. Patrick whirled around to see that Finn had pulled himself to his feet and overcome his stutter to deliver his uncle with a simple - but very real command. The little boy, the punching bag, was gone. All that was left was an angry, vengeful young man who wasn't going to let Patrick lay a finger on his brother.  
  
Before Patrick could even react, Finn clenched his fist and rammed it into Patrick's chin, sending him down like a ton of bricks. Neither child moved for a moment, making sure Patrick wasn't going to get up. Then Finn stepped over his unconscious uncle and pulled his brother into a relieved hug.  
  
"Did I do good, Finn?" Shay asked, pressing his head against Finn's chest. For Shay's sake, Finn ignored the pain and let the kid hug him as tightly as he wanted.  
  
"You did real good, mate," Finn assured him, kissing the top of his head. "Didn't I always tell you that you don't have to be the big guy to win?"  
  
"Did you kill him?" Shay asked worriedly, looking past Finn at their uncle.  
  
"I don't think so, but I did buy us some time." It was only then that the boys realised that two-year-old Connor was awake and screaming. They went back into the bedroom and Finn picked him up, shushing him and rocking him gently until the crying died down a bit.  
  
"What do we do now, Finn?" he heard Shay ask. He put Conn on the floor, and told Shay the plan that he was making up as he went along.  
  
"Shay, I want you to get washed and dressed, and then I want you to pack some stuff into our schoolbags. A change of clothes for the three of us, and the money jar under my mattress. A bit of food too, if you want. Then I want you to sit by the phone with Conn, and if I tell you, I want you to call 911."  
  
"999," the boy corrected quickly, sometimes too clever for his own good.  
  
"Not in America, kiddo. You understand, right?" Finn didn't even notice at the time that he had managed to give all the instructions without stammering once. He began to wonder if the stammer had all been in his mind all along, or if the relief he was feeling was stronger than the nerves. He didn't really know or care. He just knew he had to get his brothers out of that house.  
  
"Right, Finn," Shay said, secretly pleased to be given so much responsibility. He went to do what Finn had asked, and Finn went to deal with Uncle Patrick. He was still passed out faced down in the hall, and Finn used the belt that had inflicted so much pain on him to tie his uncle's hands together behind his back, without bothering to be gentle. He ran back to his room and grabbed the tie that he had worn to his parents' funeral four months earlier, and tied Patrick's feet. When he was certain that Patrick wouldn't be able to move when he woke up, he leaned in close to him.  
  
"Bastard," he whispered softly. He went into the bathroom and peeled off his sweaty, bloody bedclothes. He washed the blood off his face and body as quickly as he could, then changed into clean clothes. He got Shay and Connor into their jackets, and with Conn in his arms and Shay gripping his hand, he headed down the road to the police station.  
  
That was the night Finn Maguire grew up.  
  
He was eleven years old.  
  
Okay, that's the first chapter. So how does Finn end up at Horizon? That'll come later. At my working rate, though, it could be much later. I know it's not much so far, but I thought I'd give you a taste. Hope you like. 


	2. A New Start

Okay, sorry it has been so long. I've been away at Irish college (best three weeks of the year) but now I'm back and ready to continue with this story. I mention fostering quite a bit here, but it's a subject I know nothing about, so bear with me. It's fiction. Also, I hate the term 'flashback', but there are going to be a few of them throughout the story. If it gets confusing, I apologise.

Chapter 2:        A New Start

            Peter Scarbrow and his wife Sophie stood patiently outside the main cabin of Mount Horizon, waiting for their latest student. His foster parents were probably less than five minutes away by now.

            "Peter," Sophie asked for the tenth time that morning. "Are you sure about this?"

            "He's a kid, Soph," Peter said. "Just like all the others. He needs help, so we're going to try and help him."

            "By putting him in with the Cliffhangers? When they find out why he's here, they'll eat him alive."

            "I thought you had more faith in those kids, Sophie," Peter said, knowing full well that Sophie had all the faith in the world in their group. She couldn't have kids of her own, so those troubled teenagers were the closest thing she had to that.

            "It's not that, and you know it," Sophie defended. "I'm just saying that, given some of their pasts, they're hardly going to welcome him."

            "The charges were dropped," Peter explained. "As far as any of us are concerned now, he's innocent."

            "But what if he's not?"

            "Then he's a very messed up kid, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a second chance. Isn't that why we're here? To give kids like him a second chance?"

            "Our kids are victims, not villains," Sophie threw back. She hadn't wanted to say it, but she was very reluctant about accepting this kid. The last time she had had doubts about a student had been when a kid called Tony joined the Cliffhangers. He was an angry, violent kid who attacked two students, Danny Merrick and Scott Barringer, and very nearly killed the latter. He was far away in Juvenile Hall by now, but Sophie couldn't help but feel protective and untrusting on behalf of her kids.

            "I did a bit of research on him," Peter said. "He's as much a victim as any of them. Parents died when he was eleven, so he and his brothers went to live with his uncle. Uncle beat on him a lot, so the kids escaped and have been with this foster family, the Bryces, ever since."

            "Six years is a long time to be with one family, isn't it?"

            "I guess they wanted to keep them around. They love him, Soph," Peter said shrugging. "Who knows? Maybe one day, we will too." Sophie was about to voice further concern when she saw a car approaching. A man in his mid forties got out of the driver seat and came to shake their hands.

            "Mr. Scarbrow, I'm Joe Bryce," the man said in as friendly a voice as he could. He looked tired, though, and guilty. Sophie glanced past him at the two figures sitting in the car, a woman about her husband's age, and a teenaged boy in the back. The woman looked as tired and guilty as her husband, with fresh tears on her face.

            "My wife is very upset about all this," Joe said, noting Sophie's glance. "We both are. He's always been such a good boy. He takes great care of his brothers, and he's our daughter's best friend. Sarah's absolutely devastated. I . . . I don't know why this has happened to him."

            "May we meet him, please?" Peter asked politely, noticing that the man was getting more upset. Bryce nodded, and went back to the car, tapping on the back window. The boy got out and walked over to where his new teachers were waiting for him. Peter took a moment to examine the boy. He looked no older than his seventeen years, fresh faced and very handsome. He was quite pale and thin, but not so much so as Danny Merrick. His shaggy black hair was in need of cutting, falling into his eyes. There was a small but noticeable scar below his right eye, a permanent gift from his uncle. He wore an army jacket that was probably older than he was, but the rest of his clothes were neat and clean. He looked at Peter and Sophie nervously and unhappily.

            "Finn," Peter said friendlily. "I'm Peter Scarbrow and this is my wife Sophie."

            "N-nice to meet you," he lied, cursing himself for stuttering. Peter was surprised less surprised by the stutter than the fact that the boy still had a very strong Irish accent, despite living in America for so long. There was an awkward pause, before Joe Bryce cleared his throat.

            "Um . . . we'd better move if we want to beat the traffic." He moved towards Finn and they shared an uncomfortable, but genuine hug.

            "Everything's going to be okay, Finn," Joe whispered to his eldest foster son. "We'll take care of everything back home. You just focus on getting better."

            "Yes, sir," Finn muttered, too ashamed to look his foster father in the eye. Joe patted Finn on the shoulder twice, before turning back to the car. His wife, Grace, managed a sad wave to Finn before they drove away. Another awkward moment followed.

            "Well," Peter said finally. "I'll show you to your dorm." Finn nodded dismissively. He didn't care about any of this recuperation crap. He didn't want to get settled in. He just wanted to do his time so he could get back to his brothers, and Sarah. This whole thing was going to be hell without her to help him through it, but he would have to endure. Peter brought him up to his dorm, and was giving him some talk about the meaning of Horizon. Finn wasn't even listening. When he realized that Peter had stopped talking, he turned to him and spoke.

            "Can I use the bathroom?" he asked, every bit the polite kid. Peter excused him and Finn headed towards the boy's bathroom. He didn't need to go, he just needed to get away from Peter. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but Finn couldn't care less. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. As usual, the scar Uncle Patrick's belt had given him the night he ran away leapt out at him. It was something he was terribly self-conscious about – along with his stutter – almost to the point of paranoia. When meeting new people, he was certain it was the first thing they noticed about him. Uncle Patrick had made him a freak. The evil bastard.

            Well, dead evil bastard by now. Six months after Finn had taken Shay and Conn away, they received word that Uncle Patrick had fallen down the stairs in a drunken state and broke his neck. The Maguire brothers shed no tears over losing their last living relative. They were now free, without the threat of being sent back to live with him hanging over their heads. Conn and Shay returned to being normal, happy children, forcing all memories of Uncle Patrick out of their minds. Finn, who was older and more damaged, could not forget so easily. Instead, he threw himself into rebuilding his life. He did well in school, managed to overcome his stutter, and made many friends.

            His best friend though was, and always would be, Sarah Bryce. From his first day in her home, she welcomed him. She was his rock from the start, defending him when other kids teased his stutter or accent, or asked how he got his scar. She walked to and from school with him every day, helped him grasp the American educational system, and helped him study. She became his confidante, as he could tell her things he told nobody else. He told her how much he hated and feared Uncle Patrick, and in contrast how much he loved and admired his parents. She saw something in him that he couldn't see in himself, and brought it out of him for the world to see. He wouldn't have made it without her, and he loved her for that.

            But all that was gone now. He didn't know when he would see Sarah again, or if things would ever be the same between them. She told him that she believed he was innocent, and he could tell by her eyes that she had meant it. But it wasn't enough. People would try and poison her mind against him while he was gone, try and convince her that he was no good. As strong and loyal as Sarah was, Finn wasn't sure how long anyone could listen to that without believing it. He scratched his head, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

            Then a sudden madness overtook him. He searched the boys' bathroom until he came across an electric shaver and a pair of scissors. He cut the excess locks of hair from his head, then used the shaver on the rest. In just a few minutes, all that was left of his unkempt mop was a very dark shadow of bristles over his scalp. He ran a hand over it hesitantly, and laughed bitterly.

            "You said I needed a haircut, Sarah," he muttered to himself sadly. He found the new cut appropriate, since this place sounded quite a bit like some sort of boot camp. He rinsed out the sink quickly and went back to the dorm, where Peter was still waiting. The teacher was clearly surprised by Finn's sudden change in hairstyle.

            "Well," Peter sighed, snapping out of it. "Time to introduce you to the group."

That was a little longer than I had planned. More to come as soon as possible.


	3. Don't Belong

Hello folks. The last chapter I loaded ended up messy on the site. No idea how it happened, but hopefully I've fixed it now. This chapter involves mention of rape, so you have been warned. I own Finn, Danny and Beth, as well as anyone you don't recognize.

Plus, I'm skipping the whole introductions bit. Done it before and it all still applies.

Chapter 3:        Don't Belong

            "All right, Finn," Peter encouraged. "You're up."

            Finn snapped out of his trance, looking around at all the faces in the room. Peter and Sophie were looking at him, as were all the other kids. Finn had listened to their introductions and stories with minimal interest, although he had to admit he felt sorry for many of them. Bulimia, abuse, molestation, homelessness, drugs, and alcoholism – these kids had seen it all. Finn could relate this, but he wasn't sure if they'd accept him when they knew why he was there. Whether or not he had really done it.

            "Well," he said, clearing his throat. He was nervous, but managed to contain his stutter. "My name's Finn Maguire, and um . . . I'm here because some people think I did something." He glanced at Peter worriedly, hoping this would be enough information. Peter seemed disappointed, but wasn't going to press the matter. However, one kid – Finn remembered him as David – spoke up.

            "What did you do?" he questioned. The other kids began to sit up in their seats, eager to hear Finn's terrible crime.

            "Um," Finn sighed, scratching his head. "A girl in my old school told the police that I . . . attacked her." He hung his head shamefully, before remembering that he had nothing to be ashamed of.

            "What do you mean 'attacked?'" another guy – Scott – demanded, already starting to get angry. Finn had heard this guy do his whole 'My name is Scott and I'm here because' bit a few minutes earlier. Not only had his stepmother abused him, but the girl sitting next to him, Shelby – who Finn guessed was his girlfriend – had been molested by her stepfather, before escaping into prostitution.

            "She told them I tried to . . . force myself on her." He looked up again, and was met with looks of shock and disgust.

            "It didn't happen!" he cried defensively. "She was lying."

            "Why would she do something like that, huh?" Scott pressed. "Why would she tell the police you were a rapist for no reason?"

            "Attempted rapist, technically," Finn said with a smirk, unable to resist. If these people were so ready to believe someone else's side of it over his, he had every right to be a smart ass. "And I don't know why she did it. I just know that I didn't do anything to her."

            "Peter, if tried to rape someone," Shelby asked. "Why is he here instead of juvie?"

            "The girl dropped the charges," Peter explained, feeling somewhat awkward. This wasn't going as well as he had hoped, but no worse than he had expected.

            "Convenient for you, isn't it?" Ezra scoffed. He wasn't one to pick fights, but this kid – if the story was true – was not to be trusted.

            "To be completely honest," Finn said, starting to lose his temper. "I couldn't care less what any of you think. I know the truth. I'm not here to become a model citizen of this proud land of which I am not a native. I'm not trying to cleanse my soul or any of that other new aged crap. I'm just counting down the days until I walk out, and when I do I'm going home to my kid brothers who need me. And if you can all leave me alone in the meantime, it would be great."

            "Right," Sophie said suddenly, clapping her hands. "I think we've all shared enough for one evening. Lights out in twenty minutes. Everyone head back to your dorms." The kids began to scatter obediently. Peter went over to Finn for a quiet word.

            "Sorry about that," he said to the kid, shrugging. "You'll learn to love them."

            "Yeah, right," Finn muttered. Peter looked away, catching the eye of another kid, Danny, who was talking to his girlfriend Beth in a far corner of the room. Danny excused himself and joined Peter with the new kid.

            "Finn Maguire," Peter told him. "Danny Merrick is going to be your first week buddy."

            "Name kind of speaks for itself, eh?" Finn said dryly, but he shook Danny's outstretched hand nevertheless. The slight, blond kid hadn't slandered him during the meeting – even though his sister Shelby had been molested – and Finn appreciated that. For his part, Danny was relieved that the guy had even shaken his hand. This was his second attempt at the whole buddy thing, as his encounter with Tony hadn't really counted. He just hoped that Finn wouldn't hit him over the head with a frying pan and try to kill his sister's boyfriend.

            "Danny'll show you around, help you get settled in," Peter continued. "Who knows, Finn? You just might like it here." With that, Peter headed to his office with Sophie.

            "We better head back to the dorm," Danny offered. Finn nodded indifferently and stood up. He was following Danny out towards the dorm, when two guys, Scott and Auggie, stepped in his way. Finn could tell by the looks on their faces that they were pissed.

            "Guys, leave it," Danny pleaded, stepping in between them and Finn. "It's late. You don't want to be on shuns for a month, do you?"

            "We ain't gonna touch him, Dan," Auggie said, never taking his eyes off Finn. "We're just going to give him a little warning."

            "And what would that be, mate?" Finn groaned, completely fed up with all this.

            "Charges or no charges," Scott threatened. "We're going to be keeping an eye on you. People like you are the reason most of us are here. Now, Peter and Sophie might believe that you can change, but I sure as hell don't. And you so much as look as my girl in a way I don't like, I swear to God you'll never walk again."

            "I'll second that," Auggie said in an equally menacing tone.

            "Understood," Finn said. Danny looked at Auggie and Scott, and they reluctantly let Finn past. The two newest Cliffhanger boys walked along in silence for a moment, before Finn spoke.

            "Aren't you going to tell me to stay away from your girl?" he asked Danny. The kid turned to him without any expression on his face.

            "I'd think it goes without saying," Danny said shrugging, and he continued to walk back to the dorms. Finn stood for a moment, contemplating just making a run for it, then followed gloomily.

That was kind of crap, I know. The next chapter will probably be a flashback (REALLY hate that phrase!) It'll be up as soon as possible.


	4. When Life Was Good

I own Finn, his brothers, Sarah and her family. And whoever else you don't recognize from the show.

Actually, pretty much everyone in this chapter belongs to me. It's kind of a flashback, but not really because I hate that word. Kind of long too, because I wanted to pretty much get everything of Finn's old life in here. Cliffhangers in the next chapter though, I promise.

Chapter 4:        When Life Was Good

            "Morning."

            There was something about that voice that Finn loved. Even in that one word, the kindness, warmth and loyalty of its speaker came across. Finn had listened to that voice every day for nearly six years, and still couldn't explain or deny the effect it had on him. It was the voice of his foster sister, his best friend, Sarah Bryce. He put his toast down on the plate and turned in his chair to look at her, smiling.

            "Good morning," he returned as she ruffled his hair.

            "You getting it cut today?" she teased. It was an ongoing joke between the two of them. Finn's hair wasn't too long at all – it fell into his eyes and onto his neck, but was more messy than long.

            "You paying?" Finn retorted. Sarah laughed, and sat at the table between Finn and his youngest brother Conn. She greeted this angelic eight-year-old that she saw as a brother with a quick kiss on the cheek, which he promptly wiped away in disgust.

            "You should know, kiddo," Finn pointed out. "Half the guys in our school would kill for Sarah to kiss them." I'm one of them, he didn't add. He had felt this way for a while now, had found himself looking at her longer than he should, thinking about her more than he should, and getting jealous when she went on dates with other guys. He knew that he was closer to her than any of those lads would ever be, but it didn't stop it hurting that he wasn't the one who got to be with her.

            "Oh, you flatter me, Maguire," she said sarcastically, punching Finn's shoulder. "You organize your suit yet?"

            "Suit?" Finn nearly choked on his toast.

            "Yeah," Sarah said, looking at him like he was dumb. "For the dance?"

            "Nobody said I had to wear a suit!"

            "Well, not a tux or anything like that. Just something a little more formal than what you're wearing." She motioned to the torn, creased jeans and old gray Guinness t-shirt he was wearing. "And maybe a haircut." Finn gave her a look, and then turned to Conn, who was busy munching on his over-sugared breakfast cereal.

            "Rule one of surviving women, Connor," he told his brother. "Never, ever let them change you. First they take your fashion sense, then they take your soul." He jabbed a finger into Conn's ribs as he said that last bit, making the kid giggle.

            "True," Sarah said. "Except that you never had any fashion sense, Finn. Eat up or we'll be late. That goes for you too, Conn."

            "Yes, miss," Finn and Conn said in unison, sniggering. A moment later, Seamus Maguire – the middle boy – emerged from upstairs, carrying his schoolbag. Shay was getting to look more and more like his big brother every day, with the same black, unruly hair, pale face and intense green eyes. While the elder boys looked very like their father, and still had the strong Irish accents they had in Dublin, little Connor resembled their mother – sandy hair that had once been blond, blue eyes, and an innocent face. His accent was also different to that of his brothers, now a faint lilt that sounded like one of the better attempts of a Hollywood actor at playing an Irish person.

            "I know, I know," Shay muttered, hurriedly tossing two pieces of bread in the toaster. "I slept in again."

            "Again," Finn echoed, throwing his brother an apple. "Eat this on the way to school. You've no time for the toast."

            "Right," Shay said, grabbing his and Conn's packed lunches off the counter. Conn stood and cleared his plate – as he had been taught – and gave Finn and Sarah a quick hug. Shay did the same, before the two boys headed off for school together. As he cleaned his plate, Finn watched them from the window, proud of how eleven-year-old Shay stuck his arm in front of Conn to make sure he looked left and right to cross the street. It was a little thing certainly, but important to a protective older brother.

            "They're fine," Sarah told him, standing next to him at the window, touching his arm. He smiled at her, amazed that she could always figure out when something was up with him.

            "I know that," he assured her, glancing at the boys as they crossed the street safely. "Just making sure they're okay."

            "You're always making sure they're okay, Finn," she reminded him. "You needn't worry so much. Now come on or we'll be late."

            "Is that a bad thing?" Finn wondered, picking up his bag. Actually, he didn't mind school too much. He was doing very well now.  He was one of the smartest in his class, and was also known throughout the school as a somewhat intense, but genuinely nice guy. This, along with his good looks, made him both popular and desirable. Yet all through his teens, Finn was yet to have a girlfriend, or even a date. It wasn't to do with being shy or awkward, it was simply the fact that he was only interested in one girl, and wasn't confident enough to tell her that.

            When Finn and Sarah arrived at the school, Amanda Walters and Thomas Sebastian greeted them at the gates. Amanda had been Sarah's friend they were nine, while Seb had moved to town not long after Finn and they instantly became pals.

            "Suited up, Maguire?" Seb asked with a grin.

            "Is everyone going to ask me that today?" Finn asked with a groan. Seb didn't answer, he just laughed. That was part of the reason he was Finn's friend, as he was always on hand with a joke and a smile. Nothing ever seemed to faze him.

            "Have you asked anyone to go with you yet?" Seb followed with the standard question. He noticed that his friend had suddenly become uncomfortable.

            "Um . . . I'm actually going to go with Sarah," Finn admitted, quickly adding his defense. "Well, we're not exactly going together. We're just . . . going there together. Both single and loving it, you know? Saves bringing someone neither of us is interested in." He tried to laugh dismissively, but Seb couldn't be fooled.

            "You're pathetic," Seb sighed, nudging Finn. He knew full well how Finn felt about Sarah. He had tried encouraging Finn to ask her out properly, but the poor guy was too damn awkward, and wouldn't settle for asking out any other girl that may have shown an interest in him. Finn was remaining faithful to a girl who had no clue how much he wanted her, and if he kept this up, he was never going to lose his virginity. In Seb's eyes, that was a tragedy.

            The girls watched Seb and Finn punch each other good-naturedly. Sarah smiled as her foster brother waved back at her before heading off to his locker.

            "So you're going to the dance with Finn?" Amanda asked bluntly. "What's up with that?"

            "It saved us asking anyone else," Sarah said simply. "I mean, I'd much rather go with a friend than with someone I wouldn't say two words to for the whole night. What about you? Did you nab Dean?" Dean Wolfe was another member of their clique, and was definitely the womaniser of the gang. He also happened to be the current object of Amanda's affections. She had been lusting after him for nearly a year now, a personal record for how long she could obsess over one guy. There had been a couple of boyfriends in the meantime, but nobody she had really liked. Sarah had to feel sorry for her.

            "No," Amanda said sadly. "He's taking Rachel Quentin, that bitch. But it's his loss." Sarah gave her friend some comforting words about there being plenty more fish in the sea, while on the other side of the school, Amanda's obsession had Finn in a headlock.

            "Give," Finn muttered, without putting up much of a fight.

            "Jesus, you're a wuss, Maguire!" Dean laughed, slapping him on the back. "Listen, I need help with my woodshop project. Please, be a pal?" Finn rolled his eyes.

            "You should have that finished by now, Dean," he sighed in mock frustration. "It's due the day after tomorrow."

            "You sound like my mother," the other boy retorted. "Come on, you're a carpenter. It won't take you long." True, Finn was a carpenter, or at least a carpenter in training, and quite a good one at that. He had taken a part-time job at Mr. Ebert's workshop when he was thirteen, and had helped to build some of the finest, one-of-a-kind furniture the old man ever sold. Carpentry was what he wanted to do with his life – it was his gift, was what Mr. Ebert said.

            "I'll see," was Finn's way of reluctantly agreeing. Dean thumped him on the back in appreciation.

            "Thanks, man," he said. "I'll make it up to you. Maybe loan you some clothes for the dance." He grinned mockingly at his Irish friend. "Do you even own a shirt and tie?"

            "Not all of us grew up at the country club, Dean," Seb stepped in, defending Finn. "Besides, he doesn't have to wear a tie." He grinned at Finn, but unlike Dean, there was no underlying mockery in his smile. Finn smiled back, thinking – not for the first time – that he was pretty lucky with his life right now. He had friends, he had his brothers, he had Joe and Grace – the next best thing to his absent parents. He did well in school, and had already decided what he wanted to be. He shuddered to think what his life would have been like if he hadn't left Uncle Patrick's. His brothers wouldn't be the nice, happy kids they were now, and Finn would still be the reject he was in his old school – the weird, foreign kid with a stutter and a scar. He wasn't that kid anymore, not overall anyway. And even if the girl he wanted saw him as a brother, the kind of love he felt for Sarah mostly made him happy, not miserable. Considering that eleven-year-old Finn Maguire had cried himself to sleep at night, seventeen-year-old Finn Maguire had a pretty great life.

So where does it all go wrong? You'll find out soon enough. Next chapter up as soon as is humanly possible. The first month of school has been more stressful than anything I've ever experienced. Very sorry, both about lack of updates and crapness of this chapter. Like I said, trying to show you Finn before Horizon. More soon. Thanks for your patience.


	5. Hostile Territory

Back in Horizon time now. I'll specify before every chapter whether or not it's a (wince) flashback. I own Finn, Danny, Beth and anyone who wasn't in the show.

Chapter 5:        Hostile Territory

            "Up and at 'em, newbie!" Scott shouted, kicking the end of the new kid's bed. Finn didn't need waking, as he hadn't slept all night. He sat up and scratched his head, forgetting his new 'do' until his fingers hit the thin bristles. He kept his head down as he pulled on his jeans, not wanting to attract any attention to himself. He was already an outcast, he might as well be an anonymous one.

            "Hey, newbie," the kid Finn remembered as Ezra shouted from his bed on the other side of the room. "Don't think we're letting you off the initiation process just because you saved us the trouble of shaving your head."

            "That's right, pal," Auggie smirked. He and Ezra had teased all Cliffhanger newbies, and both of them had taken a particular dislike to this Irish kid. Torturing him would be a pleasure. "We'll find another way to get at you." He nodded slightly at the backboard of Finn's bed, which now had a few photographs stuck to it. One was of a young family, two good-looking parents and their three little sons, one of them a newborn baby. Another was of these same three boys, older now, wading in the sea, the smallest one on the shoulders of the eldest. It was the third photo that really caught the attentions of the Cliffhanger boys, in particular the single ones. A beautiful girl about their own age, with brown eyes and light brown hair, smiled shyly but radiantly at the camera.

            "Nice shots, man," David said slyly, joining in the fun. "I just might borrow that one later." Finn slowly stood up, knowing without having to look that this piece of shit was referring to his picture of Sarah.

            "Touch my stuff, mate," Finn warned, his voice low and menacing. "And I'll cripple you." Somehow, that managed to shut the creep up. David knew in a weird way that the kid was deadly serious, and judging by the look of him, he could probably do some damage. And the other Cliffhanger boys weren't likely to jump to David's defense, seeing as how most of them had attacked him before. He'd leave this heckle for another day. Danny Merrick left the bathroom at that moment, and David turned his mockery to the other kid.

            "Oh, Danny boy . . ." he began to sing, very badly. "Finn, help me out here. What's the next line?"

            "Póg mo thóin, amadán," Finn muttered, really not bothered with this clown anymore.

            "What?" David demanded. "What does that mean!?"

            "I have no idea it that means, man," Danny said. "But I'm pretty sure I agree with you." Finn didn't smile or answer, but he was grateful to this guy, who was the only one who had been remotely nice to him. The boys finished dressing and went to breakfast.

            "Food's not that bad," Danny assured the new kid as they walked into the lodge, heading for the food queue.

            "I'm not that hungry, anyways," Finn told him. When they had their food, Danny took his usual seat between his sister Shelby and his girlfriend Beth. Finn's eyes moved quickly around the table, and he noticed there were no spare seats. He doubted he would have been welcome anyway. He found an empty table in the corner and sat alone, munching on the rubbery eggs. Danny had lied – the food was crap.

            "Do you think he did it?" Jules asked the group, motioning to Finn. "Doesn't really look the type, does he?" She and the girls had discussed him the night before, and though none of them would admit it in front of their boyfriends, he was cute, in a dark, mysterious kind of way. But not the same way that former Cliffhanger, Juvie resident Tony had been. He hadn't been dark and mysterious – he was evil and dangerous. But he was good-looking enough to catch Shelby on the rebound, nearly ruining her life. Finn didn't look evil, just unhappy.

            "Even the most innocent face can hide the most horrific secrets," Daisy pointed out.

            "Yeah," Ezra agreed. "Dahmer, Bundy, all looked like nice guys. See all the damage they caused."

            "I don't care what he looks like," Scott said, assuming his leader role. "We can't trust him."

            "Not the best attitude to have, Scott," a voice said behind them. They all turned and saw Peter standing behind Scott.

            "All I'm saying, Peter," Scott said. "Is that guys like him can't be trusted."

            "What of he's innocent, Scott?" Danny asked. Peter patted Danny's shoulder, proud that at least one of the kids was acting with the open-mindedness he expected of them.

            "And what if he's not?" Scott threw back, angry, but not at Danny. "What if he's just waiting for the chance to do it again?"

            "Scott," Peter said patiently. "You can never know what goes on in another person's mind. Also, only two people know for certain what happened that night – Finn and the girl. One of them is lying."

            "Him," Scott insisted.

            "You should know better than anyone," Peter said. "That the guy isn't always the villain in these cases." Peter waited for a comeback that never arrived. It was true, Scott knew that guys could be victims in cases like this – he himself had been one once. His stepmother had twisted every detail of their relationship to make him look bad. Peter watched as the boy hung his head in what may have been shame.

            "Finish up here and get started on your chores," Peter sighed. He left the Cliffhangers and headed over to their 'reject'. Finn glanced up at him briefly, before looking back down at his barely touched food.

            "It's not the best, I don't mind telling you," he muttered. "My uncle could cook better than this." He winced inwardly, hardly believing that he had let that slip. As he feared, Peter pulled up a seat and sat opposite him, like an interrogating cop in a TV show.

            "Your uncle?" Peter said. "Patrick Maguire. Your dad's brother, Dublin born, living in America for the last six years of his life, and had custody of you and your brothers after your parents died."

            "You've done your homework," Finn scoffed. "Is that all it says about my dear uncle in my little report?"

            "No," Peter continued. "It also said that he was an alcoholic, and that he was responsible for that . . ." He motioned to the scar at the side of Finn's eye. "And no doubt several other scars that he hid better. It said that one night, during an argument, you knocked him out . . ."

            "Sorry, repeat that last bit, please," Finn said, looking up and sitting forward. "An argument?  Arguments are verbal debates, Mr. Scarbrow. One party states their position on a matter, while another party makes a counter statement on their own point, disagreeing with the original. This exchange of opinions continues until one party wins or they reach a mutual understanding. Now, what my beloved Uncle Patrick did was get pissed and beat the shite out of me. The only points he ever 'argued' was that I was the no-good eldest son of what he called his asshole brother and his asshole brother's whore of a wife, and that he was ultimately doing the world a favour by thrashing the life out of me night after night for months. The only response he ever looked for from me was a couple of screams." Finn stopped for breath, slowly sitting back in his seat. "You were saying?"

            "I was saying," Peter continued, keeping an unfazed expression. "That you knocked him out after he threatened your brother Seamus. You tied him up, packed your things and took your brothers to the local police station. They took a statement, photographs of your injuries, and placed you in foster care. I have copies of the statement and the photographs." Peter looked sympathetically at the youth. "Not pretty."

            "Not healed either," Finn said, accepting the man's sympathy. _I'm telling him too much_, Finn thought to himself. _I should shut up now, or he'll start assuming that he knows me. What the hell am I doing!?_

            "It was a brave thing you did," Peter told him sincerely. "Fighting back like that."

            "Not really," Finn muttered. "All it took was one shot to knock him out. He'd had a skinful of whiskey before coming home. Besides, I couldn't let him hurt my brothers." _I promised Dad_, he didn't say. _I promised I'd protect them. I should be doing that right now. I should be taking care of them and Sarah, so why the hell am I up here being accused of rape!?_

            "Also," Finn said, shutting down again. "Anyone who attacks a defenseless girl couldn't possibly be anything other than a coward and a villain, am I right?"

            "Maybe," Peter said. "But you said yourself last night that you didn't do it."

            "Last time I checked, nobody believed that. Not even your wife." He nodded to the Cliffhangers, who were whispering amongst themselves, undoubtedly about him. "And they haven't been the most welcoming bunch."

            "Do you want them to welcome you?" Peter asked, turning the comment around so that it came back to a question for Finn. _Jesus, that is just so typical of a shrink_, Finn thought in disgust. _I'm going to have to terminate our little conversation._

            "Mr. Scarbrow," he said in a tone that told Peter that he was through talking. "What I want is to go home to the people I love. Nothing else matters to me. I hear we do some chores here." Finn abruptly changed the subject, promising himself that if Peter didn't take the hint, he would get up and walk away. Thankfully, Peter was not a stupid man, and saw that the boy was through talking.

            "We have you assigned to wood-chopping for your first week," Peter said. "It's a not tough to get the hang of, especially for a carpenter." Peter was hoping for another opening by discussing something that – according to Joe Bryce – Finn was passionate about. Finn, however, wasn't interested.

            "Sounds good," the kid muttered. "Shall I get started?" Peter gave him directions to the woodshed, and Finn got up and left. He didn't speak to the Cliffhangers as he left, even though they all looked at him. Peter sighed again, revising the conversation with Finn in his head. The kid was smart, there was no doubt about that. He spouted off his 'argument' theory without even taking a breath. He was also someone who obviously cared very much about his family, and was frustrated that he couldn't be with them.

            At the same time, he wasn't doing himself any favours by annoying the Cliffhangers and rejecting counsel. Try as he might to prevent it, Peter knew that there was more than likely going to be a confrontation between Finn and the other kids. The thought scared Peter, but if Finn wouldn't try and prove himself to be the good person his foster family and brothers believed him to be, then there was very little that could be done for him. And that was assuming he was innocent. If he was guilty, it was going to be a million times worse.

            "What am I going to do?" Peter wondered to himself quietly.

More soon, I promise. What do you think? Is it getting somewhere?


	6. Wood Revisited

I own everyone you don't know.

Chapter 6:        Wood Revisited

            Finn had worked his way through half the wood at the shed before his arms even began to feel the strain. He worked without thinking about what he was doing. It was just a way of working through his frustration. He used to do it when he lived with Uncle Patrick. After a beating, he was do sit-ups and push-ups in his room until he was so exhausted that he felt nothing anymore, not even the fresh pain. It wasn't working now, though. Now he felt everything – anger, hurt, sadness, love, loss. It was all too real to him, and no amount of sweat and strenuous exercise would take it away.

            _I can die trying_, Finn thought to himself, sending the axe through another piece of wood like a knife through butter.

            "Save some for me, man," a voice called behind him. He turned briefly to see Danny Merrick jogging down towards him.

            "I'm almost finished," Finn muttered. "You don't have to help."

            "If Peter finds out I've been slacking, he'll make me climb a tree or something," Danny said, picking up the spare axe. "Besides, I'm your first-week buddy. May as well get to know you."

            "That won't make you very popular with the others," Finn pointed out. Danny just shrugged, chopping his first log.

            "They're my family," he admitted. "Hopefully, they'll care about me no matter who I'm friends with. Who knows? It might be the same for you in a couple of weeks."

            "Whatever," Finn muttered. "Like I said, I'm just doing my time."

            "It might go a bit faster . . ."

            "What d-d-don't you get!?" Finn demanded, stuttering with anger. "I'm not interested. F-f-forget it." Danny noticed the stammer, but didn't comment on it. Judging by how fast Finn had finished his snap, it was something he was embarrassed about. The Irish kid began to take some deep breaths, gathering his composure, before getting back to chopping. They continued in awkward silence for several more minutes, before Beth came down to the shed. Danny left his work and walked over to her, stopping himself from kissing her when he saw her expression.

            "What is it?" he asked, touching her arm gently. In the few weeks they had been going out together, he had got to know her pretty well, but he was having a hard time reading her now. She looked stunned, and a mixture of excited and frightened.

            "Beth, what's wrong?" Danny asked again. She was freaking him out a little now. She looked at him, snapping out of the kind of trance she was in.

            "Um . . . my parents just called," she said softly, as though she needed to say it to believe it. Danny couldn't blame her for being shocked. She hadn't talked to her parents in a long time, not since they fell out over her baby brother's death. Beth had been taking care of baby Ryan the night he died, and Beth's parents – her father especially – had never forgiven her. Following a chain of bad behavior, they sent Beth to live with her uncle Oliver, but soon not even he could control her anymore. As a last option, Oliver got Beth's parents' permission to send her to Horizon. It had turned out to be the best thing that anyone could have done for her. She was improving steadily, and much of that was to do with Danny. He had befriended her unconditionally, and their relationship had progressed from there. He was exactly the kind of rock that Beth needed in her life.

            "What did they want?" Danny asked, giving her his full attention, as always.

            "They're coming for a visit," she muttered. She was worried, Danny knew. She had every reason to be.

            "When?"

            "A couple of days. They want to see how I'm getting on, and they want 'to talk'. I guess after nearly a year they've thought of something to talk about." She looked up at him fearfully. "I'm really scared, Danny."

            "I know," Danny said softly, putting his arms around her. "But you don't have to be. They wouldn't be coming all the way here after all this time just to pick a fight with you. It's probably something positive."

            "You think everything is positive," Beth pointed out, but smiled nonetheless. Danny was very different to every other guy she had gone out with. He was less of a 'stud' for want of a better word. She had been quite popular in her old school, and could admit that she dated superficially. A shy, slight kid like Danny Merrick would never have caught her eye.

            Which was one of the reasons she was very lucky to be in Horizon. Danny had proven time and time again to be someone who genuinely cared about her. He never judged her, not even when she told him what had happened to Ryan. He saw it as the horrible accident it was, not some evil crime that Beth had committed. This unwavering support from the first person she had opened up to since Ryan's death gave her the confidence to speak out in group, and to bond and share with the other kids. But nobody in Horizon, possibly anywhere, knew her like Danny Merrick did.

            "True," Danny shrugged. "But you know I'm right. And either way, I'll be here to help you." Knowing that he meant it, Beth smiled again and they kissed tenderly.

            Finishing off the last piece of wood, Finn couldn't help but feel a stab of envy as he glanced at the happy couple. It wasn't that he had a crush on Beth or anything like that, even though she was a nice girl. He was jealous of their happiness, or more specifically of Danny's happiness. The guy had either fallen for or was falling for a girl who clearly felt the same way. Finn envied the here-and-now of their relationship, and the fact that they weren't miles away from each other for reasons that weren't their fault, missing each other terribly and wondering if things would ever be the same between them. Finn brushed the tiny beads of sweat off his bristled hair, and sat down against the woodshed, ignoring the aches and pains of the exhausting work and letting his thoughts drift back to Sarah Bryce.

Hope you're all liking it. There'll be more as soon as I can. I'm off school for the next week, so I should hopefully get another chapter or two up.


	7. To Love A Freak

Okay, this is the first of a two-part flashback. The rest is in the next chapter, as it was way too long to put into one. I own all the characters in this chapter, as none of them were in Higher Ground.

Chapter 7:        To Love A Freak

            "Okay, you can open your eyes," Finn muttered anxiously. Anna Bryce – Sarah's grandmother – pulled her hands away from her eyes to take a look at the young man she would have been proud to call her grandson. Finn was standing at the end of Anna's bed, wearing a second-hand black jacket, a gray shirt and a pair of reasonably new black jeans. His jet-black hair was, for once, combed to perfection, and although probably dressed in plainer clothes than some of his classmates would be, Finn looked great. Or at least he would have if he hadn't looked so uncomfortable.

            "Very nice," Anna said sincerely. "Is the jacket a little tight on your shoulders?" She knew full well that the jacket fit fine. Finn was hunching, a sure sign that he was not as confident in his appearance as Anna was. Normally, Finn didn't care what he looked like, but this was different.

            "I knew it," Finn sighed, stuffing his hands in the jacket pockets. "I look like an idiot."

            "You certainly do not!" Anna protested. "You look wonderful."

            "Anna, this isn't me. I f-f-feel like a f-fraud." He sat down on the edge of the bed, resisting the urge to run a hand through his hair, as he always did when he was nervous. Closer to her now, he could smell the medication. Anna had moved in a month earlier when her health had begun to deteriorate. Finn didn't know exactly what was wrong with her, besides age, only that she was prone to horrible coughing fits and was tired all the time. But never too tired to spend time with her granddaughter and foster grandsons, praising their accomplishments and listening to their worries. Tonight – the night of the dance that terrified the eldest Maguire boy so much – was Finn's turn for counsel.

            "You may feel like one, but you're not," Anna insisted. "You look better in those clothes than the wealthy boys in your school will look in their designer labels.  And I'm sure Sarah will think the same." Anna couldn't contain a smile as she said that last bit. She knew how Finn felt about her granddaughter, although he had never said so. For six years, Anna had watched him provide Sarah with more devotion and care than so many people experience in their entire lives. He had shared her joys, and helped carry the weight of her fears and sorrows. And yet this selfless boy had asked for nothing in return, least of all for his feelings to be returned.

            But Anna, a natural born romantic, believed that one day, maybe soon, Sarah was going to look at Finn Maguire in a whole new light, and that it would open them up to something new and wonderful. Finn, however, had been too wounded to believe in fate, and was certain that his feelings for Sarah were never, ever, going to be returned.

            "I doubt it," he muttered, bowing his head. He knew that Anna had figured out some time ago that he was in love with her granddaughter. He had worried that she would freak out, tell Joe and Grace that he was a sick little pervert who was after their little girl and he'd get sent away. He should have known better, and Anna never even mentioned Finn's predicament. Until now, that is.

            "You know, Finn," Anna began tentatively. At seventeen, it was time for Finn to hear this. He had grown up more quickly than Sarah, which probably meant that he had been capable of such intense feelings some years before her. Now that Sarah was a mature young woman, it was possible for things to change, and Anna was certain that they would, for the better. "She may surprise you. If you just told her how you feel about her."

            "She doesn't love me, Anna," Finn said softly. "Not like that. How could she?" Finn knew enough about himself to know that Sarah could never possibly love him as much as he loved her. He was damaged, physically and emotionally. Uncle Patrick had made sure of that, with taunts and beatings that had left permanent marks all over his once-innocent little nephew. Finn's scars made him paranoid, and he was careful that nobody ever saw them, not even Connor and Shay, who shared a bedroom with their brother. But nothing he could do would hide the one below his eye, and he was certain that this made him look like the freak he was. He knew that Sarah cared deeply for him, as a friend or perhaps a brother, but someone as amazing and beautiful as her could never love a freak.

            "I'm sure she thinks the same about you," Anna pointed out. "That you think of her as just a friend. But we both know that's not true. You're both growing up, Finn. If you don't tell her soon, you could lose her for good."

            "If you're wrong, I'll lose her anyway," Finn refuted. "If she only wants to be friends, I'll ruin everything. I can't let that happen. If it's a choice between being her friend and being nothing, I choose friendship."

            "I know, sweetie," Anna said softly. "But Sarah loves you, whether or not she's in love with you. Even if she doesn't feel the same about you as you do about her, she's hardly going to throw away her best friend because of it. You know I'm right." Finn said nothing, because just then, Sarah's voice could be heard out in the corridor.

            "Is my escort in there?" she called. Finn stood instantly, fixing his jacket.

            "He's right here, Sarah," Anna called back, throwing Finn a wink and a smile. He smiled back, and swallowed hard. Slowly Sarah opened the door, and when he saw her, Finn's breath caught in his throat. She was stunning, as always, but now it was a kind of dressed-up stunning, wearing a silvery gray skirt and top, with her hair up in a bun with a few strands hanging by her face. She grinned shyly at him, looking him up and down. He looked every bit the handsome guy she always knew he was, but she was nevertheless caught off guard by the effect his appearance had on her. She'd be fooling herself if she pretended this was the first time this had happened when she saw her foster brother, but wasn't about to jeopardize their great friendship for what might just be an innocent and temporary crush.

            "You look great," she said softly, almost to herself. "Even if you didn't get a haircut." He got ready to throw a good-natured tease back at her, when Anna's sudden and violent coughing fit silenced them both.

            "Grams, you okay?" Sarah asked fearfully, sitting at the side of the bed. Finn resumed his place on the other side, and reached for Anna's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. When her coughing started to die down a bit, the old lady acknowledged this, and motioned for Sarah to take her spare hand. Her granddaughter did, and Anna pushed the teenagers' hands together.

            "Whatever happens," she said urgently, still spluttering weakly. "You two stay together. You're soul mates. There's a reason why you live here, Finn. In this town, in this house. The two of you are meant to be together."

            Finn and Sarah said nothing, just looked from Anna to their joined hands. Sarah's face told Finn nothing about what she was thinking when he briefly glanced over at her. She looked as shocked as he was. He and Anna had just been talking about all this, but he thought he had made it clear that Sarah's feelings didn't match his. Anna had seemed to respect that, and had seemed to believe that what will be will be. Now she was saying they were meant for each other? How could she get that solely from him? Had Sarah said something to her? If so, what did that mean for them?

            "Look," he said to Anna gently, snapping out of his weird thoughts. Sarah could hear him choking up slightly. "You don't have to worry about a thing. Everything's going to be fine. Me, Sarah, the boys, everything – it's all going to be okay." Even as Finn said it, he knew he had been here before, as a little boy. Promising his father that he would always take care of Shay and Conn. The memory was enough to make his throat tighten, but once again, like he had done when he was eleven, he forced himself to stay strong for the people he cared about.

            "You're a good boy, Finn," Anna sighed. "I knew it the first time Grace and Joe brought you to visit. I knew why everyone in this house loves you." Finn didn't miss Anna's glance in Sarah's direction, but he didn't comment on it. Sarah looked over at him, and Finn cursed himself for abruptly looking away in shyness. They both realized that now was not the time to talk about this, and they both returned their attention to Anna.

            "Grams," Sarah said. "This dance isn't really a big deal. I mean, we can just stay home with you. Watch a movie or something."

            "Yeah," Finn agreed quickly. "Then I can get out of these clothes. We'll even let you choose the movie."

            "Not a chance, Mr. Maguire," Anna said, sounding a bit drowsy and looking a bit confused. Finn and Sarah wondered if she even remembered what she had just said. "Now go. Go, dance, swoon, and come back here and tell me all about it." Sarah kissed her grandmother's forehead, and reluctantly headed for the corridor. Finn followed her, giving the only grandmother he ever had a lingering glance at the door. Anna smiled at him, before dozing off. Finn walked out into the hall, and found Sarah leaning against the wall, her face full of worry.

            "She's going to die, isn't she?" she asked him in a frightened whisper. Feeling a rush of protectiveness, and complete lack of hesitation, Finn moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her gently. She relaxed into his hug, feeling more helpless than she ever had before. Someone she loved was going to be leaving her soon, and she didn't know how she was going to handle that. It had never happened to her before.

            Finn knew about death. He had lost his mother without the chance to say goodbye. He had seen the light in his father go out before his very eyes. And now Anna was getting sicker, and there was every chance she wouldn't survive. Finn couldn't offer Sarah anything that would remove the fear and pain that he was all too familiar with. All he could offer was support and understanding. Lucky for him, that was what she needed.

            "Come on," he said softly, brushing her hair and tears off her face carefully. "We have to go and get some gossip to tell her, or she'll think we're boring." Sarah smiled appreciatively at him, and he gave her that great boyish, shy smile of his that reminded her why he was the best friend she ever had.

            "Shall we?" he asked, holding his hand out to her. She gladly took it, and they set out for the night.

Hope you liked this one. I'm sorry I'm introducing so many new characters. The only really important ones are Finn and Sarah. The rest are just sort of bit-players.


	8. Together At Last

This is another flashback. I own all the characters in this chapter. Thanks for the good feedback from the last one. It's nice to know you guys like Finn and Sarah. By the way, this is really long, and if you read the chapter title, you're pretty much going to know what happens. Enjoy.

Chapter 8:        Together at Last

            Finn cringed as the DJ put on another cheesy pop number from a boy band with voices higher than most girls. This was starting to get unbearable. The school gym was over-decorated with streamers and balloons, and the food was limited and questionable.

            "It's official," Dean shouted over the music, sitting down next to Finn after his dance. "This DJ needs to have his balls sewn back on." Rachel Quentin, his date, laughed flirtatiously at his joke, giving it a little more credit than it deserved. Seb was busy practicing his latest chat-up lines on any girl who would listen, and Amanda was blatantly ignoring her escort to stare adoringly at Dean.

            "Right," she spoke up after a moment, addressing the whole table. "Who hasn't had a dance yet?" She and the other girls at the table were doing a poll on their dates, in categories like best dressed, most attentive, and most importantly, best dancer. No girl was allowed to vote for her own date, and the boys were not to know about the results. However, they did know about the competition.

            "I can't say I'm enjoying being eyeballed like a sex object," Seb said in mock seriousness. He and Dean exchanged a glance and both burst out laughing.

            "Wait," Dean chuckled. "Yes we can."

            "Is anyone going to answer my question?" Amanda asked impatiently.

            "Maguire hasn't strutted his stuff yet," Seb pointed out. Finn looked up in horror.

            "What do you say, Finny?" Amanda taunted.

            "Um, n-no, I d-don't think so," he muttered, suddenly very interested in his shoes.

            "Oh, come on, Finn," Rachel pressed. "We can't rate you if we don't see you dance. Besides, Sarah didn't bring you so that you could sit there all night and do nothing." Finn's friends now turned their attention to Sarah, who looked a little uncomfortable.

            "He doesn't have to . . ." she began, before the other kids began to boo and goad good-naturedly. Sarah looked to Finn for some indication as to what he wanted. Things had been quiet between them since Anna's little 'prediction' earlier on. She wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it yet. Nevertheless, he gave her no indication of what he was thinking, so she slowly stood. The jeers soon turned to cheers, and the kids looked at Finn to see his reaction. To their surprise, he had begun to laugh. Sarah knew it was nervous laughter.

            "I c-c-can't d-dance," he pleaded, smiling through his misery.

            "T-t-t-tough shit, Maguire," Dean teased, making a cheap jab at Finn's stutter. "Now get your blarney out on that floor."

            "Come on," Sarah said with a soft smile, almost flirtatious. "I've been waiting all night to dance with the best looking guy in the room." Finn felt himself blush as she said that, but managed to hide it.

            "Well, until he turns up, you'll have to make do with me." He reached for Sarah's hand, and led her towards the floor. Almost instantly, the DJ changed the music, this time to a slow, romantic ballad. Jeff Buckley's 'Hallelujah', one of Finn's favourites, and the only good song the DJ had played all night. He didn't know whether or not he was relieved. It would be easier for him to dance to this one, but he was uncomfortable about slow dancing with Sarah in front of all his classmates. Once they reached the dance floor, they tentatively moved towards each other. Finn put his hands on Sarah's waist awkwardly, and she responded by putting hers on his arms.

            "You okay?" Sarah asked her best friend, whose eyes were fixed firmly on the floor. He began to say something, but his stammer made his words messy and impossible to understand. He tried to hide it with a cough, and bowed his head even further. Having lived with him for six years, Sarah knew this act well, and squeezed his arm gently.

            "Don't," she whispered. "Forget about them. There's no need to be nervous. It's just you and me." Finn finally looked up, but was still tense. He didn't tell Sarah that there was nothing he wanted more than for it to just be the two of them, alone, without all their friends looking at them. Then he could hold her as close as he wanted, and not worry about what anyone thought. There were kids in his school who still believed that he and Sarah were biologically related, that he was a cousin from Ireland or something. The last thing he needed was high school rumours that he was an incestuous pervert. Everyone else knew how close they were, but thought that they were more like family than anything else. Finn was scared to admit that his love for Sarah wasn't as familial as everyone thought, and looking at her now, her face full of care and concern for him, he knew that it never would be.

            "Sorry," he croaked, barely audible. "It's usually so easy to talk to you. It's just . . ." His voice trailed off, and he looked away again. _God, this is so hard,_ he thought to himself furiously. _If this keeps up, I'll never be able to hold onto her._

            "Because of what Grams said?" Sarah guessed correctly. Finn nodded apologetically.

            "Did it freak you out?" she asked.

            "A little," he admitted. "I thought she looked at us as family, like your parents do."

            "So did I," Sarah said. "But I guess not. Sometimes things seem to change right in front of your eyes, until you realize you were just looking at them wrong all this time." Finn didn't dare ask what she meant by that. Sarah put her arms around his neck loosely, inviting him to hold her just a bit tighter. Finn felt his mouth go dry, but he gladly moved his hands around to her back. Neither of them said anything for a moment, and just listened to the music.

            "One of your favourites," Sarah pointed out. Finn laughed softly as Sarah rested her head on his shoulder. He suddenly became worried that she'd feel his heart pounding. Slowly, he began to relax, and acknowledged that he had the girl he loved in his arms, if only for one dance. For that one dance, Finn Maguire's life was perfect.

            "It's such a waste, isn't it?" Seb said, watching his friends dance. Actually, dancing wasn't the word for it. Finn and Sarah were barely moving to the music, and were holding each other very closely.

            "What's a waste?" Amanda asked. Seb motioned to the not-quite-a-couple on the dance floor.

            "Finn and Sarah," he explained. "It's a shame he can't just ask her out and be done with it. It's so obvious that he's crazy about her. Now it's just getting sad."

            "Finn and Sarah!?" Rachel repeated. "Gross! They're like brother and sister!"

            "Rach," Seb said in a patronizing tone. "If I had a sister, you can bet your life I wouldn't dance with her like that."

            Throughout this conversation, nobody noticed how quiet Dean was. If anyone had even bothered to look at him, they would have seen him glaring at Finn and Sarah in fury. After everything he had done for Maguire, the stuttering Mick was moving in on a girl that rightfully belonged to Dean. He and Sarah had only dated once, briefly, but it was enough for Dean to know that he wanted this girl. Looking at her now, resting in Finn's arms, touching him, sharing a private smile with him, Dean felt his blood boil.

            _Maguire, you bastard…_ he thought to himself. Nearby, a kid racing back to his date with some sodas accidentally bumped into Dean. Any normal person would let this go, but without even looking to see who he was attacking, Dean jumped out of his chair and lunged at the kid, an acceptable replacement for Finn Maguire.

            "What the hell?" Finn wondered aloud, snapping out of his pleasant trance. He and Sarah turned to see Dean kicking the crap out of some guy. Finn raced over and, with Seb's help, managed to drag his bigger, stronger friend off the other guy. Finn hated fights, especially unfair ones. Uncle Patrick's fights were unfair, and he had promised long ago that he'd do his best to help anyone in that position. In this case, it meant siding against Dean.

            "Get a grip, Dean," he ordered, keeping a tight grip on his friend, motioning to the younger kid to get the hell away, hoping that not many people had seen this. However, half the kids at the dance had seen Dean jump on this guy, and so had the supervising teacher, who wasted no time in kicking Dean out. Assuming that Finn and Seb were in on the fight, they got sent out too.

            "Nice one, Wolfe," Seb muttered when they were outside. He and Dean bickered for a moment about whose fault the fight was, but Finn's mind was elsewhere. It was on the gorgeous girl walking out of the gym, smiling at him. The girl he had loved since he had been capable of such an emotion.

            Sarah Bryce.

            "So," she said when she reached him. "Are you going to walk me home?"

            *                      *                      *

            A little over an hour later, Sarah was sitting on the couch in her living room, dressed in her everyday clothes. She didn't mind that they had only stayed an hour and a half at the dance. She was just as happy here, at home, with Finn. Her parents had taken Shay and Connor out for dinner and a movie, and because Sarah and Finn were so early, they had the house to themselves.

            "And the illusion shatters," she heard Finn say behind her. He walked into the living room, dressed now in his old jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair messy again. The well-dressed, clean-cut image from the dance was gone, but the beautiful Irish kid was still there. Beautiful was a word Sarah never used to describe boys, and certainly never thought she'd apply that description to her best friend, but it now seemed like the most fitting word, in every sense.

            _Oh my God,_ she thought in fearful excitement. _Am I falling in love with my foster brother?_

            "You got a raw deal," Sarah said, hiding her frightening thoughts. "Cinderella got until midnight before her rags reappeared."

            "Leave my fashion sense alone, Ms Bryce," Finn advised, sitting next to her. "You know what they say about people in glass houses."

            "Screw you," Sarah laughed. She didn't know which she enjoyed more – sitting here with Finn, sharing affectionate teases, or feeling his arms around her, his hands on her waist and back. She wondered if there would ever be a time in her life when she could have both in equal measure, whereas Finn was completely content just being near her. He wanted to kiss her, so badly, and she equally longed for him to do so, but fear and shyness held them both back. Finn tried to think of something to say to distract himself, but was just lost for words.

            "What is it?" Sarah asked, noticing how quiet and thoughtful Finn had suddenly grown. He was thinking about all the events of this night. He and Sarah had grown even closer in the last few hours, and yet he knew there was something she didn't know about him. One final wall he had never let her pass. She knew it too, but had never pressed the matter.

            _Tell her,_ Finn ordered himself. _Tell her what you promised Dad. The one final, painful thing you've never shared. Tell her!_

            "Did I ever tell you about how my dad died?" he asked, looking up at her. Sarah turned to him, confused and surprised by the sudden question. Finn only talked about his parents' lives, never their death. Finn was more open with her than with anyone, and yet she knew that there was some secret that he hadn't let her in on. Until now.

            "He didn't actually die in the car crash," Finn explained. "My mum died instantly, though. After she was gone, everyone was certain my dad would be close after. The doctors said he wouldn't live through the night – that his body had been completely mangled in the accident. It's amazing what doctors say when they don't know a little kid is listening."

            Finn paused for a moment, remembering sitting in the waiting room as the doctor explained the situation to the neighbours. There had been no relatives to contact, with Uncle Patrick being the only other family that Finn knew of. Finn's eyes had been closed and he was curled up under a jacket, so everyone thought he was asleep. But he had heard everything. He had heard them say his father was as good as dead. But they didn't know Liam Maguire.

            "They gave him one night," Finn continued. "But he held on for a week, crying, screaming my mother's name, slipping in and out of consciousness. Nobody could understand how a man in so much pain – physically and emotionally – wouldn't just . . . let go. But I knew." He looked at Sarah, who was hanging on his every word.

            "So I snuck into his room while the nurse was on her coffee break. I didn't even recognise him at first. His face was all bandaged up and . . ." Finn's voice suddenly disappeared, cracking with emotions he had bottled up for six years.

            "And his body was plugged up to all these different machines. I went over to him, and his eyes opened. For the first time that he was conscious, he didn't start yelling. He just looked at me. I took his hand, and I said, 'Everything's going to be okay. I'll take care of them. I promise.' And I swear to God, he smiled at me. And then he went."

            Sarah didn't know what to say. She felt her throat tighten, feeling every bit of Finn's pain like it was her own. He had never told anyone what she now knew, and would never tell anyone again. For the first time, he had allowed someone to share the load he had carried alone for too long. The relief was incredible. Both totally overcome, they embraced tightly.

            "They'd both be so proud of you," Sarah told him, her breath warm against his neck. "Your dad and your mom. You're doing exactly what you promised them you'd do, and more." Without even having to look at him, she knew that Finn probably doubted everything that she was telling him.

            "I mean it," she insisted, turning to look at him, their faces little more than an inch apart. Finn just looked at her, letting his hand drop to hers. The skin was battered and rough from carpentry and Uncle Patrick, but she had never noticed how gentle and warm his touch was, more so than anything she had ever felt before.

            "You know," he began softly, baring his soul. "I really have no idea how I would have survived without you. If it weren't for you, I'd be doing this all alone. Don't get me wrong, your parents are incredible, but you . . ." He looked directly at her, closer to tears than she had ever seen him. "You're my best friend, Sarah. You know that, right?"

            "I know," Sarah whispered, squeezing his hand. "You're mine, too." Unlike their encounter with Anna earlier that evening, or the dance, all self-consciousness and nervousness about being so close to each other was now gone. It was just them, and there was nothing to be afraid of.

            "I've been meaning to ask you," Finn said, a boyish smile forming on his face. "If you'd like to dance with me." It was only then that Sarah realised that the radio was on, and another slow, romantic ballad was playing.

            "Finn," she laughed. "There's nobody grading you now. You don't have to . . ."

            "I want to," Finn interrupted, standing up from the couch, his hand still gripping hers. "I screwed it up earlier. I should have just asked. So, dance with me?" They smiled at each other, and Sarah slowly stood, letting Finn pull her to him. This time, they moved together perfectly, eyes on each other the entire time.

            Lost to the moment, Sarah found herself leaning closer to Finn. He did the same, before Sarah abruptly pulled away, hit by a sudden anxiety. Was this really what she wanted, what he wanted? Or was it just a reaction to Anna's ramblings, something inside both of them that just wanted to please a sick, old woman. If this were a mistake, would there ever be another chance to turn back, a chance to save their friendship? Sarah quickly let go of Finn, the sudden pain and confusion in his eyes breaking her heart.

            "Finn, I'm sorry," she murmured, thinking she had made a complete fool of herself. She turned to walk away from him, when he took her by the arm and pulled her back for the most amazing kiss of her life, full of love, warmth and passion. She kissed him back joyfully, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting him hold her closer. They kissed again, months – even years – of pent-up desire for each other being released. Finally, but all too soon, they parted, but kept a tight hold on each other.

            "God, what are we doing?" Sarah breathed. Finn tilted her chin upward to face him, looking straight into her eyes, her soul.

            "Staying together," Finn whispered, echoing what Anna had told them. Sarah knew as well as Finn that her grandmother had been right. This was no mistake; it was meant to be. Neither of them had ever been more certain of anything in their lives. They smiled at each other, almost shyly, before Sarah rested her head against Finn's shoulder, letting out a small sigh of contentment and relief. Finn, on the other hand, felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time, since his parents died. It was as if a great void in his life had suddenly been filled. He felt a sense of belonging, like he finally had a place to call home.

Hope you liked, and weren't bored. I know it was a bit long, and I'm sorry. There will be Cliffhangers in the next chapter, I promise, although I doubt it will be up before Christmas. So happy New Year to you all, and please R&R.


	9. A Face From The Past

As promised, back to present day Horizon now. I own Danny, Finn, Beth and her parents. Everyone else belongs to whoever made Higher Ground. Still resent them for not continuing it, but . . . oh well.

This is very much a Danny chapter. I haven't written anything for the guy in a while, and I kind of miss him. (Very sad, I know!)

Chapter 9:        A Face From The Past

            "You okay?" Danny asked Beth, touching her arm softly. His girlfriend could only manage a faint nod. They were sitting on the steps of the main lodge, waiting for Beth's parents to arrive on their visit. Neither Beth nor Danny knew exactly what the nature of their visit was, but because they had barely spoken to their daughter in a year, they were worried.

            "It'll be fine," Danny said reassuringly, draping his arm over Beth's shoulders. He couldn't offer any details from his past that would make this easier on her, some story of a family fight that had turned out okay in the end. Danny had spent his childhood alone, and hadn't known of any family until he came to Horizon. Since then, his family life had been great – he had a twin sister he saw every day, and who was his best friend, and he had a mother and a kid sister who phoned and wrote all the time. The Merricks were so desperate not to lose each other again that they did their best to avoid fights.

            The only thing Danny could offer Beth was support. He cared about her a lot, and that was why he was so worried. Part of him was afraid that Beth's parents were just coming to pick a fight, that they'd upset her even more about her brother's death and her progress would plummet. Danny couldn't bear to watch her hurting that much again. At the same time, he was scared that they were coming to make peace, because then they might want to take her away from Horizon and back home, where Danny would never see her. That may be best for her, in which case he was in favour of it, but he didn't want to let her go.

            "So," Beth sighed, making small talk before her parents arrived. "How's your buddy settling in?"

            "I'm not on first week duties anymore," Danny said, going along with her all-is-well act. "But I can report that Finn Maguire is one weird guy. He's barely said two words to anyone. Occasionally, he'll say something in some language – Irish, I guess – to David, which I'm hoping is really offensive. You should see him chop wood, though. Guy's like a machine. He's almost as good as you."

            "Funny," Beth muttered dryly.

            "And he just looks at his pictures all the time," Danny continued. "I think he's homesick. Other than that, he's pretty much a mute loner."

            "Remind you of anyone?" Beth joked. She had been very well informed of how Danny was when he first arrived at Horizon.

            "I was not mute," Danny pointed out defensively. "I talked about the weather for three hours straight. I'll do it again if you want."

            "Maybe later," Beth said smiling, leaning in closer to Danny. She had never been this comfortable with a guy before. In her old life, she had always tried so hard to impress 'hot' guys by dressing and acting in a certain way. She had never really been attracted to a guy's personality, or vice versa. It was this kind of emotionless relationship that played a part in her downfall. An evening of passion with her boyfriend Todd while babysitting her little brother meant that she didn't listen to the baby's cries, and little Ryan was dead when she checked him. She then tried for months to get rid of the pain through drugs, drink and sex, but none of them worked, and she got shipped to Horizon. On starting her recuperation, she promised herself – among other things – that she would never date a guy for such superficial reasons again. She decided to find a boy who was considerate, thoughtful and caring, everything that she had never had.

            But she never could have expected to find him so quickly in Danny Merrick. Danny was quiet, and played his cards close to his chest. Some of the kids at Horizon likened him to a dog that had been kicked too many times, and his blue eyes were always shadowed with a fear that not even Beth – or possibly even Shelby – had been let in on yet. There were some people who would call Danny emotionally detached, but Beth knew that wasn't true. Despite being secretive, Danny was also the most tender, caring, kind and loyal person she had ever known, who often did the unexpected. When Beth had first told him about her brother, instead of being repulsed – like she had feared – he reached out for her and they shared their first kiss.

            _The first of many_, Beth thought with a smile as she leaned closer to him. Danny didn't bother asking what was so amusing. She was smiling, and that was the important thing. After another few minutes of comfortable silence, Sophie came out, and was surprised to see that Beth's parents hadn't arrived yet.

            "I knew they'd be late," Beth explained. "My dad never asks for directions. He's kind of proud."

            "Well, I'm sorry, Beth," Sophie said. "But I'm going to have to steal Danny. He's going on a climb with Roger and the other kids."

            "Please, Soph," Danny said with his most innocent face. "Can I just wait until her parents get here? Then I'll go."

            "Okay," Sophie sighed, reluctantly giving into the angel-faced Merrick twin. "Five minutes, then you have to go."

            "Why's Roger taking them?" Beth asked.

            "Peter and I have a two-on-one therapy session with Finn," Sophie explained, and the kids could hear the lack of delight in her voice. "Ought to be interesting."

            "Rather you than me," Danny said. "Like talking to a wall."

            "Oh, no . . ." Beth groaned. Sophie and Danny turned and saw a gray car coming up the road, stopping a few dozen feet away from the lodge. Danny reached over and squeezed Beth's hand.

            "It's going to be okay," he promised in a voice so low Sophie couldn't hear what was being said. "I'll be here."

            "Thank you," Beth whispered back. The two of them stood up in unison as the person in the car's passenger seat – Beth's mother – got out. Danny decided to do a quick scan on her face. Living on the streets, surrounded by so many different types of people, Danny had learned to read people very early on. He needed to know who was safe and who would want to hurt him. Only way to survive.

            Beth's mother was a woman about the same age as his own, and looked a little bit like her daughter. There wasn't really any cruelty in her face, just pain and sadness, giving her a worn expression that made her look older. Danny had to feel sorry for her, despite how she had treated Beth. He had listened to his own mother recount the guilt she felt over losing her only son, when near poverty forced her and her husband to put one of their baby twins up for adoption. She got Danny back, albeit sixteen years late. Beth's mother was never going to get her son back.

            The driver's door opened and Beth's father got out. Danny got ready to quietly examine him. But as soon as the man's face was visible, Danny was struck by a cold, sickening feeling he hadn't had since he was a little boy.

            A feeling he had when he'd lie awake in his cot at night, praying that he'd be spared, hearing the loud thud of the heavy working boots against the wooden floor, slowly and deliberately making their way towards him.

            The sound of those boots as they struck a tiny body, almost drowned out in the screams of the boy being attacked. The man's gruff voice shouted obscenities at this little boy, as he spoiled the pale, delicate features with kicks and punches. The man that Danny never thought he would see again.

            _Oh, God no,_ Danny thought to himself in a devastated panic. _Not him! Not here! Oh God, Beth . . ._

            "I'm . . . I'm sorry," Danny spluttered, hardly able to get the words out. "I have to . . . go." Letting go of Beth's hand, he turned and ran without another glance at her or Sophie. The girl and her counselor exchanged baffled, concerned glances, but knew as Beth's parents approached that their questions would have to wait.

            Danny Merrick ran as fast as his legs would carry him. He ran past the boys' dorm, the girls' dorm, the gazebo, not entirely sure of where he was going. All of a sudden, he felt like a child again, a frightened, helpless child. He could almost feel the wounds on his body and soul – the wounds that had taken so long to heal – tear open again, burning him. His breathing was coming in loud, frantic pants, but all he could hear were screams of terror, shouts of abuse, and cracks of a belt whipping against soft flesh.

            "Danny?" a voice called in the distance, a voice Danny recognized, but only just. He continued to run, until he felt an hand touch his shoulder. He flinched at the touch, stumbled, but managed to stay on his feet. The sounds in his head disappeared, like a plug being pulled on a stereo. His mind cleared, and he turned to see who had touched him. Coincidentally, it was the same person who had been the first to ever touch him in kindness and affection. The first person who hadn't wanted to hurt him, but had wanted to take care of him. The first person to ever hold him, or tell him he was loved.

            His sister.

            "Shelby . . ." Danny breathed, more than a little disoriented. Shelby had been coming from the bathroom, and was on her way back to where the Cliffhangers were waiting to go on a climb, when she had seen her twin brother running aimlessly past. She had been surprised by the normally affectionate boy's response to her touch, as if he were terrified of her. Nevertheless, she tentatively touched her brother's shoulder again, looking at his face. He was even paler than usual, sweating, and his eyes were wide and full of terror.

            "Danny, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly. "You look like you've seen a ghost." Danny blinked, and pulled Shelby into a hug that he desperately needed. Shelby was confused, but hugged him back, stroking his matted blond hair. She could hear his wheezy breathing, and his heart was going unusually fast.

            "Nothing," he croaked, glad that Shelby couldn't see his face. She'd know he was lying. "Just felt like a run. Kind of wore me out. I'm fine."

            But Shelby wasn't Danny's twin for nothing. They shared a strange but strong bond that had not been lessened by the fact that they had spent their entire childhood apart. She knew that something was seriously wrong, but also knew that Danny couldn't talk about it now. So she just held him, hoping that she was providing him with just an ounce of the comfort that he seemed to need so badly.

Author's Note:             Just out of curiosity, who do you guys like best – Finn or Danny? Or do they both pale in comparison to that perfect specimen of manhood known as Scott Barringer (lol)!? As you gathered from the story, Beth's father is no stranger to the male Merrick twin. But will this connection threaten his relationship with Beth? All will be revealed soon. I know this chapter's kind of bizarre, so please let me know if you think it works. This story's going to be darker than the other two of the trilogy, and I hope you guys still like it anyway.

Next chapter:    Finn does therapy with Peter and Sophie, but Scott and Auggie have different ways of communicating with the newbie. Up ASAP. 


	10. Therapy Much?

Okay, I am a big fan of all the Cliffhangers, but I make them look kind of bad in this chapter. Don't worry though, because I still love them all, and they will be redeemed. Right now though, they treat Finn like crap. And why wouldn't they - they think he's a rapist.

By the way, despite the amount of time it took to get this up, it's not very good. I'm sorry.

Chapter 10:      Therapy Much?

            "We'll be ready to start soon, Finn," Peter told the boy sitting in front of his office desk. "Just as soon as Sophie gets here."

            "Fine," Finn muttered, not caring much either way. He didn't like this whole therapy idea, and knew what sort of questions were going to be asked. He'd have to be careful if and when they started asking about Sarah. They didn't believe him as it was about the would-be rape, and if they knew that he and Sarah were involved at the time, they'd think he was even more despicable for cheating on his girlfriend. Before Sophie arrived, Finn decided to ask some questions of his own. "When do you see me getting out of here, Mr. Scarbrow?"

            "Peter, please," Peter told him for the thousandth time. This kid may be a lot of things, but he had manners. "And that all depends."

            "On what?" Finn pressed.

            "Well, there's the question of your behavior here. If you keep your nose clean, maintain good grades, cooperate in therapy sessions, then you may be allowed to leave early."

            "How early?" Finn asked. "Weeks or months? Will I be graduating here, or with my class? Or have I lost my right to an education?"

            "Finn," Peter said calmly. "You've only been here two weeks. Just take it easy, and don't make things harder on yourself than they have to be." Finn slouched in his seat, frustrated by Peter's non-committal answers. As he scratched the black shadow of bristles over his scalp, Sophie finally came through the office door.

            "Sorry I'm late," she told them. "I was talking to Beth's parents." She stood beside her seated husband, and they both looked at the young man in front of them. He threw his hands up as if to say 'so what now?'

            "Right, Finn," Sophie said, starting the session off. "Is there anything you want to tell us about your life before you lived with the Bryces?"

            "Not really," Finn muttered. "It's all in my file."

            "We only file facts, Finn, not feelings," Sophie explained. "Your life went through some pretty significant changes when you were eleven. Didn't it?"

            "Yeah," Finn sighed, deciding to give them something. He wouldn't get anywhere by blanking them, but couldn't tell them everything. "Things were great until my parents died, then we went to live with my uncle."

            "You and your brothers?" Sophie stated more than asked. "How old were they?"

            "Young," Finn said simply. "Seamus was five, Connor was three. They didn't understand."

            "Did your uncle beat them?" Sophie asked.

            "No. He wanted to but I wouldn't let him. By the time he was finished with me, he was too tired and drunk to go after them."

            "Did you feel obliged to take those beatings for your brothers?" Peter asked bluntly.

            "Obliged?" Finn repeated, considering it. "No. But I would never let anything happen to them that I could prevent. And by letting my uncle do that, I kept them safe. It wasn't an obligation, it was a choice. And I'd do it again for them." Peter nodded, considering the answer. He was becoming more and more confused by this boy's presence at his school every day. Surely someone so full of love and loyalty couldn't do what Finn was being accused of. Then again, just because he loved his family didn't mean he wasn't capable of something awful, like attempting rape.

            "Were you happier with the Bryces?" Sophie asked, as intrigued by this boy as her husband was.

            "Yeah," Finn declared sincerely. "They're like family. When we were first told we were going into foster care, I was certain we'd be separated, and thrown around from place to place, never fitting in anywhere. But Joe and Grace were...well, as close to parents as we were going to get. They didn't care that Connor woke up screaming every night for a month, or that Shay wet the bed. They didn't care that I would barely speak to them..."

            "Why wouldn't you speak to them?" Peter interrupted.

            "I was ashamed," Finn admitted, hearing the words before he even knew he had said them. _Shit, these guys are good!_ "I had a stammer, and my uncle had made it even worse. I could barely string a sentence, especially with people I didn't know. It took me ages to open up to them, and if it weren't for Sarah, I probably never would have."

            "Your foster sister," Peter stated, and Finn realized he had walked into a trap. "You two were close, weren't you?"

            "Past tense, eh?" Finn scoffed. "Sarah's the only one who believes I'm innocent. She's my best friend."

            "Is that all that there was . . . is between you two?" Sophie asked, beating around the bush.

            "Are you and Sarah in a relationship?" Peter asked, again being blunt. Finn looked from one shrink-teacher to the other, and then at the clock. Thankfully, Sophie's delay had sped proceedings along nicely, and time was up.

            "One thing at a time, Peter," he said calmly, standing up. "If you keep this up, I might get out early. That won't do your bank balance any favours." Without another word, and a simple and not very genuine nod of thanks, Finn Maguire walked out of the office. The Scarbrows both sighed, and Sophie flopped down in the seat that the teenager had been in.

            "So, your verdict?" she asked her husband.

            "I don't know, Soph," Peter muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Everything in that file could indicate that this kid's hostile. Parents dead, uncle violent and abusive. It could corrupt any kid."

            "That's what I thought when you first told me he was coming," Sophie agreed. "That he had been made into a monster. But now..."

            "I know," Peter said. "There's no indication in his manner that he's capable of what he's been accused of. And then there's the Bryce girl. There's definitely something there that he's not telling us. He has her picture up in the dorm, for God's sake, next to his brothers. How could a guy with this much feeling be an 'attempted rapist?'" Sophie couldn't answer that question for her husband, and wondered if she'd ever be able to.

            "By the way," Sophie said after a moment. "You may want to have a word with Danny."

            "Danny?" Peter repeated, surprised. The Merrick twin seemed to be doing great. "Why?"

            "One minute, he wants to stay with Beth and meet her parents. The car pulls up, and suddenly, he can't get away fast enough."

            "Ah, parent-out-law syndrome," Peter declared, glad it was nothing serious. "Sometimes kids who meet girls here get cold feet about meeting their parents. Scared that their pasts will make them unworthy, or something. He'll be fine." Sophie wanted to share her husband's confidence, but had personally never seen the boy that freaked before. She was sure that something was wrong.

                                                *                      *                      *

            _God, that was close_, Finn thought to himself as he walked briskly out of the lodge. _Going to have to avoid the Scarbrow therapy sessions from now on. They might cure me! _He steered towards the woodshed, wanting to work off some of his tension, when he bumped into Shelby and Danny. Literally.

            "Sorry," Finn mumbled, head down.

            "Don't worry about it," Danny said in a similar fashion. He was still shaken after the arrival of Beth's parents, and personally didn't have anything against Finn, so he wasn't about to launch an attack over a simple bump. Shelby, however, was not so civil.

            "Watch where you're going, creep!" she snapped at Finn. Danny had taken the force of the collision, but Shelby was still worried about him after his 'turn.' She was in full protective mode, and it gave her an excuse to have a go at Finn.

            "Look, I said I was sorry," Finn said, getting angry. "Give me a break."

            "What's the problem here?" another voice demanded. Finn turned around and saw Scott standing in front of him, flanked by Auggie and David.

            _Wonderful,_ Finn thought to himself in disgust. _The cavalry._

            "No problem here, mate," Finn said in a mock-cheerful voice. "Just going about my business. No concern of yours." He tried to push past the three guys in front of him, but they were having none of it.

            "You mess with my girl and her brother," Scott threatened. "And it damn well is my concern." If this guy was really an attempted rapist, there was no way in hell he was getting anywhere near Shelby without going through Scott first. He had learned his lesson with Tony that dangerous guys couldn't be trusted around beautiful girls. Finn was dangerous, Shelby was beautiful, and therefore, Scott was pissed.

            "Scott, man," Danny pleaded half-heartedly. "Leave it." Scott misinterpreted Danny's white face and weary expression as Finn's doing, and he got even angrier. He leaned in towards Finn and spoke in a gruff hiss.

            "I don't know how the hell you managed to get sent here instead of Juvie, but we know what you are. You're an animal and a bully, and I see you anywhere near Shelby or Danny again, and so help me God..." Scott's voice trailed off, but he had made his opinion clear. David, always self-obsessed, wanted a piece of the action too.

            "That's right, buddy," he told Finn, taking the slander one step too far. Right then, he just wanted to say something that he thought would really piss the guy off. "Go near any of the girls here, and you'll be going home to the slut in your photograph in a wheelchair."

            David continued to rant at Finn, but the Irish kid could only hear the echo of the word 'slut.' Saying shit about him was one thing, but nobody - _nobody_ - was going to get away with badmouthing Sarah. With a single, fast punch to David's jaw, the kid was on the ground.

            "Talk about her like that again, and I'll kill you!" Finn swore, advancing on David. Forgetting for a moment how much he hated Ruxton, Scott jumped between the two boys and shoved Finn back. Finn would have kept his balance if Auggie hadn't followed up with a thump in the back, sending him down.

            "Son of a bitch!" Scott roared, lunging at Finn. But Finn hadn't been beaten up since he was eleven years old, and he was damned if he was going to let these kids take him down. He lifted his leg and got Scott with a swift kick in his side.

            "Aw, for Christ's sake, guys," Danny muttered, dragging Auggie to his feet. But Auggie wasn't finished, and went to help Scott. David was also back on his feet, and went for payback. It was now three boys against one, and considering the odds, Finn was doing rather well. He was strong and fast, but was only really familiar with defending himself against a drunk. Three young, tough athletic guys were a different story. As he and Shelby watched, Danny realized that the odds were impossible, and although the other guys were his best friends, he couldn't just let them kick the crap out of the newbie.

            "EZ, get over here!" he shouted, but Ezra was already on his way, followed closely by Jules and Daisy. The two slightest Cliffhanger boys had a hell of a time separating the other four, and because of the blind rage their friends were in, they were not spared a few blind kicks and punches from them. Danny felt the muscle in his right shoulder pull, and Auggie's elbow accidentally caught him in the face. But he was too angry and sad to notice the pain. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rush of icy cold water swept over them, and they all stopped fighting in complete shock.

            "Aw, shit..." David groaned, as he and the others looked up from the ground to see that they were being drenched by the emergency hose. But being cold, wet, bruised, bloodied and dirty was the least of their worries when they made out who was holding the hose.

            Sophie.

            "All of you!" she barked furiously at the boys. "Peter's office. Now!"

So, what's the punishment? Find out in the next chapter. As I said, Cliffhangers looked kind of bad here, but necessary for the story. Don't worry - they'll all be friends in the end. And by the end, Finn is definitely going to need some good friends.


	11. So Far, So Bad

I don't own Higher Ground. I own Danny, Beth, Finn, Sarah and any other new characters.

Very long chapter. In fact, probably my longest ever. I apologize.

Chapter 11:      So Far, So Bad

            "I must admit, guys," Peter sighed. "I'm disappointed."

            Peter Scarbrow looked around at the six teenaged boys standing in front of him. They were all drenched, the water from the hose making the dust on their clothes muddy. Most of them had at least a bloody lip or nose, and Finn and Danny were especially worse for wear. Danny's shoulder was killing him and fresh grazes stung his face. He could feel his eye swelling from where Auggie's elbow got him. Finn's knuckles were bleeding, and he too could feel various bruises building up underneath his skin. His back was particularly painful where David had kicked him when he was on the ground.

            "I mean, what were you thinking?" Peter continued, speaking to all of them. "There haven't been any fights in months now. I thought you had learned your lesson. Is anyone going to tell me what it was all about?" He looked at each of the boys in front of him, who were all avoiding looking back at him.

            "Ezra?" He picked the cleanest, most wide-eyed Cliffhanger to do the talking.

            "I don't even know why I'm here, Peter," Ezra told him. "Me and Danny weren't even fighting. We were pulling the others apart."

            "Snitch," David muttered under his breath.

            "It makes no difference, Ezra," Peter continued, ignoring David's remark. "You should have called for Sophie or me. You were involved enough for Danny to get injured."

            "I'm fine," Danny grumbled, really not in the mood for this.

            "Of course, I'm going to have to punish you," Peter sighed, trying to think of something suitable. "The bridge over the river, near the peak, is falling apart. Authorities have been meaning to get someone up here to fix it for weeks, but I guess now, there's no need."

            "Ah, I get it," David muttered. "By building a bridge, you hope that your troubled youngsters will be able to...build bridges?"

            "Not likely," Scott scoffed, glancing hatefully at Finn. Peter noticed this, and grew increasingly frustrated. He understood that Scott's past meant that he would be reluctant to accept this particular newcomer, but this was beginning to get out of control.

            "Okay, get out of here, all of you," Peter ordered half-heartedly. "Danny, get yourself down to the infirmary. Finn, you stay." The other boys began to exit the room, leaving only Finn.

            "I didn't start that fight," Finn announced. "I threw the first punch, yes, but they provoked me."

            "If I had a dollar for every student who told me that he was provoked into fighting, I could retire to Florida. It makes no difference, Finn. The fact is you're not doing a very good job of fitting in here. If you keep fighting everyone, everyone will eventually fight you right back."

            "With all due respect Mr. Scarbrow," Finn began angrily. "I'm not going to be all pally with some asshole who calls my girlfriend..." Finn stopped, realizing he had said too much. Peter stood up from his desk and walked towards Finn.

            "Girlfriend," Peter repeated slowly. "I take it you mean Sarah Bryce."

            "Forget it," Finn muttered. "I shouldn't have said anything. David goaded me, so I punched him. Everything I did after that was self-defense." He turned to go, but Peter's words silenced him.

            "Have you thought about them?" the teacher demanded. "Seamus and Connor. Have you stopped to wonder what happens to your family when you turn eighteen, when you finish school? The Bryces may be happy to let you continue living with them, but – with everything that happened before you left – they may not. Which means that, in a matter of months, you might well be thrown out on your ear. So you build yourself a life – get an apartment, a job, go to college, whatever you choose. You seem independent and sensible enough to make those adult choices." Finn was starting to get bored with Peter's pep talk.

            "But what happens to your brothers?" Peter asked. "It's more than likely that they'll stay with the Bryces, but they may be allowed to stay with you from time to time, pending school, accommodation, and all of that. Are you with me so far?" Finn nodded, wondering where this was going. To be honest, he hadn't given much thought to what direction he would take in the future. He just wanted to be back with Sarah and the boys.

            "Now, what you need to remember, Mr. Maguire," Peter said, reaching the punch line. "Is that what you do here affects your future, both directly and indirectly. The social workers may take one look at your recent history and decide that you are by no means a fit role model for your brothers, and might restrict the amount of time you get to spend with them. Add that to the hardly flattering report on your progress here thus far, and those social workers won't see your past. They won't see the loving parents and home you were robbed of, or the cruel, evil man whose wrath you had to endure for the sake of your brothers. They won't see the girl you clearly care for, and who cares for you. All they will see is an aggressive punk, who may or may not be sexually violent, and I can safely say that one word from them will ensure that you will not be allowed within a hundred feet of those boys until they are of legal age. Is that what you want?"

            Peter's question was rhetorical, obviously. Of course that wasn't what Finn wanted. He knew that the teacher was right, and that he was in danger of losing everything he cared about. When he looked up, Peter saw genuine fear in the boy's eyes, and hoped that that would be enough to keep him on the straight and narrow.

            "Think about this conversation the next time you're 'provoked,' Finn. Now, get down to the infirmary and get checked out." Without a word, Finn did as he was told, and walked out of the office and down towards the infirmary. When he entered, he saw a shirtless boy sitting on a kind of bed in the middle of the room, with his back to Finn. His back was what caught the Irish kid's attention, as it looked like – well, how Finn imagined his own back must look. There were scars along the boy's pale skin, some long, some short, all permanent. Finn knew from the shape of them that they had been caused by a number of different weapons – knives, belts, matches, among others – and that this poor kid, like Finn, was going to have to carry them for the rest of his life.

            Hearing the door close behind Finn, the boy turned around in fright, and Finn saw for the first time that it was Danny. The blond kid dropped the ice pack he was holding to his injured shoulder, and reached for his ruined t-shirt. Judging by the way he was looking at the floor, Finn sensed that – besides the Horizon nurse – nobody had seen Danny's scars before.

            "How'd you get 'em?" Finn asked bluntly.

            "None of your business," Danny muttered, trying furiously to pull the damp shirt over his body as quickly and painlessly as he could. "Just get the wisecracks over with so I can get out of here." He stood up and tried to walk past Finn, but stopped when he saw what Finn was doing. The newbie had pulled the collar of his baggy t-shirt down towards his right armpit, and Danny could clearly see an old, but still hideous mark just below his collarbone. It was long and deep, as though a chunk of the boy's flesh had been torn away, and it looked like it had once been infected.

            "When my parents died," Finn began in a quiet murmur. "My brothers and I went to live with our uncle in America. He was a bit of a bastard, and I was kind of his hobby. One night, he didn't bother dropping his beer bottle before he punched me." Finn could still remember the smashing glass against his skin, and the sudden and rapid outpour of blood from his arm. He had collapsed, and because it had been the last bottle of booze, Uncle Patrick had gone out to the pub for the rest of the night.

            Finn remembered Shay waking up and coming down stairs to find his big brother in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor. Under Finn's watchful eye, the poor little kid then had to spend the next two hours picking bits of glass out of Finn's arm, crying as he worked. He then helped Finn dress the wound, and together they actually did a rather good – if ultimately amateurish – first aid job. But because of the lack of proper medical attention, and because Finn constantly scratched the cut in his sleep, it got infected and never fully healed.

            "Damn," Danny breathed, appalled by the injury. "How old were you?"

            "Eleven," Finn answered, pretending like it didn't matter, before motioning to Danny. "You?"

            "Dunno," the blond kid muttered. "My whole life, really, from about four up. There was a kind of infants' section to the center I was in, so I was safe until I was old enough to move up to the 'big kids' floor. The guards there were..."

            "Guards!?" Finn repeated, incredulous.

            "Well, that's pretty much what they were," Danny confessed. "They were called care-givers, but they didn't give much care. Just beatings." Danny suddenly realized that he and this loathed newbie were having a conversation. A real conversation, where nobody was in danger of being beaten up. And also, a conversation that Danny had long avoided having with anyone, not even Shelby or Beth.

            "Look, man," he muttered, growing increasingly embarrassed. "Nobody knows about..."

            "Don't worry, mate," Finn said. "I won't tell anyone."

            "Thanks," Danny said, gratefully. He felt bad that this kid was getting such a crap deal. Danny hated sex offenders, especially since he hadn't been around to protect Shelby from one, but just didn't think that Finn – for all his anger and bitterness – was capable of something like that. But today was not the time to ask, mainly because the nurse chose that moment to return.

            "Okay, Danny," she said in a typically chirpy tone. Danny remembered what a shit condition he was in the time Scott beat him up, and yet even then, when he was barely able to stand, the nurse's voice was high-pitched and happy. It partly comforted him, and partly drove him insane. "If you're feeling better, and your nose has stopped bleeding, you can go. But come back if the pain in your shoulder doesn't go away."

            "Yes, ma'am," Danny muttered, walking past Finn without another word. He heard the nurse ask Finn what was wrong with him, but was soon too far away to hear how Finn explained himself. Right now, all Danny cared about was getting some sleep and forgetting this crap day ever happened. But as soon as he saw Beth coming in his direction, he knew that wasn't possible yet.

            "I heard about the fight," she said when she reached him, and he was secretly moved by how concerned she was. "Are you okay?" She touched his battered face softly as she said this, making his knees feel weak.

            "I'm fine," he assured her half-heartedly, reluctantly pulling away. "How was dinner with your parents?"

            "Awkward, at first," Beth admitted. "But it picked up. It was probably best you weren't there when they arrived. I would have had to spend the whole night explaining how you got here." Beth intended that as a joke, but she was still hurt by Danny's abrupt and unexplained departure at the most important moment, having promised he'd stay with her.

            "Yeah, sorry about that," Danny muttered, running a hand through his matted blond hair. "I freaked."

            "Yeah, well," Beth began, suddenly uncomfortable. "The thing is, my parents want me to come home. Finish up the school year there, with my friends, and try and fix the joke that is our family." Danny took a sharp intake of breath, just to make sure he could still breathe at all. The thought of Beth leaving hit him like a punch to the stomach, and he couldn't help but notice the irony in that. Punches to the stomach were her dad's specialty. _Caregivers, my ass!_ he thought bitterly, but said nothing.

            "They want me to leave with them at the end of the week," Beth continued, confused by Danny's lack of a reaction. "After everything that happened, after Ryan, I never could have expected them to forgive me. But they want to try." She paused again, waiting for Danny to say something – anything! She hated when he got like this, when she could never guess what he was thinking, and he would never tell her.

            The truth was, even if she asked, Danny wouldn't be able to tell her what he was thinking. There were too many dreadful thoughts spinning around in his head for him to pick out just one. He was terrified mostly – terrified of telling Beth the horrific truth about his past, and also terrified of losing her. Danny had never felt this way about anyone before, but knew enough about love and romance to know that most couples' conversations don't include the sentence 'guess what sweetheart – your father beat me when I was a kid.'

            "What do you want to do?" Danny finally asked, not looking at her.

            "I don't know what I want," Beth answered with a sigh. "I've missed my parents so much. I mean, when you're a kid, you feel like your parents can fix anything, and that you're never on your own."

            "I wouldn't know," Danny muttered accidentally. Beth looked at him apologetically, and he immediately felt bad. He had never been self-pitying about his childhood, or lack thereof, and it wasn't fair of him to start on Beth. He motioned for her to continue talking – anything to get him out of doing the same.

            "When I got older," she continued, no longer using the universal 'you.' Danny was not like most other kids. "I realized that they didn't know everything. But that doesn't mean I don't need them. I've really missed them."

            "You said," Danny remarked indifferently, then rephrased his first question. "What are you going to do?"

            "That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Beth said, moving closer to her increasingly distant boyfriend. "The way I look at it, there are lots of reasons for me to stay, and lots of reasons for me to go. It may be too soon for me to leave here, but it might be the only chance I get to fix things with my parents. And then there's you..." Danny froze, and when she caught the stunned expression on his face, she quickly backtracked.

            "All of you," she corrected. "The Cliffhangers, and Peter and Sophie. You guys all mean so much to me. It's like a whole other family. I just wish I could have both."

            "Well, it doesn't look like that, does it?" Danny said sharply, looking at her for the first time. "This is your decision. Do what you want." Danny hadn't meant to be hurtful, and he wasn't angry with Beth. Nevertheless, he was furious at the prospect of her being taken away from him, but didn't know how to tell her how he felt. So, hurtful seemed the easiest solution.

            And Danny knew that it worked when Beth turned away, clearly trying not to show how distressed she was. She wasn't trying to upset Danny, but she wanted to know where she stood with him. She cared about him so much, so much that she would gladly stay if he asked her to. She had promised herself that she wouldn't let her feelings for a guy influence how she lived her life, but it wasn't the same with Danny as it was with other guys. And while what she had said about the Cliffhangers was true, Danny Merrick was going to be the deciding factor on whether she stayed or went. And judging by how this conversation was going, it looked like she was going to have to start packing.

            "Look," Danny said to her back, his voice softer now. "I'm really tired, and my shoulder's killing me. I'm just going to get some rest, okay?" He hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not he should kiss or hug her before he left, before walking away without doing either.

Okay, I know that was long, so if you stuck with it, thanks. Please let me know what you think.

Next chapter:    Finn shuns the group, the group shuns Finn, Danny shuns everyone, and someone faces death in the river. Who is it? You'll just have to wait and see!


	12. Building Bridges

Hey folks! Sorry this took so long, but I've been very busy. As I said, a Cliffhanger is in trouble in this chapter. Who is it? Read and find out!

I own Finn, Danny, and Beth, nobody else.

Chapter 12:      Building Bridges

            "Gentlemen," Peter announced. "This is it." By the side of the rapid river, Peter motioned dramatically to the bridge behind him. Or at least, what was left of a bridge, because after years of harsh weather and neglect, it was now nothing more than two parallel wooden beams across the water, barely holding up a few planks of wood. All the wood was rotting and falling away, and there were gaps several feet long between some planks.

            "You've got to be kidding!" Scott exclaimed, dropping to his knees under the weight of the fresh wood on top of his backpack. The other kids did the same – the boys carrying the tools and wood, and the girls carrying the camping gear. Peter and Sophie had decided to turn the boys' punishment into a group hike, meaning the girls didn't miss out on a little character building either.

            "This is going to be hell," Auggie muttered, glancing pleadingly at Peter. "Guess it's too late to apologize, huh?"

            "Way too late," Peter said. "Girls, get everything set up here. Boys, get to work on the bridge."

            "Woman's place is in the home, eh, Peter?" David sighed dramatically. "Does your wife know what a chauvinist you are?"

            "That's why I married him, David," Sophie said dryly. Ezra's hand shot up, and Sophie motioned for him to speak.

            "So, what exactly do we do?" he asked. "I mean, do we just stick the new wood on the gaps, or what?"

            "Don't do that," Finn spoke up, without taking his eyes off the bridge. "The rest of the wood's rotten. It'll fall down soon, and we'll be up here again the next time we kick the crap out of each other." There was a long silence.

            "Well, Finn," Peter said. "As a carpenter, what would you do?"

            "Tear it all down," Finn said, standing to get a better look at the bridge. "The beams look okay, so leave them. But pull away the rest of it, and double up the replacement wood. Varnish it twice and it'll hold for another year or two."

            "You heard him, guys," Peter said. "Danny, Scott, you guys head up and start tearing down the wood. Ezra, you and Finn cross over further down, and do the same on the other side. Auggie and David, start unpacking the wood and tools." As the boys started to work – less than half-heartedly – Shelby pulled Scott away from the group for a little privacy.

            "Couldn't wait to get me on my own, huh?" Scott said with a sly grin, moving in to kiss his girlfriend. Shelby responded, but only momentarily, as there was a more pressing issue on her mind.

            "Does Danny seem alright to you?" Shelby asked, nodding towards her brother. Seeing how concerned she was, Scott stepped into his leader mode and turned to look at Danny. The younger Merrick twin was standing at the edge of the bridge, kicking absently at a piece of wood.

            "He's seemed pretty out of it these last few days," Scott admitted. "Not eating much, talking much. Sort of the return of John Doe."

            "But he's not John Doe anymore!" Shelby said, irritated. "He's not that person now. He has people who care about him – friends, family, Beth. He trusts everyone around him, and if he goes back to being the kid who expects nothing but pain, and then bottles it all up, then I don't know if I can help him again!"

            "Danny still trusts you, Shel," Scott assured her, putting an arm around her. "If there is something going on with him, he's going to need you more than ever, whether or not he realizes that yet. When I went through that court case, I thought the best way to deal with it would be to shut everyone out. But really, I only got over it by doing the opposite. Danny needs to figure that out for himself, and a smart guy like him will do that pretty quick."

            "Well, do you think you could talk to him?" Shelby pleaded. "See if you can speed up the process a little. I've tried, but he's not listening to me." Scott nodded, and Shelby hugged him in gratitude. After a glare from Peter broke them up, Scott went to the side of the bridge, where Danny was still standing. The dazed expression on his face made Scott wonder if he was contemplating jumping in.

            "Wrong place on the river for a swim, Dan," Scott joked, making an extra effort at conversation. "River's too deep and fast here. Wrong weather too. Couple more months, we'll all come out for a dip. You haven't had your first Horizon swim yet, have you?"

            "Or anywhere else," Danny muttered. Scott frowned, trying to figure that out, then it hit him.

            "You can't swim?" he asked in disbelief, then cursed himself for his lack of tact. Danny's pale face suddenly went red with embarrassment, and he turned angrily to Scott.

            "No, I can't," he stated. "And I can't ride a bike, I can't speak French or Latin, I can't tell you anything about Shakespeare, or Washington, I can't do trig or calculus...or long division! Hell, I can't even spell big words without sounding them out! I can't do any of those things, because nobody ever taught me! You, Shelby, Beth – you're smart. You're going to go off to college next year, and I'll be in some dead end job, earning minimum wage, taking crap from an asshole boss, and hoping to make employee of the month at least once before I'm forty!"

            "Danny, calm down, man..." Scott began, but Shelby's brother was on a role now.

            "Seriously, Scott," he continued, still angry. "There are so many things that you guys take for granted. Growing up in a family, going to school, having friends. I was sixteen years old before anyone ever cared about me, hugged me..." Danny's voice cracked, and he had to stop for a moment to get a grip. The other kids weren't too far away, and Danny didn't want any of them – especially Beth – to see him break down.

            "Let's be real, Scott," Danny said in a quieter, but equally emotional tone. "I've never been anything much, and I never will be. I don't deserve to be here. I just got lucky. You guys all have lives in the 'real world.' I've got nothing outside this place, and once we graduate, I'll be alone. It's all over for me."

            "It doesn't have to be," Scott insisted. "The progress you've made here this year is incredible. You've learned stuff that the rest of us took years to learn. If you keep that up, you could go to college too, in a year or so. And you won't be alone when you get out of here. You're pretty much the most important thing in Shelby's life, which automatically makes you important to me. And Beth's crazy about you..." Scott noticed Danny's scoff at this comment, and realized that he had struck a nerve. He was keen to discuss this further, but Danny had grabbed a nearby hammer, and was down on his hands and knees, hacking away furiously at a piece of rotten wood.

            "Well, listen," Scott said awkwardly. "When the weather gets better, I'll teach you to swim. Deal?"

            "Whatever," Danny muttered, not looking up.

            "Right," Scott sighed. Auggie and David shouted to him for assistance, and he reluctantly left his girlfriend's brother – his friend – alone with his pain.

            _God, I hate sharing_, Danny thought to himself miserably. His mind not on the work in front of him, he leaned forward on the bridge to reach a single plank further across, when a sickening, creaking noise beneath him changed his feelings from sadness to terror.

            "Aw, crap..." he breathed as the plank he was leaning on snapped beneath him. His hands flew out to grab the  next one over, but it was in vain. His fingers slipped and he dropped into the cold, deep rapids below.

Next Chapter up soon. Can't tell you what happens, I'm afraid. You just have to wait and see.


	13. Breathing

Thanks for the feedback for the last chapter. Nice to know you don't want to see Danny drown! I own him, Finn, Beth, Sarah and all the other characters you don't recognise.

Danny's still in the water, by the way. And this is a very long chapter.

Chapter 13:      Breathing

            "What the hell was that?" Auggie wondered out loud when he heard a splash. He and Scott dropped their tools and stood up to check what was happening. Finn and Ezra were on the other side of the river, carrying a pile of new planks over to the bridge, while Peter and Sophie were helping the girls set up camp. Shelby and Daisy were working on a fire, and Beth and Jules were working on a tent. There was someone missing.

            "Where's Danny?" Scott asked. Auggie shrugged nervously, and the two of them raced down towards the camp.

            "Peter," Auggie called. "You seen Danny anywhere?" Peter shook his head, but jumped to attention.

            "Where was he last?" the teacher asked.

            "He was working on the bridge," Scott answered. "One second he was there and the next..." Realisation hit them all at the exact same moment, and they raced out of the woods towards the river.

            "What are they all running for?" Ezra asked Finn as they continued to work. Finn didn't answer because at that moment, he saw Danny thrashing around in the water as the river carried him downward. Without hesitation, he ran towards the bank and dived in.

            "Oh, my God!" Ezra cried, waving wildly to Peter and the others. "He fell in, Peter! He's over there!" He pointed to Danny, who was going under the water again.

            "God, no!" Shelby screamed.

            "Peter, Danny can't swim," Scott exclaimed in a panic.

            "Scott, Auggie, come with me," Peter ordered. The three of them ran down the side of the river as fast as their legs would carry them. The other Cliffhangers followed closely behind.

            While all this was happening, Finn had paused in his swimming to look around the water, as he had lost sight of his target. Danny had gone under again, and hadn't come up in several seconds. Finally, Finn caught a glimpse of a blond head bobbing on the surface, completely motionless, but still being dragged downriver by the current. With all the energy he had, and fighting the unbearable cold, he swam towards Danny and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him towards the riverbank.

            "Finn's got him!" Peter shouted back to the girls. Scott waded a few feet into the water and helped Finn carry Danny's limp body out. As they laid him down on the ground, the Cliffhangers gathered around fearfully, Shelby and Beth both in tears, and all the others close to it. Danny was more pale than usual, and he wasn't breathing. He looked dead.

            "Stand back, everyone," Peter demanded, as he began to perform artificial respiration on the boy. As Scott held Shelby tightly, Beth watched in numb terror, memories of her brother's death flooding back in horrifying detail. _Not Danny,_ she prayed, hoping more than ever that God existed, and that he gave a damn about good people like Danny Merrick. _Please, I can't lose Danny. I can't!_

            "Don't you do this, Danny," Peter said quietly between puffs. For a long moment, nothing happened. Then, after what seemed like forever, Danny began to violently cough, bringing up water as he did. Not quite conscious yet, he thrashed wildly under Peter's touch, trying to scream through coughs. Peter cradled him gently to calm him, unable to stop a sob of relief coming out. He looked up at his wife and 'kids', and saw similar emotions running across their faces. That had been too damn close!

            "Easy, kid," Peter soothed, rubbing Danny's matted hair. "I got ya. You're okay." Danny slowly opened his eyes, looking totally bewildered and a little frightened. Shelby knelt next to him and hugged him tightly around the neck, crying freely. Having lost her brother once for sixteen years, she was damned if she was going to lose him again. Danny hugged her back as best he could, still looking stunned.

            "Damn, that was cold," he muttered, grateful for the warmth of his sister's embrace. He looked around at his friends' faces, feeling guilty for worrying them. They all looked really shaken, especially Beth, who was staring right at him, her face wet with tears. He tried to smile apologetically at her, but found that he couldn't keep his eyes on her for long. He looked away shamefully, and saw Finn sitting on the ground a couple of feet away from them. Like Danny, he was soaked and clearly freezing, with a trickle of blood falling from his injured forehead down the side of his wet face, but nobody was taking any heed of him.

            "Was it you?" Danny asked him. Finn looked up from the ground he was staring at, and the gang all turned to face him. He nodded, looking for no praise or glory from anyone.

            "I owe you one," Danny promised. Peter wrapped his jacket around Danny's shoulders, and Shelby and Scott got him by an arm each, leading him back towards the camp. Everyone began to follow, except for Peter and Finn. The boy was still sitting on the ground, catching his breath.

            "Are you okay?" Peter asked. He felt guilty for neglecting Danny's rescuer, but had been more concerned with the kid who had been carried out of the water, as opposed to the one who walked.

            "F-f-fine," Finn murmured, the cold triggering his speech impediment.

            "You're hurt," Peter said, noticing the blood on Finn's face. He moved forward to help, but Finn was having none of it.

            "I said I'm fine," he said, a little more sharply, then calmed again. "It's just a scrape." There was an uncomfortable pause, until Finn asked, "Shouldn't you ask kids if they can swim before you send them working twenty feet above a river? Just a thought."

            "That was a very brave thing you did, Finn," Peter declared. Finn shrugged nonchalantly. He wasn't comfortable in the hero role. It didn't suit him.

            "I mean it," Peter insisted. "And Danny Merrick's a man of his word. He'll find a way to pay you back."

            "Really?" Finn hissed. "Do you think he could get the Horizon Women's Rights Brigade off my back? It's driving me nuts."

            "You can understand their suspicion, Finn," Peter said, kneeling on the ground next to the trembling kid. "Some of them have been sexually assaulted, and what hurts one of them hurts them all. These kids can't afford to just give away trust. You have to earn it."

            "And what do I have to do to earn that trust?" Finn demanded.

            "Well, I know that Shelby would die for her brother, and the fact that you nearly did will definitely put her in your debt."

            "I only did..."

            "What anyone else would have done," Peter finished. "Of course. Except for the fact that nobody else did. Every single person over there loves Danny, and yet none of us could get past the terror that goes with seeing someone we care about fighting for their life. But you acted. They won't forget that."

            "Right," Finn muttered, trying unsuccessfully to stand. Peter held out his hand, and Finn reluctantly took it, letting the teacher pull him to his feet. Together, they walked towards the campsite.

                                                *                                  *                                  *

            "Anyone want another sausage?" Sophie asked the kids around the campfire. Everyone, even including Jules, took another helping of food – they had had a long day. Now wrapped in blankets, they were all prepared to settle down for a well-deserved night's sleep. Shelby moved from her place between Scott and Danny, and moved over to where Finn was sitting, still slightly distanced from the rest of the group.

            "You warming up?" she asked. Finn looked up at her, wondering if any harsh comments were coming.

            "Yeah, thanks," he muttered, partly expecting her testosterone junkie of a boyfriend to appear and beat him up just for talking to her.

            "Look," Shelby said, sitting next to him. "I don't know who or what you are exactly. I don't know if you're a rapist, or some guy who his name dragged through the mud. But I know that you just saved my brother's life, and he means more to me that I could ever explain. So what I'm trying to say is...thank you. And if there is ever anything you need, you can trust me to help you." Finn looked at her, searching for any falseness in her tone or expression, and could find none. He smiled slightly at her in appreciation, and she got up to go.

            "There's space closer to the fire," she said as she walked. "It's yours if you want it." Finn hesitated for a moment, but then he saw Ezra and Auggie waving for him to take the spare place between them.

            _What the hell,_ he thought to himself, and sat down with the group. Sophie passed him another sausage, and he drifted in and out of the Cliffhangers' conversation with relative ease.

            "Well, Danny," Scott said, leaning past Shelby to slap her brother on the back. "You've officially graduated from the Ezra Freidkin School of Swimming, with flying colours."

            "Meat's right, man," Auggie chimed in. "That's a hell of an accomplishment. You're like, the only two students to ever take a nosedive into that river. Nobody else is dumb enough, not even David!"

            "I hate you guys," Danny muttered.

            "Ah," Ezra sighed dramatically. "Morons like Danny and I are incredibly rare."

            "Thank God," David said smirking.

            "Hey, leave my brother alone," Shelby laughed, rubbing Danny's head. "He's been through hell. A very cold, wet hell."

            "I _really_ hate you guys," Danny said again, but this time, managed a smile. The good natured teasing continued for another few minutes, before Daisy presented her tarot cards.

            "I thought you trashed those," Ezra pointed out, very pleased that she hadn't. He had given her those cards, after all.

            "Ask no questions, Ezra," Daisy said, waving the pack slightly. "Who's first?" Nobody volunteered. Whether or not it was a coincidence, Daisy's last tarot predictions – a whole year earlier – had come true. None of the Cliffhangers wanted to get a bad card, just in case.

            "Scott?" Daisy said, zooming in on the group's leader. "I hope you're not chicken."

            "Absolutely not, Daise," Scott said, shifting forward slightly in the dirt. "Hit me." Daisy pulled out a card and placed it on the ground.

            "Strength," she announced, somewhat disappointed. "Leadership qualities, and the confidence that you can endure whatever comes. Not very exciting."

            "Hey, it suits me," Scott said, relieved he didn't get the infamous 'death' card or something. "Not that I believe in this crap or anything," he added, slightly defensive.

            "Of course not, sweetie," Shelby said sarcastically, patting Scott's arm. "Me next, Daisy. And if I get that damn Tower again, so help me God..."

            "Relax, Shelby," Daisy said, examining the card she had just pulled. "It's Temperance. You're going through a stage of healing. Good for you!" Daisy smirked as she dryly said that last bit. So far, these results weren't nearly as juicy as last time.

            "Beth," Daisy said, targeting her next victim. "You've been pretty quiet tonight. Let's see if your boyfriend's near death reveals something about your future." Daisy flipped a card, and Shelby and Jules both groaned when they saw what one it was.

            "The Tower," Shelby sighed. "Rather you than me, Beth."

            "What does that mean?" Beth asked, hiding her worry well.

            "Big change," Daisy said. "It could be good, or it could be bad. Sometimes it involves some monumental decision that has to be made, and other times there's nothing you can do but accept it."

            "Wonderful," Beth sighed, glancing at Danny. He was poking the fire with a stick absently, not appearing to be listening to the conversation at all, though Beth was certain he had heard every word. She wished she could understand him a little better. Sometimes it felt like they had been together a long time, and could figure out how the other thought and felt. But other times – the last few days especially – Danny Merrick was like a closed book. He had a horrible past that he never talked about, and Beth often worried that all that pain would soon spill out into his present and future. She wanted to be the one to help him, to comfort him, if and when that happened. Him nearly dying made her realize just how badly she wanted that. But since – for some reason – Danny wouldn't even look at her anymore, let alone hold or kiss her, that didn't seem likely.

            _Well, I'm not giving up just yet_, Beth thought, her eyes lingering on the brooding, troubled young man she cared so much about. _Now's not the right time, but we'll talk soon. If he asks me to, I'll stay. If not..._ Beth paused, refusing to let her finish that thought. She forced herself to remember Danny's tender moments towards her, like the way he kissed her for the first time. She knew full well – although he had never actually admitted it – that he had never kissed anyone before, and understood how terrified and nervous he must have been. But that didn't stop it being the most incredible moment of her life.

            _And I'll be damned if I give up on a guy who makes me feel like that_, she promised herself. Daisy noticed the way her roommate was looking at the younger Merrick twin, and grinned.

            "You're next, Danny boy," Daisy said slyly, plucking a card from the pack. She held it up so the whole group could see. Moon.

            "What's that mean?" Jules asked, more interested in Danny's fate than he was.

            "It means he's afraid," Daisy stated. "He's just found his way in life, and now he's losing it again. It'd scare anyone."

            "I'm not scared," Danny said through gritted teeth, his eyes still fixed on the dancing flames. "I don't even believe in this stuff, or anything else."

            "You have to believe in something, Danny," Peter pointed out from the far side of the camp, a bit surprised by the usually optimistic teen's statement. "Anything – God, Buddha...or if none of that's your cup of tea, then just simply believe in the people around you. Otherwise, life's not really worth living."

            "I wasn't aware that mine was, Peter," Danny muttered.

            "Danny!" Shelby cried, shocked and hurt at her brother's ignorance of his importance. Beth looked equally appalled, while most of the other kids just looked uncomfortable. Danny suddenly felt embarrassed, and tried to laugh.

            "Ignore me," he said softly, touching Shelby's arm. "I'm just tired. Something about being dragged along by a river that'll take it right out of you. I'm going to bed." Without another word, or even a glance at anyone else in the group, Danny got up and headed for his tent. After a few moments of confused and awkward silence, Sophie spoke.

            "Well," she began, clearing her throat. "You should all be doing the same. I want everyone in their tents in five minutes."

            "Time for one more victim," Daisy said in a mocking tone, eyeing the new kid. "What do you say, Finn? Want to see what fate has in store for you."

            "Why not?" Finn muttered. "Can't get much worse." Daisy pulled a final card, and hesitated before revealing it to the group. It was a common enough card, but it didn't seem to fit the profile of their resident attempted rapist.

            "What is it?" Auggie asked. Daisy slowly turned the card so the group could see.

            "The Lovers," Daisy said out loud, watching the sudden change in Finn's expression, before giving a more detailed description. "A deep love, or friendship, or both, between two people. A desire for intimacy, sexual or otherwise – not being together is agony. Without the other, one feels..."

            "Dead," Finn finished softly. "Helpless, alone, scared, insignificant, pained. Pick one."

            "You got something you want to share, Finn?" Sophie asked. "Now's as good a time as any." Finn looked up at the eager, curious faces looking back at him.

            "It's just..." the Irish kid began, scratching his short black hair uncomfortably. "You all think I've done something terrible, and I can't seem to convince you otherwise. But the truth is, I couldn't have done what she said I did, because I was in love with someone else. So badly. And I still am."

            "Sarah Bryce," Peter stated, correctly. Finn didn't answer, because he knew that Peter had already sussed out his relationship with Sarah. No point lying anymore.

            "Did you try and rape her too?" David demanded, but was quickly hushed by the others. This kid had saved Danny from certain death – the least they could do was listen to what he had to say.

            "No, I didn't," Finn said, too exhausted to care about what David said. "I didn't assault anyone. I don't know why I'm here, and I don't know why someone I considered a friend made this crap up about me. I know that I could never have done what they accused me of. Because that wouldn't only make me an asshole – it'd also mean I cheated on Sarah. And that was never an option. I've never wanted anyone else. Probably never will again either."

            The others sat in silence, digesting what Finn had said. Not only was that probably the most that many of them had ever heard him say, they could also never have imagined he could be that sincere. Either he was a very clever, very sick guy, or he was being completely honest.

            "Well, on that note," Peter announced. "Everyone get to bed. Finn, perhaps we can discuss this further in tomorrow's group meeting."

            "Thanks, Peter," Finn said. "But I have nothing else to say." As the kids all headed off to their tents, Peter and Sophie remained by the fire, thinking over the events of the day.

            "Why do we do this job, Sophie?" Peter asked his wife.

            "Because all kids need a chance," Sophie said. "They need people who won't turn their backs on them. They need people who'll love them, and help them. For these kids, those people are you and me."

            "I know," Peter sighed, putting his arm around her. "But thanks for reminding me."

Okay, that is officially the longest chapter I have written. Please let me know if you enjoyed it. Next one is a flashback – a little more Finn and Sarah stuff, but then a spanner gets thrown in the works.


	14. All Friends Here

Very sorry that this took so long, but my final exams are coming up, and my time is completely devoted to studying. On the plus side, seeing as how you guys seem to like long chapters, this one is...pretty damn long. I actually had to cut it in half. Enjoy! (this is the first of two/three flashbacks, by the way)

Chapter 14:      All Friends Here

            "Quitting time, Finn," Ned Jackson announced. "Let's get the hell out of here." Mr. Jackson actually loved his job as head carpenter at John Ebert's small shop, but even he sometimes got sick of the place. At 62, he had been working for John for over forty years, so by the end of each day, he was glad to be going home to his wife.

            "Yes, sir," Finn said obediently, shutting down his machine and brushing saw dust off his clothes. The seventeen-year-old apprentice had been working there part-time for four years, and Mr. Jackson had given up trying to get him to call him by his first name after about one and a half. The old man liked Finn, because he was a dedicated, hard-working kid with a nice personality. He never asked for a pay increase in four years – but had been given one anyway – and had also never stolen materials or cheated Ebert out of money. He didn't ask for more than the apprentice cut when one of his individual pieces sold, nor did he look around for better offers from other bigger furniture making businesses. Finn Maguire was a good kid, and in a few years, he would probably own the business.

            Mr. Jackson shut down all the machinery, and went to set the alarm, while Finn got the lights. They had worked into late evening this Saturday, and all Finn wanted to do was flop down on the couch with Sarah and watch some sitcom reruns. But Dean's parents were out of town, and he was throwing a party at his house. Finn didn't really want to go – and neither did Sarah – but as two of Dean's best friends, they had to at least make an appearance. As Finn and Mr. Jackson left the shop, Finn saw Sarah coming down the street.

            "Hey," he said, surprised and delighted to see her. "I thought I was picking you up at home."

            "And I thought I'd surprise you," Sarah said with a smile, and would have kissed him if it weren't for the elderly man awaiting an introduction. Finn noticed this too, and turned to Mr. Jackson.

            "Mr. Jackson, this is Sarah Bryce," he said, motioning at each of them as he said their names. "Sarah, this is my boss."

            "Nice to meet you," Sarah said politely, shaking Mr. Jackson's hand when he offered it.

            "And you," the old man said, then smiled slyly. "You his girlfriend?"

            "His best friend," Sarah corrected, glancing at Finn. It wasn't exactly a lie. She and Finn were still best friends. They still talked, shared things, ate their meals and did their homework together – none of that had changed. It was just what they did when nobody was looking that was different, and wonderful.

            "Well," Mr. Jackson said, looking from one kid to the other like he didn't quite buy that. "I'm sure you have some young-person thing to do that I wouldn't understand or approve of, so goodnight. See you Monday at five, Finn."

            "Goodnight, sir," Finn said, walking around the side of the workshop towards the street with Sarah. When he was certain that Mr. Jackson was gone, and that there was nobody else around, he grabbed Sarah's hand and pulled her in for a kiss, which she gladly reciprocated. He tried to put his arms around her, but she reluctantly pulled away from him.

            "We should go," she said. "Dean will be wondering where we are."

            "Screw Dean," Finn whispered. "I haven't seen you all day."

            "Well, that's what you get for working such bad shifts. You made your bed, Maguire."

            "Oh, Sarah," Finn teased, grinning. "You don't know what it does to me when you say the word 'bed.' Makes my knees go weak!"

            "Perv!" Sarah cried, punching his chest. She leaned forward and gave him one more kiss, then softly said, "We'll only stay for a couple of hours, then we'll go home, watch a movie. Just the two of us." Finn sighed, knowing he was beaten, and let go of her, and they continued walking along as if they were still 'just good friends.'

            It wasn't that Finn and Sarah were ashamed of their relationship – they could never be ashamed of something that made them both so happy – but they knew that their circumstances were not ideal. Sarah's parents had taken a huge chance taking in the Maguire boys six years earlier, recently orphaned children, the eldest of whom suffered serious physical abuse at the hands of his last guardian. And when word came that Uncle Patrick had died, Joe and Grace were determined not to let these boys be separated, and pleaded their case to Social Services.

            However, these young Irish boys came with a great deal of baggage, one in particular. The Bryces had been advised against keeping the emotionally damaged Finn Maguire on a long-term basis, as he was still in great pain over his parents' deaths, not to mention the severe beatings and verbal attacks he got from his uncle. He rarely spoke – extremely self-conscious about his strong foreign accent and nervous stammer – and when he did speak, it was mostly in incoherent mumbles. Also, they had been warned, things could get complicated when Finn and their daughter were in their teens, hormones and all. But Mr. and Mrs. Bryce were already starting to love the quiet, troubled, yet kind boy – and his brothers – like their own, and welcomed them into their home. He gradually adjusted to family life, managed to get his stammer under control, and built up his confidence. What's more, his relationship with Sarah had always been completely innocent.

            Until now. Finn had suffered quietly from his love for Sarah for years, and would have continued to do so for the rest of his life if he needed to. But knowing that Sarah felt something for him too made it much harder to stay away. But they both knew that, as much as Sarah's parents loved them both, they might not be happy with this new 'development.' They could condemn their relationship and ban them from being together. Worst of all, they could completely lose it and send Finn away. That thought terrified them both, because it meant Finn would lose everything – his brothers, his loving foster parents, and the girl who meant more to him than anything. Then again, Joe and Grace could be delighted that their daughter and foster son found two people who love them – each other – and might give them their blessing. Either way, Finn and Sarah knew that they couldn't keep this a secret for much longer, and would have to tell the Bryces and the younger Maguire boys the truth soon.

                                                *                                              *                                              *

            "Maguire, you're late!" Seb shouted over the loud rock music. Finn and Sarah made their way past the crowd of teenagers that had gathered at Dean's house, as Seb threw an arm around each of their shoulders. He was already a bit drunk, and when that happened, he loved to hug everyone.

            "Quite a turnout, huh?" Seb continued, motioning to the huge numbers of kids around the place, talking, dancing, drinking or making out. Finn knew all their faces and many of their names. Seb handed Sarah a drink, and offered Finn one, but he declined. Sarah drank little, and Finn, not at all. He would never admit it, but Sarah knew it was because of his Uncle Patrick. Finn's father Liam had trusted his absent brother to mind his children if anything ever happened to him and his wife. But in the time between Patrick's emigration and Liam's death, the younger man had succumbed to alcohol. Finn wasn't naïve enough to think that social drinking would turn him into an alco, and never judged anyone else for doing so, but personally steered clear of the stuff.

            "Sarah!" a voice called from the kitchen. Sarah looked in and saw Amanda waving at her excitedly. Sarah smiled at Finn, brushed his arm lightly with her hand – too brief and innocent for Seb to notice – and left to join her best female friend. Finn watched her go, pretending to listen to Seb's appraisal of some nearby girl's ass, but really observing that, even in a large crowd of teenaged girls, Sarah Bryce was the only one he could see.

            "Sarah, I'm having such a good time!" Amanda squealed, wrapping her friend in a hug. She then grabbed the guy next to her, and introduced him as her date, Mike. He was a guy that Sarah had seen around school – a basketball player with a short fuse and an endless capacity for booze – and Sarah wasn't sure if he was the kind of guy Amanda should get involved with, but knew her friend well enough to know that no amount of gentle nagging would dissuade her once she got fixated on a guy. She would just have to make her own mistakes.

            _Besides,_ Sarah thought._ She probably only brought him to make Dean jealous...and speak of the devil._

            "Ladies," Dean announced, draping an arm across Sarah's shoulder. "Can I get either of you a drink?"

            "I have one, thanks," Sarah said, raising her paper cup, and quietly added, "And considering it's not even ten yet, I think Amanda's had enough." Dean glanced in Amanda's direction, and saw her giggling uncontrollably at something her date had said, before tugging him away by the shirt, presumably to find a dark corner somewhere.

            "Agreed," Dean said. "Considering that guy has less personality than the vomit that Amanda will eventually spew on his shirt."

            "Thank you for that image, Dean," Sarah said grimacing. "You really know how to push all the right buttons, don't you?"

            "Only with certain girls," Dean said slyly, giving Sarah that look he had been giving her for several months now. _Aw, crap,_ she thought to herself in exasperation._ Here he goes again._

            "Sarah, why did we ever break up?" he asked her for about the thousandth time that year.

            "I think breaking up requires more than one date, Dean," Sarah replied sweetly, then briskly changed the subject. The last thing she wanted was for Dean to think she was flirting with him, especially now that she and Finn were...whatever it was she and Finn were.

            "So, what grade did you get on your woodshop project?" she asked in mock innocence, referring to the spice rack that Finn had completed for him. Dean laughed.

            "B minus," he said. "My highest, Finn's lowest. Dunno what happened to him."

            "I do," Sarah replied. "He threw it down the stairs to give it a more amateurish look. Didn't want the teacher getting suspicious."

            "He's quite a pal," Dean said, in a tone that sounded genuine. "Isn't he?"

            "The best," Sarah replied, giving nothing away. She was about to excuse herself to go looking for him when she heard Amanda's voice screaming at someone to get away from her. She and Dean bolted into the living room, to find Amanda and her date in the middle of a huge argument.

            "I said get lost, you creep!" Amanda spat angrily, punching the guy's chest. The jock was starting to lose his temper, drawing back his hand...only for Finn to catch it before it reached Amanda.

            "You don't want to do that, mate," Finn said in a stern, quiet voice. This guy was at least four inches taller and about a foot wider than Finn, but for the life of him, he couldn't get the Irish kid to loosen his grip on his arm.

            "Get the hell out before we kick your ass," Dean threatened, standing next to the guy, with Seb on the other side.

            "There's no need for that," Finn said, never taking his eyes off Mike. "He's leaving." Mike didn't even have to look at Dean and Seb to be intimidated. He relaxed his clenched fist and when Finn let him go, he stormed out. The three boys then headed over to the other side of the room, where Sarah was now comforting Amanda.

            "You okay?" Finn asked, bending down in front of the two girls.

            "I'm fine," Amanda muttered. Over the racket, Dean's phone rang. He excused himself and went to answer it.

            "Liar, you're shaking," Seb said to Amanda. "Someone should take you home."

            "I said I was fine," Amanda insisted.

            "What the hell happened, anyway?" Sarah demanded gently.

            "He wanted to go upstairs," Amanda explained shamefully. "When I told him I wasn't in the mood, he freaked..."

            "Don't worry, Amanda," Seb promised. "He won't come back. Finny Boy made sure of that." He slapped Finn's back for effect.

            "Well, it looks like the steroid king had the right idea," Dean said, coming back to his friends. He didn't look happy. "Some old hag down the street called the cops. Apparently we're disturbing the peace. Sorry guys, but it looks like I'm going to have to break this up."

            "Great," Seb muttered, downing the last of his beer. Finn and Sarah said nothing – now they had an excuse to take off!

            "Amanda's in no condition to go home alone," Dean said, pointing to the rather drunk, shaken girl.

            "I'm still here, you know," Amanda huffed.

            "He's right," Finn agreed, ignoring Amanda's whining. "Besides, that guy could still be hanging around."

            "Well, you scared him more than we did, Finn," Dean pointed out. "Maybe you should take her." Finn hesitated – friend or not, Amanda was not the girl he wanted to walk home.

            "That's probably a good idea," Seb said, and then turned to Sarah. "I've my bike with me, so I can drop you home if you want. Save you walking."

            "That'd be great, thanks, Seb," Sarah said, glancing at Finn. She'd much rather go home with him, but they didn't want to raise suspicion. Finn shrugged discretely, and then helped Amanda to her feet.

            "Come on," he sighed. "Let's go."

Hope you enjoyed. Next one will be up very soon. Finn and Sarah share a tender moment, but not before he is propositioned by Amanda. All in the next chapter. Please R&R.


	15. Three Words

Sorry it's been so long between updates. The truth is, I've been doing my Leaving Certificate, which, as any Irish teen will tell you, is the be all and end all of our education. Or at least, that's what our parents and teachers want us to believe. What college I get into relies entirely on these exams, so I really didn't have time for this story. But they're finished now, and although I have a nine-to-five job for the summer, I'm making time for the Cliffhangers.

Chapter 15:      Three Words

            "Thanks for walking me home, Finn," Amanda mumbled. "I feel like an idiot now." She was gripping Finn's arm – possibly to keep from falling over – and they had just arrived at her front door.

            "No problem," Finn said. "Besides, Sarah would have killed me if I hadn't." He was about to say his goodnights until Amanda touched his arm lightly.

            "Would you..." she began, then shook her head. "Never mind."

            "What?" Finn pressed, knowing that she was uncomfortable about something.

            "Do you think you could stick around for a few minutes?" Amanda asked sheepishly. "Just in case...he comes back?" Finn hesitated, and Amanda shook her head again.

            "Forget it," she said laughing. "It's the drink talking."

            "Just for a few," Finn heard himself saying. "If he doesn't show up by then, he isn't likely to."

            "Thanks, Finn," Amanda said sweetly, with a grin that would turn most teenaged boys to putty. Finn Maguire wasn't most teenaged boys, so he just smiled modestly as Amanda let him in, leading him to the kitchen.

            "Can I get you a drink?" she asked. "My parents have an endless supply of whiskey. I know you Irish like that."

            "I've been in the States too long," Finn joked. "I've gone off it. And I think you've had enough."

            "God, Finn," Amanda said. "You're always so worked up. I mean, even when you're kidding around, you're still somehow deadly serious. The only time you ever relax is with Sarah." Amanda looked right at him as she said the name of their mutual friend, but Finn just shrugged.

            "That's the way I am," he said simply, leaning on the kitchen counter. Amanda watched him for a moment – looking him over, nearly – and smiled in a way that, for some reason, made Finn uncomfortable.

            "But it's also the reason you've never had a girlfriend," she told him, moving forward slowly. "I mean, you've a lot going for you. You've a good personality, cute accent, you're smart...you're in pretty good shape too, if you don't mind my saying so."

            "Thanks," Finn mumbled, head down. _If only you knew, Amanda,_ he thought to himself, knowing full well that a girl like Amanda would be repulsed by the damage that had been done to his body. _Sarah probably would be too._

            "You've got the whole self-deprecation thing working for you too," Amanda continued in a low voice. "Which can be pretty sexy in some guys." Now Finn was really feeling awkward. Amanda had never been as forward as this with him before, and Finn couldn't remember any time when they'd ever been alone together.

            Before Finn could finish figuring out what Amanda was playing at, her lips were pressing against his, and he was caught very tightly between her body and the wall behind him. It took him less than a second to realise what the hell was happening, and he gently – but firmly – pushed her away.

            "Amanda," he said as kindly as he could, although he was both embarrassed and angered by her actions. "I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but this isn't going to happen."

            "Nobody would have to know Finn," Amanda insisted softly, touching his face. "Not even Sarah. It could be our little secret." She leaned forward to kiss him again, but he wasn't having any of it.

            "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I think you're great, but I really can't."

            "Because of Sarah?" Amanda asked, although it wasn't really a question.

            "Because of a lot of things," Finn said carefully.

            "Because of Sarah," Amanda said again, more certain this time. "We all know you love her, Finn. It's pretty obvious." She stepped back, laughing uncomfortably.

            "I'm sorry," she said shyly. "I'm still really drunk, but that's no excuse. You must think I'm such a slut."

            "I don't think that," Finn said. "And I really do think you're great, but...yeah, Sarah is..."

            "You don't have to explain yourself to me," Amanda told him sweetly. "And Sarah's my best friend. I'd never do anything to hurt her. So, can we keep this between us, for now at least? Please?" Finn didn't want to lie to Sarah, and though he had not been unfaithful to her, keeping quiet still felt like a betrayal. But when he saw the desperate look on Amanda's face, he felt very sorry for her.

            "Okay," he agreed, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of there. "I better go." They shared a quick and awkward hug goodbye, before Finn headed for the door and made his way home. When he arrived at the house, it was quiet. On the kitchen table, he found a note:

            Sarah and Finn, gone to a party at the Lloyds. Shay's staying with friends, Connor and Anna are asleep. There's some chicken left over in the fridge. Love you guys, Mom and Dad.

            Finn smiled at the note. Grace and Joe always wrote 'Mom and Dad' on things like that, and it was never directed solely at Sarah. Little Conn had accidentally called Grace mom more than once, and Grace was neither upset by the childlike error, nor did she presume it would happen again. Similarly, Joe always accompanied Shay on any father-son excursions his school was throwing. And Finn, though he held the memory of his parents a bit tighter than the younger boys, was more grateful than he could ever express for the unconditional love and care that the Bryces had shown them. As far as he was concerned, Finn Maguire had two sets of parents, and loved them equally.

            He moved from the kitchen to the living room, and found a sight that could have made his heart melt. Sarah was lying on the couch, sound asleep, a lock of hair falling across her face. He moved quietly towards her and sat on the floor, watching her closely. He wholeheartedly believed he could have watched sleep till morning and never grow tired of it. But when he carefully brushed her hair out of her face, her eyes fluttered open.

            "Hey," she said softly, smiling at him. _Jesus, but she's beautiful._

            "Hey," he said back, kissing her cheek. "Sorry I'm late. You didn't have to wait up."

            "What took you so long?" she asked tiredly. He was about to tell her, but decided against it. He remembered what Amanda had asked him to do, and as much as he hated lying to Sarah, he didn't want to upset her. He'd wait to get the okay from Amanda, and tell her then.

            "Too boring to tell you now," he said, getting off the subject quickly. "I'm making a sandwich. You want one?"

            "No thanks," she declined. "Your culinary skills suck."

            "Oh, thanks very much!" Finn muttered, pretending to be hurt. "Love ya too, babe!" He stood up, tossing a cushion at her as he went into the kitchen. He had the bread and butter taken out before he saw that Sarah had followed him in, and was standing at the door, watching him.

            "You meant it," Sarah said softly. Finn knew immediately what she was talking about – she had heard him say he loved her. He had been trying to tell her for a while now, but shyness and nerves had held him back. He was scared that his stammer would return and make it impossible for him to get those three simple words out.

            _And I decide that sarcasm is the way to a girl's heart. Christ, I'm dumb!_

            "Yeah," he mumbled, suddenly feeling very shy. Sarah slowly walked forward until she was standing right in front of him. Her face gave him no idea as to what she might be thinking.

            "Will you say it again, please?" she asked finally. Finn chewed his lower lip tensely, feeling it tremble between his teeth. He looked at his shoes, as if he'd find the words down there. He had said it the first time without stuttering, but he wasn't sure if he could do it again. Then he realized he didn't have to think of anything groundbreakingly romantic. He just had to be honest. He looked directly into her eyes, and took a deep breath.

            "I love you," he said in as confident a voice as he could muster. For another long moment, Sarah said nothing. Then gradually, a smile spread across her face, and Finn could feel his heart jump.

            "I love you," she whispered back. And there it was. The truth they had both been hoping for, for so long. They loved each other, and knowing that, there was much more at stake. They smiled broadly at each other, barely able to believe what the other had said. Then Finn cupped Sarah's face and they kissed.

            "Then," Finn said when they parted, his voice serious. "We need to tell your parents, and the boys. I don't want to keep hiding this."

            "Me neither," Sarah agreed. "It's too important. They need to know, and they need to hear it from us." She paused for a moment, suddenly worried. "How do you think they'll take it?"

            "It could go either way," Finn admitted, taking her hands. "But whatever happens, we'll deal with it together."

Sorry it took so long to update. Is the whole story of Finn getting to Horizon starting to make a bit more sense? There'll be one more flashback in this 'section' and then back to Horizon. Next chapter: Finn experiences every man's nightmare.


	16. One Girl's Lies

How's it going folks! Finally updated again, which took longer than I had hoped, because I got my Leaving Cert results – 500 pts. Now I know that means nothing to the non-Irish on this site, but basically it means I'll probably get the degree course I want (Communications) which will hopefully get me started on more of the stuff I want to do – writing, directing etc. so I'm happy! And when I'm happy, the Cliffhangers get the attention they deserve.

I own everyone in this chapter – it's still a flashback. To remind you what's happening, Sarah's friend Amanda made a pass at Finn, which he turned down, and he and Sarah admitted that they loved each other. The shit is about to hit the fan.

Chapter 16: One Girl's Lies

Sarah was down for breakfast early the next morning. She normally slept in on Sundays, but she had been wide awake most of the night before, a thousand different thoughts running through her head. She had been stunned by Finn's confession – stunned and delighted. She had had boyfriends before, but none of them were ever serious enough to tell her they were in love with her. More importantly, she had never loved any of them either. She never imagined that the right guy for her was the one who had been there for her all along.

At the same time, she was terrified. She was a sensible girl, and she was well aware that relationships between seventeen-year-olds rarely lasted. That wouldn't have bothered her so much if Finn had not been such a central part of her life before they even got together. His brothers were her brothers, and her parents were his parents. More than that, they were best friends, and knew more about each other than anyone else. If this didn't work out, would they be able to hold onto their friendship?

And then there was the issue of her parents and the Maguire boys. If they couldn't deal with this, Finn and Sarah were going to have some difficult choices to make. Was she going to have to give up the first guy she had ever been in love with so soon?

When she walked into the kitchen, she was surprised to see that Finn was already up too, making a huge breakfast. She went over to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"Morning," she whispered, and he turned his head to kiss her. "What you doing?"

"Well," he began. "I started making myself breakfast. Then I started making breakfast for you. And then, I thought to myself, 'Joe really loves how I cook sausages, and Grace is partial to my black pudding..."

"Pig's blood," Sarah grimaced. "Gross!"

"So I started making breakfast for them," Finn continued. "And then I figured I'd treat Anna to some eggs, and after that, well, I couldn't leave my own brothers going hungry."

"So you started breakfast for one, and you ended up making breakfast for seven," Sarah summarised. Finn considered that for a moment.

"And your poor mother does this every day!" he realised out loud. "God, she's a saint." He turned away from his frying and enveloped Sarah in a warm hug, which she gladly reciprocated.

"I could get used to this," she told him.

"Me too," he said, and drew back slightly to face her. "I meant what I said last night, Sarah. You know that, right?"

"I know it," Sarah assured him, looking straight into his green eyes. "And so did I. So we're going to tell them?"

"Yeah," Finn said. "Your parents first, to find out if they're okay with it. Then we'll tell Shay and Conn. Anna already had her suspicions."

"Grams knew before we did," Sarah pointed out. "And she knows full well that there's something going on with us now."

"I wonder if she knows whether or not your parents will throw me out," Finn said, only half-joking.

"You're really worried about upsetting them, aren't you?" Sarah asked, concern evident in her tone.

"Aren't you?" Finn countered. "They've been great to me. I don't want to disappoint them."

"Think about it, Finn," Sarah explained. "Grams raised Dad – she knows how his mind works. She knows how protective he is of me...and you. If she thought he'd be angry at us being together, she wouldn't have encouraged us to go for it."

"You think so?" Finn was slightly reassured.

"Yes, I do. He loves both of us, and so does Mom. The worst that will happen is that they'll keep a closer eye on our bedroom doors from now on." She kissed him then, hoping to end the discussion.

"And the boys?" Finn asked, pulling away.

"What goes on between you and me is not going to change how either of us feel about the boys," Sarah said, slightly irritated by her boyfriend's stressing. "They're smart kids, they'll understand. And Conn will be down in about three minutes, Shay will be home in five, so let's please make the most of our time." Finn didn't need to be told twice, and leaned in for another kiss.

"So," Finn said, almost coyly, when they parted again. "What are you doing later? We could grab a pizza, movie, whatever you want."

"Finn Maguire," she began, an amused look on her face. "Are you asking me out?"

"Are you saying yes?" Finn countered, well aware that he had no idea what he was doing. He wasn't well practiced in the art of asking girls out. "It'll be fun. I'll even wear a fresh shirt."

"Don't go overboard, Casanova," Sarah laughed, and then smiled at him. "Ask me again when we get this over with."

"Good," Finn said. "That'll give me time to think of a good chat-up line." He paused for a moment, and then tried the first one that came into his head. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"  
  
"Won't work on someone you've lived with for six years," she told him, rolling her eyes. "Something along the lines of 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' might work better. Either that or 'Your skirt would look great on my bedroom floor.'"

"I think I should be taking notes," Finn muttered, earning himself a playful punch on the arm, and an apologetic kiss on the lips.

"Something smells good," they heard Grace call from the stairs. Finn quickly went back to his frying, while Sarah moved subtly across the room, greeting her mother with a hug.

"Finn's making us all breakfast," Sarah told her, motioning to her busy foster brother as she stated the obvious.

"That's a lovely thought, Finn," Grace said, tousling the boy's hair. "Are you making black pudding?"

"Course," Finn said with a grin. "Sit down and I'll bring it over." He began tossing the various foods onto plates when Joe came in, patting the boy on the back in appreciation.

"Nice, son," he said, helping Finn carry the plates to the table. "Good thing we put 'must be a good cook' in the job description."

"Dad, your jokes suck," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. Finn sat next to her, and they looked at each other, silently agreeing that it was time to come clean.

"Um…Joe, Grace," Finn began, clearing his throat. "Sarah and I...we have something we want to talk to you about." Joe and Grace looked up from their plates, looks of panic on both their faces.

"Is something wrong, kiddo?" Joe questioned, his brow furrowed.

"What happened?" Grace asked frightfully. Finn realised then how worried he must have sounded, and tried to relax his tone.

"No, no," he cut in quickly. "It's nothing bad..." He paused, glancing at Sarah. "Is it?"

"No!" Sarah insisted, then turned to her parents. "No, it's nothing bad. It's just that Finn and I are..." She was interrupted by the doorbell, and it took all their willpower for her and Finn to avoid swearing.

"Hold that thought, honey," Joe said, getting up to answer the door. Finn buried his face in his hands, wanting to just get this over with. Then, he heard whoever was at the door mentioning his name. The person – a man – referred to him as Finian Maguire, his real first name, which nobody had used since his dealings with Social Services. Suddenly concerned, he joined Joe at the door, and was shocked to see two police officers standing there.

"Finian Maguire?" the first cop stated dryly. Finn nodded, looking to Joe for an explanation.

"Mr. Maguire," the cop continued. "A serious allegation has been made against you. We need you to come with us for questioning. Are you a minor?"

"Yes, he's seventeen," Joe said, answering for Finn, who had gone white. "I'll come with you." He grabbed two coats, handing one to his foster son, and the two of them headed out to the car. As he was driven away, Finn caught a glimpse of Sarah and her mother standing at the door, watching in total confusion and fear.

_What the hell is going on?_ Finn wondered.

Next chapter up soon – back to Horizon, with more of Danny's angst. Please R&R. Is it starting to make a bit more sense?

By the way, has anyone here seen The Notebook. I nearly burst out laughing in the first five minutes when a couple called Fin and Sarah are introduced. My friends thought I was insane!


	17. A Burning Silence

I own Danny, Beth and Finn. Nobody else in this chapter belongs to me (except for a brief mention of Finn's family).

This is probably the hardest chapter I have had to write so far, for any of my stories. Not really sure if I'm happy with how it's turned out, and it's a little long, so please be sure to let me know what you guys think.

Chapter 17: Burning Silence

There were collective sighs of relief all round as the Cliffhangers dropped their heavy hiking packs after the long, difficult walk back to campus. The boys had only half-finished their punishment, but Danny's accident had earned them an early release. Danny and Finn had been in the icy waters for a couple of minutes, and the walk back to camp in their soaking clothes had taken several more, and Peter didn't want to risk them catching something.

"I call the first shower," Jules groaned, sitting down on a tree stump.

"I'll join you," David said, and was promptly thumped across the head by Auggie. Luckily for him, Peter and Sophie didn't see.

"One more crack like that," Auggie warned, his voice a low growl that would make even the toughest street punks cautious of the little guy. "And you ain't gonna live to graduation."

"Ignore him, mate," Finn muttered. "He's not worth the shuns." Auggie relaxed, surprised at the calming influence of this strange Irish kid. Over the last two days, the group had kind of warmed to Finn. He had a trustworthy 'feel' to him, and had claimed to be in love with some girl that wasn't the one he supposedly attacked. Also, he had risked his life to save Danny's, which put him in the debt of all his friends.

"Danny, Finn," Sophie called. "You two are spending the night in the infirmary. You're under the doctor's careful surveillance until we're sure you haven't caught pneumonia or something."

"Would you provide _me_ with the same tender, loving care if I had fallen in, Soph?" David wondered, raising an eyebrow flirtatiously at his disgusted teacher.

"We would have left _you_ to drown, Ruxton," Ezra muttered, earning a laugh from the other kids. As the group made their way towards the dorms, Danny and Finn headed towards the infirmary, with Finn walking a few steps ahead of his oddly sullen classmate. When he looked back, he noticed that Beth was walking alongside Danny, saying something to him, and quickly upped his pace. Whatever was going to be said between them was no business of his.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Beth asked, full of concern.

"I'm fine," Danny mumbled, looking at his feet as he walked. "I just need some rest. I hit my knee in the water, and it's been killing me the whole hike back..." He was rambling, just like he had when he was arrested and Curtis had questioned him. He talked non-stop about the weather when Curtis had asked for the thousandth time what his name was. Rambling was one of his two techniques of avoiding telling people the truth. His other was to stay silent altogether, but he knew he couldn't fob Beth off with that. What he didn't realise was that she was well familiar with his talking trick too.

"Danny," she interrupted, wishing he would stop walking for two seconds and look at her. "Roger just told me that my parents phoned while we were away." She paused for a moment, and then continued, "They're coming to get me tomorrow."

_Tomorrow!?_ The words cut Danny deep, but his pace barely slowed. He buried his hands deep in his pockets, hunching his shoulders, biting down hard on his lower lip to stop it trembling. Beth watched him, none of his movements obvious enough for her to detect what he was really feeling.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Danny," she stated, waiting for a response, before blurting out, "Do you even care?"

"It's the best thing, I guess," Danny said, hardly glancing at her. "You'll be at your old school, with your old friends. You already got in to college, so there's no worries there..."

"But what do _you_ want," she demanded, catching him by the arm and forcing him to face her. "Do you want me to stay?" _I will if you want me to,_ she didn't add._ I'll stay to be with you, Danny. And if you care as much about me as I do about you, please tell me!_

"It's not my decision," Danny said. "It's your life." He could hear those annoying voices in his head – one of which belonged to her father – that he always heard when he felt worthless. _What the hell can you give her, boy? She's a smart, gorgeous girl with the world at her feet, and you're an almost-illiterate halfwit with way too much emotional baggage. Ten years time, she and her wealthy husband will come into the gas station where you scrape together a living, and she won't even recognise you as you pump petrol into her Land Rover. Let her go now, because you know it's only a matter of time before she lets you go._

"But if..." Beth began, but Danny didn't let her finish.

"I don't care what you do," he snapped, being as harsh as he could, deliberately pushing her away. "Like I said, it's your life. Makes no difference to me." He mumbled a goodbye of sorts, before storming off again. This time, Beth didn't follow him, unwilling to let him see the tears that had started to roll down her face. He had made his choice, and in so doing, had made hers for her. Wiping her damp cheeks briskly, she went back to her dorm to pack.

As he was approaching the infirmary, Danny passed one of the Ridge Runners that he and the guys had played football against last year. He knew that despite Peter's best efforts, the guy ran an admittedly pathetic black market, and was good for contraband. Danny knew exactly what he was after.

"Greg, right?" he called as the guy passed him, trying to keep his cool. "I need a favour."

* * *

Finn found the infirmary much more peaceful than the boys' dorm. There were only three beds – one was empty, and he and Danny occupied the other two. No insults or punches were being thrown back and forth; in fact, Danny hadn't said a word since he followed Finn into the infirmary after a few minutes. Finn figured his talk with Beth mustn't have been a happy one. Plus, Danny had been on edge for days, and according to Ezra, had 'reverted back to John Doe.' Finn didn't really know what that meant, but didn't give it too much talk.

Because his sole roommate was now so silent – and less likely to attack him in his sleep than the other Cliffhangers had originally been – Finn found he got a much better rest than he had had in his whole time at Horizon. The first time he woke was at two-thirty in the morning, when he realised he had to pee. On his return from the bathroom, he saw through the dim light from outside that Danny's bed was empty.

"Danny?" he called softly, then again, slightly louder. When he was certain that Danny was not in the infirmary, he opened the window above his bed and crept around the school grounds.

"Danny, come on, mate," he hissed, unable to hear anything but the crackling of the gravel beneath his feet, and the water of the lake lapping against the shore. "You'll be in the shits if Peter catches you." He searched for a few more minutes, before – to his enormous relief – he saw a figure sitting by the side of the lake. On closer inspection, he saw that it was indeed Danny, but was dismayed to see a shoulder bottle of vodka in his hand, already almost empty.

"Ah, Jesus, Danny..." Finn began. Danny looked up, squinting through the darkness and drunkenness to recognise his roommate.

"Hey, top o' the evening, Maguire!" he laughed, raising his bottle in some sort of salute. "I'd offer you a drop, but I don't have much to spare." He examined the bottle carefully. "Boru...hey, it's Irish, like you!"

"Where the hell did you get that?" Finn demanded. He was amazed that, with the amount Danny had drunk, he hadn't passed out or thrown up yet, and hadn't used a mixer for his vodka. Clearly, for all his innocence, the kid had done this before.

"Ask no questions," Danny muttered, and Finn noticed for the first time how slurred his speech was. Although money was pretty useless in Horizon, Danny knew that the twenty bucks his mother had given him would come in handy. Living on the streets for so long, the young Merrick boy had often shared park bench space with homeless people and rummies, many of whom would share their alcohol with him on cold nights. Danny preferred whiskey, but beggars – literally, in Danny's case – couldn't be choosers. The vodka was starting to make him nice and numb, if only physically, but that would do for now.

_They don't even allow sodas in this place,_ Finn thought to himself. He went to help Danny to his feet, but was pushed away, violently.

"Let me enjoy this, man," he ordered. "I haven't had one of these in over a year. It's a nice, crisp evening, isn't it? The weather's been pretty lousy these last few weeks, but hopefully we'll be seeing some changes in the coming months. Less rain, more sunshine, and happy faces all around." He took another slug of the vodka, most of it sliding down his chin.

"Danny, what is this...?" Finn began, but Danny interrupted.

"Take the hint, Finn. When John Doe starts talking weather, it means he ain't gonna to talk about anything else. That's me, by the way, John Doe."

"Yeah, I figured," Finn sighed, running a hand over his head, barely noticing that his hair had grown back almost to the width of his fingers. He looked at Danny, watching him down the vodka as fast as his system would allow him, and he felt terribly sorry for the poor guy. He wondered briefly if Uncle Patrick was ever like this – an angry, confused kid who had been royally screwed by the world. Someone who felt he couldn't talk to anyone about his problems, so gradually turned to drink to dull the pain.

_Well, I'll be damned if I'm going to let Danny turn into Uncle Patrick,_ Finn decided, but knew he wasn't going to get a word of the truth out of Danny without some reinforcements. And there was only one person Finn could think of who knew Danny well enough to break through to him.

"Stay right there," he told his friend, but knew that the kid probably couldn't stand up. "I'll be right back."

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what the hell this is all about!?"

"Come on, Shelby. I can't really explain right now." Standing outside the girls' dorm, Finn had spent nearly five minutes tapping on the glass trying to get someone's attention. Luckily for him, the one person to wake to the noise was Danny's sister. He didn't know how he'd have explained his presence otherwise. _I've only just managed to convince everyone I'm not a pervert!_

"Finn..."

"Shelby, it's three in the morning," Finn interrupted. "Do you honestly think I'd be here if I didn't have a good reason? Now, keep it down or you'll wake the others." Without another word, Shelby threw on a sweater and her sneakers and crept out the door. She followed the newbie down to the dock and was shocked to see her twin brother vomiting in the lake. Upon hearing footsteps, Danny looked up, and an expression of pure shame crossed his face when he saw his sister.

"Aw, shit," he slurred, covering his face with his hands. Shelby went over to him and knelt beside him. Finn discretely stepped back a few feet, uncertain whether he should stay or go.

"Danny, what've you done?" Shelby scolded gently.

"I've messed up," Danny answered, his voice muffled through his hands. "I've messed everything up, Shelby."

"Okay," Shelby said, giving Finn a baffled, worried look. She knew that there had been something wrong with Danny the last few days. Ever since she saw him sprinting across campus with a terrified look on his face, like he was running away from something. When he ran into her, he seemed so relieved to have found a friendly face that he abruptly – and inexplicably – hugged her, tightly and desperately. He had only ever embraced her like that once before, when Scott beat him up, and she knew it was more out of fear and need than affection. She just had no idea what was upsetting him this time. "Just tell me what you've done, and we'll find a way to fix it, okay? You and me."

Listening in, Finn was touched by this interaction between siblings. Shelby may have appeared to be tough as nails, but when it came to Danny, she showed nothing but love. As an older brother himself, Finn could appreciate her protectiveness. He thought for a moment of Shay and Conn, wondering if they were okay. He had received a few letters from them, but it was hard to decipher any important message from them. Were they frightened on their own, was their brother's 'incarceration' earning them bullying? Finn had no idea, and it worried the hell out of him. Shelby's expression at that moment matched the feeling in the pit of Finn's stomach every day.

"Danny, please," Shelby whispered. "Tell me what's wrong. It can't be that bad."

"It is," Danny mumbled, shaking his head, slowing letting his hands drop, letting his mask fall. "It really is. Beth...she's leaving. Tomorrow."

"Oh, Danny," Shelby sighed. "I'm sorry." She paused, considering suggesting a long-distance relationship, but knew that Danny wouldn't go for that. Just like she hadn't when Scott had suggested it for them.

"I don't know what to do, Shel," Danny admitted sadly. "I try to tell her how I feel, and I just..." His voice trailed off and he bowed his head, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the tears.

"How _do_ you feel, Dan?" Shelby asked softly, wondering if her brother had even asked himself that question yet. Gradually, Danny lifted his head and turned to face her.

"I think I'm in love with her," he croaked helplessly, like he was confessing to a horrible crime. His whole body shook, and Shelby pulled him to her just as he began to sob. Shelby cradled him like that for a while, stroking his head, until she finally asked, "Why don't you tell her that?"

"There's no point," Danny said miserably. "She doesn't feel the same."

"How do you know?" Shelby demanded. "Have you asked her? Because all I know is that she seemed really upset when she went to bed tonight. Did you guys have a fight?" Danny nodded. "Well then she must care about you!"

"It's not the same. I can't offer her anything. I have no education, no skills, nothing."

"This isn't the dark ages, Danny," Shelby told him. "And I'm sure she doesn't care about any of that."

"I'll bet her father does," Danny said bitterly. "Ironic, considering he's part of the reason I..." Danny stopped, wincing when he realised what he had done. Finn and Shelby both picked up on his error.

"Her dad what?" Shelby pressed. "Come on, Danny, tell me."

"I knew him," Danny whispered. "I knew him before. He was one of the people in charge at the institution. He used to..." Danny stopped, but his friend and sister both knew what he was talking about. Shelby was well aware that her brother had suffered horrific abuse at his children's home, and Finn had caught a glimpse of the permanent mutilation on Danny's back. It was as bad as any of his own scars, probably worse. Finn had only endured a few months of child abuse; Danny's entire childhood was swallowed up by it.

"Oh, God, Danny," Shelby gasped. "I'm so sorry." Suddenly, Danny shut his eyes and began banging his fists against the side of his head, like a child having a tantrum. It startled and frightened Shelby, who felt tears of helplessness fill her eyes.

"It's his fault!" he shouted furiously, still hitting himself. "It was him! He's the reason I'm like this! I was so scared of him, Shelby. He hit me with anything he could get his hands on – a belt, a baseball bat, chains, anything. He'd call me names, make me stand out in the snow all night while he and his buddies laughed. He's the reason I'm a screwed-up freak. It wasn't my fault, Shelby. It wasn't my fault!"

"Stop it!" Shelby ordered tearfully, holding Danny's arms tightly, stopping the blows to his head. "You are not a product of those monsters. Listen, to me. I know what's been done to you, Dan, and I hate it. And I hate Beth's dad for the same reason you hate Walt. If we had had each other growing up, none of this crap would have happened to us. What you lived with was awful, Danny, but you survived. You are _not_ a screwed-up freak. You're my brother and I love you, okay? I love you."

"Shel..." Danny mumbled quietly, leaning against her. He was calmer now – the reminder of the mutual devotion between himself and his twin dulling the agony slightly – but the damage remained. "I can't get away from it. If Beth stays with me, I'll never be rid of it, because I'll never be rid of him. And eventually, that'd destroy us." Shelby said nothing as she rocked him lovingly, like she used to do with Jess when they were kids and the littlest Merrick had a nightmare. Danny's childhood had been one unending nightmare, and Shelby would give anything to help him finally wake up, once and for all.

For the last few months, he had been Daniel Nathan Merrick, her brother, who was quiet and shy, but also very sweet, kind, funny and, despite his patchy education, really smart. But when he arrived at Horizon, he was a twitchy, nervous stranger with no identity, and nothing to live for. And now, as the ghosts of his life as John Doe returned to haunt him, Shelby could feel her twin slipping away. As he wept, she held him tighter, trying to reach out to him with her mind and heart, letting him know he was loved and needed by at least one person.

As Shelby held on to her crying brother, Finn watched helplessly, feeling for them both. Finally, as Danny's sobs lessened, Shelby motioned for him to come forward. Then, each of them holding one of Danny's arms, they wordlessly led the broken young man back to the infirmary.

* * *

Very long, I know. Very angsty, I know. Very depressing, I know. Very late, I know. What can I say?

Next chapter: A lot of convincing going on. Peter tries to convince Beth's parents to let her stay, Shelby tries to convince Beth to give Danny another chance, and Finn tries to convince Danny that love is worth fighting for. Will any of them succeed?

Author's Note: I realised yesterday that I am only about halfway through this story (argh!) Coming up to the end of Danny's segment, but still got LOADS of Finn's shit to deal with. Are you still enjoying?


	18. Worth Fighting For

First chapter in SO long, I'm sorry. A quick preview – Shelby tries to convince Beth to change her mind about leaving, while Finn uses his experience of doomed love to try and talk sense into Danny.

Thanks for the great feedback last time, but I'm afraid this is a very unhappy chapter. I mean it, folks, NOBODY is in a good mood in this one. Beth's sad, Danny's hung-over, Finn's brooding and Shelby's worried, and Peter and Sophie are concerned. NOBODY'S HAPPY!

I mean it. Not a single person is happy!

And did I mention it's LONG!

It's not too late...

Okay, you're still reading. Thanks, but I warned you!

* * *

Chapter 18: Worth Fighting For 

"Mr. Tate, is there nothing I can say to change your mind?" Peter asked Beth's father one final time. He and Sophie had been sitting in his office with the Tates for over an hour, trying to get them to reconsider letting their daughter stay at Horizon. Beth was making a good recovery, following her little brother's death and her rebellious behaviour, but it would be naïve to think that her fight was over. Beneath the surface, like with all the kids, there was a great deal of damage, and Peter had seen the good progress of way too many kids crumble because their parents thought it was time to take them back to the lives that caused this damage in the first place.

"We both appreciate what you've done for our daughter, Mr. Scarbrow," Mr. Tate said. "But we've made our decision. We're ready for Beth to come home and live with us again."

"With all due respect, Mr. Tate," Sophie began tentatively. "Beth may not be as ready as you. She's been making wonderful progress, and has also made some very close friends. The kids here work together as a very tight unit. If Beth suddenly leaves, it will disrupt both her recuperation and that of her friends. They're so close to the end of their time here. Why risk all her improvement – and the improvement of others – for the sake of a few months?"

"We've talked to the principal at her old school," Mrs. Tate explained. "And he has agreed to let her graduate with her old classmates, like it should be."

"It will look better on any job or college applications if she has a certificate from a normal high school," Mr. Tate said, and Peter didn't miss the hint of disgust. The feeling was mutual. Beth's uncle was the one who brought her to Horizon – he was the only relative who gave a damn about her after her brother's accidental death – and since then, her parents had made minimal contact and showed no interest in her schooling. According to Beth, they were embarrassed that they had a daughter in 'a rehab clinic for spoiled brats.'

"The topic is not up for discussion," Mr. Tate said, standing up, and his wife immediately did the same. "Beth is coming home with us today." Without any thanks or goodbyes, the Tates left Peter's office.

Sophie turned to her husband, but neither of them had to say anything. Beth's growth was being thwarted by her parents' pride. The Tates clearly didn't appreciate the importance of the Cliffhangers in Beth's life, and Beth's quiet tolerance of this ignorance would potentially drive her back to her old lifestyle.

And, as often happened in these circumstances, it was completely out of Peter and Sophie's hands.

* * *

Beth wordlessly zipped up her bag, knowing that the other Cliffhanger girls were looking at her. She sighed and turned to face them, sitting on her bed, ready to answer their questions. 

"So you're really going?" Jules asked for about the twentieth time. "There's nothing we can say?"

"I'm sorry, you guys," Beth said sincerely. "These last few months have been great, and we'll always be friends, I promise. But my parents want me to come home."

"Everyone here knows, Beth," Daisy said dryly. "That parents are not the fountains of eternal knowledge and wisdom that we're brought up to believe they are. Maybe they really don't know what's best for you."

"My life fell apart when Ryan died," Beth said softly, feeling that same emotion, that deepest remorse that she felt whenever she thought about her beloved baby brother. _He'd be a little boy now_, she thought to herself sadly. _Not a baby anymore. He'd be talking, running, laughing, and probably driving me nuts. But at least he'd be here. At least he'd be safe._ She snapped out of these thoughts and addressed her friends, "And my parents lives fell apart. I thought they'd never forgive me, but they're trying. They want us to be a family again. I can't pass this chance up."

"We understand that," Jules said. "But, in a way, we're your family too. And what about Danny? He's cool with you leaving?"

_Like hell he is_, Shelby wanted to say. She had stayed silent all morning, the image of her broken, distraught twin still fresh in her mind. Danny was far from okay, and if Beth left, he might never get over it. She would do anything for her brother, but she had no idea what she could say to convince Beth to reconsider. Especially since Beth still thought Danny didn't care about her.

"Danny has made his feelings pretty clear," Beth admitted, and Shelby could see how much pain Danny's coldness had caused her. "Whatever I do makes no difference to him."

"Hey, keep in mind I'm kind of responsible for you two hooking up," Daisy pointed out, fondly remembering Danny's initial nervousness around Beth. She remembered her own amusement as she watched Shelby's brother watch the newbie, looking at her as if he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Knowing that Danny had never experienced feelings like that before, she had encouraged her very shy, very innocent friend to act upon them. Daisy didn't know where that nice, delicate, and emotionally very young boy had gone these last few weeks, but she missed him.

"Your point?" Beth raised her eyebrows.

"My point," Daisy said in a mock-dramatic tone. "Is that if you leave, it will confirm the rumours that I am cold and dead inside, and that I know nothing about love." Beth had promised herself to cut this conversation short if anyone mentioned the l-word, and that's exactly what she did.

"I'm sorry," she said firmly. "But my decision has been made." Knowing they were defeated, Jules and Daisy headed out for breakfast. But Peter didn't call Shelby 'reinforced concrete' for nothing. It was going to take more than Beth's determined tone to stop her helping her brother, or her friend, for that matter. And Beth was a friend. When they were the only two left in the dorm, Shelby finally spoke.

"He's complicated, isn't he?" she said wryly, knowing that Beth was listening, even though she had turned her back to pack her stuff. "My brother. I mean, he rarely cracks a joke. He looks like he's going to wet himself with terror every time he's asked a question in class. And as for trying to get him to talk about his feelings? Forget it." She considered that for a moment. "It's kind of a family trait, I guess. He's an intensely private person."

"You don't say," Beth muttered.

"But he's Danny," Shelby continued. "And defying the unwritten law of brothers and sisters...I don't hate his guts. I would protect him with my life, even if I were protecting him from himself. You're someone's sister; you can understand that."

"I don't want to talk about my brother, Shelby," Beth said, her anger levels slowly rising. Shelby was hitting a nerve, and they both knew it. "And I definitely don't want to talk about yours."

"He really cares about you, Beth," Shelby insisted gently. "I know he has behaved like an ass recently, but please believe me, he doesn't want you to go. There's some stuff going on with him, and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Keep in mind, we've had years to perfect the angsty-adolescent act, but when we were being pubescent brats, he was rooting through a dumpster for food. This is all really new to him, and if I'm honest, I think you scare him."

"How, Shel?" Beth demanded. "What is it about me that scares him so much?"

"The way you make him feel," Shelby said. "The way he looks at you when you don't see him. He tries to hide it, Beth, but I can see it."

"Oh, and you know him so well, right?" Beth said sarcastically. "You've known him for how long? A year?"

"And how old was your brother when..." Shelby stopped, knowing that she had already touched on Ryan, and it would be cruel to go back there again. Her tone softened. "It doesn't matter how long I've known him. We're twins – blood. We have a connection. I know it sounds lame, or clichéd, or whatever, but I understand him, and I know him better than I know anyone, maybe even better than Scott or my sister. Everything that affects him affects me, and right now he is really hurting, because he would do anything to keep you from leaving."

"Except talk to me," Beth countered. "Whatever you say about him, Shelby, the fact remains that he's not here saying all this – his sister is. Now, I care about him, so much more than you know. I really do, but if it's a choice between being with my family, and being with a guy who can't even look me in the eye anymore, no matter how much I love him..."

_Dammit_, she thought, stopping short in shock, the expression on Shelby's face proving that she had just broken her golden rule – she had used the l-word. There had been many guys at her old school that she had been involved with, many bad guys, who had used and been used by her. When her uncle finally decided she needed help, she accepted willingly, and swore to herself that she wouldn't get emotionally intimate with anyone. And in spite of Danny's recent behaviour, and his lousy, childlike social skills, she could no longer deny how deeply she had fallen for him, for his tenderness and warmth, and how safe and cared for he made her feel. But it wasn't enough.

"He's made his choice, Shelby," Beth said softly, forcing herself to ignore her heart. "And he needs to do some growing up before he can be with anybody. I'm sorry." Shelby sighed, knowing that – short of betraying Danny's confidence and admitting the real reason behind his sudden change in mood – there was nothing she could say to change her friend's mind. The two girls exchanged a warm look.

"Take care of him," Beth whispered.

"You know I will," Shelby responded, and although she couldn't be sure, she thought she saw tears in Beth's eyes as she picked up her bags and walked out the door.

"Come on, Danny," Shelby muttered to herself, as if in prayer. "Do something."

* * *

Across campus in the infirmary, Danny Merrick was in agony. Having just woken up, still wearing the black t-shirt and torn khaki pants he had worn the day before, he had tried to sit up, and instantly felt a terrible pain in his head and vomit in his throat. One hand instantly went to his head, and the other grabbed the basin that was – for some reason – on the floor right next to his bed, and threw up. It took him only a few moments to remember what had happened the night before. He had confessed to Shelby and Finn that Beth's father had beaten him in the children's home. But not before he had got very, very drunk. 

_Oh, shit,_ Danny thought to himself in despair, memories from his early teens coming back to him in a fuzzy, painful rush. _I've got a hangover._ It was then that Danny realised that he was not alone. Finn Maguire was sitting on the floor on the other side of the room.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," Finn smiled, speaking softly. He stood up and Danny saw, to his great relief, that his roommate was holding a large jug of water and a glass. Finn poured it for Danny and handed it to him.

"Get that down you as fast as possible," he instructed, even though Danny had already started gulping. "We got some into you last night before you passed out, and you vomited quite a bit, so the pain should get better soon. Sorry I couldn't find any painkillers. Pretty crap infirmary."

"No drugs of any kind," Danny muttered, remembering the first speech Peter had given him, the day he arrived at Horizon. It seemed like such a long time ago; so many things had changed since then. And yet, sitting there in hungover misery in old, ill-fitting clothes, he still felt like a little kid. "How bad was I last night?"

"Ah, not too bad," Finn said dismissively, shrugging. "I've seen worse. You didn't stab me with the bottle, so that makes you a fairly good drunk in my book." Danny considered this casual answer for a moment, remembering what Finn had told him about his uncle. He had seen the hideous scar on his friend's collar, more grotesque than any of his own. What's more, he was sure that wasn't Finn's only permanent, physical reminder of his uncle's cruelty. _Maybe this guy isn't so different from me,_ Danny thought to himself. _We're probably the two most private, silent people here._

"Can I ask you something, Finn?"

"Down that," Finn said, motioning to the glass of water in Danny's hand. "And you can ask me whatever you want." Danny obeyed, and Finn promptly took the glass, refilled it, and handed it back.

"Why did you fight back?" Danny asked. Finn knew what he meant, and didn't hesitate in his answer.

"When I first figured out what my uncle was like," he began. "I knew that every kick, punch or whipping I took meant there was one less for my little brothers. And so I decided that I'd endure whatever I had to, if it meant keeping him away from them. I mean, they were babies, man. They had just lost their parents, they were in a foreign country, no friends, no other relatives. It was the only thing I knew how to do for them."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I fought back...because my uncle made the mistake of getting bored with me," Finn told him. "One night, the night he gave me this..." Finn paused in his story, pointing to the scar by his eye. "He finished with me and headed for my brother Shay, and I knew it was time for me to stand up to him. Which was actually much easier than I thought it would be. One punch and the son of a bitch went down."

"That simple, huh?" Danny mumbled, hiding his admiration for the other kid. He did what Danny was afraid to do. "Still a brave thing to do."

"My dad used to say that no act is brave unless the person doing it is scared," Finn said. "I had something to lose that night. If Patrick had never gone near my brothers, things might have been different. I had promised to protect them with my life, and when I thought that promise was going to be broken, it terrified me, so I stopped him." Finn shrugged, adding, "I can't really explain it any better than that."

"How did you get over it?" Danny wondered. "I mean, if last night proves anything, it's that I am one messed up individual. How'd you come out of it okay?"

"I'm not so sure I did," Finn admitted. "You see, Danny, my uncle's been dead for years, and I can still remember every detail of every beating. Point to a scar on my body, and I can tell you how I got it. It's been six years, and I'm still not completely okay with what I see when I look in the mirror. I'm covered in...abnormalities. When I take a shower, and I feel them, I know that no matter how much I wash, I'll never be 100 clean again...because of him. I know you're haunted, Danny, but to tell you the truth, so am I."

Danny was shocked by the honesty of this response, and couldn't think of anything to say back. Finn went back to his cot and pulled something out from under his mattress – a small photograph. He handed it to Danny, who examined it closely. It was a picture of a pretty girl – beautiful, in fact – who was about their age, with brown hair, a radiant smile, and eyes that, Danny thought, seemed to be looking straight at him through the picture. He looked up at Finn, who was smiling sadly.

"I don't know if I'll ever really be over it, Dan," he said. "There's always going to be some part of me – however big or small – that'll never be able to let it go. But what I have to remember is that I'm not dead inside. I'm still here, still surviving, and I'm working every day to get this shite out of my system. And if you want to know how – or why – I do that, then just take a look at her." Finn motioned to the picture, adding softly, "She's the reason."

"Who is she?"

"Sarah," Finn said. "Her mom and dad are my foster parents. Jesus Christ, she's incredible, mate. She's fun, kind, loving, and nobody in the world knows me like she does." Danny handed him back the photo.

"So, are you guys friends, or...?" Danny didn't finish that thought. He didn't need to. Judging by the sorrowful expression on Finn's face, they were a lot more than friends.

"We're a lot of things," Finn told him, taking a lingering look at the photograph in his hands. "Or at least we were. Along with my brothers, she's the most important person in my life. Not long ago, I finally told her I was in love with her, and – for some reason that I will never understand – she said that she loved me too. All of a sudden, I had everything I've wanted since I was twelve...and the next thing I know, the cops are at our door, telling me that a friend of ours has accused me of trying to rape her." Finn laughed bitterly, a world of hurt in his husky voice. "Bloody karma's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Why would she say that?" Danny asked, but Finn shook his head.

"I don't know. All I know is that, if Amanda doesn't come clean before my time here's over, my life with Sarah's going to be over before it's even started."

"I know how that feels," Danny mumbled, and Finn's eyes narrowed.

"The only difference, Danny," he pointed out. "Is that right now, Sarah is nearly 200 miles away, and I have no way to show her how much she means to me. Beth, on the other hand, is a few hundred yards away, hoping that you'll get your shit together in time to tell her how you feel." Danny considered this, and was suddenly very sober, and very afraid. _How could I possibly tell Beth I love her? She won't believe me, or worse, she will and she'll laugh. She sure as hell won't stay just because I ask her to. And what about her dad..._ Danny's thoughts trailed off, but Finn's stare brought him back.

"Not brave if you're not scared, pal," he said quietly. For a moment, Danny was frozen, before leaping off the bed and racing out the door at top speed.

"About friggin' time," Finn said under his breath, before running out the door after him.

* * *

So what happens next? Will Danny be in time to make Beth stay? Will he have to confront her father? What will Beth choose? If you want to find out, folks, then please R&R. Might have the next chapter up before Christmas – definitely before New Year. 

Also, kind of off-topic, but I showed this story to two friends (ye know who ye are, ye hopeless romantics!) who are having a big debate about the best original character (Danny or Finn) and best original couple (Danny/Beth and Finn/Sarah). I'm neutral (I can't choose!) and they're driving me insane, so if any of you readers could spare 20 seconds to give me an insight into who you all prefer (if for no other reason than to stop the madness of my mates) it would be much appreciated.

In the meantime, hope you all enjoy the holiday season (regardless of religion etc.) and New Year. May the best of your last be the worst of your next. Nollaig Shona!


	19. The Deliverance Of Danny Merrick

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:

First of all, folks, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for my friends, Puckeen and the Shaughraun (I knew giving them this website address was a bad idea.) Also, the poor lads have delusions of sex appeal, so if anyone thought they sounded charming or attractive, I urge you to THINK AGAIN! Don't get me wrong, great lads, both of them, but I won't let them subject you good readers to their appallingly clumsy attempts at flirtation/seduction/downright inappropriate gropinglike they have so many an unfortunate Dublin girl (and, on occasion, Dublin boy...you know who you are, Puckeen!)

Also, enjoy the chapter. I know I said it would be up by New Year, but I was VERY wrong. I'm really sorry it was so late. In this chapter, Danny will experience true love and happiness for the first time in his sad little life...either that, or he'll experience the cold, sharp devastation of rejection, which will inevitably send the poor bastard right over the edge! Which shall it be?

Chapter 19: The Deliverance of Danny Merrick

At the exact moment that Danny realised what he had to do, the rest of the Cliffhangers assembled outside the main lodge to say goodbye. Scott glanced over at her waiting parents, and saw how clearly impatient they were.

"Y'know," he told Shelby. "For two people getting their daughter back after so long, they don't look too happy about it." Shelby said nothing, but just watched helplessly, resisting the urge to tell Beth the truth about Danny's past. But she had promised her brother she'd stay quiet, and that's what she would do.

"What's up?" Scott asked concerned, placing an arm across her shoulders. _God, he misses nothing,_ Shelby thought in mild amusement.

"It's nothing," she said gently, touching his hand on her shoulder. She glanced up at him, and figured he hadn't quite bought that one. "Okay, it's not nothing, but I can't explain it right now."

"Right now, or ever?" Scott questioned, but not insistently. He had long since learned his lesson about pushing Shelby, and wasn't about to make that mistake again. Their relationship was now built completely on trust and love, and when she looked up at him again, he knew he hadn't even needed to ask.

"Right now," she assured him, brushing a hand across his cheek. "But I will, I promise." She smiled at him as best she could, and was slightly comforted by gentle squeeze he gave her.

"Where's Danny, anyways?" Scott wondered out loud. "I thought he'd want to say goodbye." He promptly shut up when, having finished saying her goodbyes to the other Cliffhangers, Beth stepped up to him and Shelby.

"Good luck," Scott told her sincerely, giving her a quick hug. "And keep in touch, okay?"

"I will," Beth promised, turning to Shelby. The two friends shared an uncomfortable, sad smile, and Shelby knew that their conversation earlier that morning hadn't had the desired effect. As they wordlessly hugged, Shelby could only hope that Finn had had more luck with Danny than she had had with Beth. When they parted, Peter approached to give Beth the obligatory farewell speech.

"You'll do fine, Beth," Peter told her in his kind, fatherly voice. "You've faced your demons, and you've learned a lot. But if you ever feel like it won't be okay, we're always here for you. That's a promise."

"Thank you, Peter," Beth told him, although somehow, it didn't feel like enough.

"Come on, Beth," her real father called impatiently, getting into the car. "It's time to go." Beth reluctantly picked up her bags and turned towards her parents' car, when out of the corner of her eye, she saw Danny and Finn running towards them. When they reached them, both out of breath, Danny gently took Beth's hand and led her away from the group. For a long moment, he said nothing, focusing all his attention on Beth, even though he knew her father was only a few feet away. Beth looked at him, confusion, frustration and a flicker of hope in her expression as Danny held both her hands in his own.

"If I said I was sorry," he finally said, in a voice so quiet only Beth could hear. "And that I didn't want you to go, would you stay?"

"No," Beth said softly, eyes down. Up until a few hours ago, she was certain she'd leap into his arms with joy if he said that, but she wasn't about to let her guard down. She didn't say any more for a second, and then looked up at him. "How could I be sure you wouldn't behave like that again, that you wouldn't close off on me again? If you want to be in a relationship with someone, Danny, you have to trust them. You can't shut people out." She began to pull her hands away from his, but he tightened his grip slightly, desperation rising in his voice.

"I know that there's no excuse for my behavior recently," he told her. "And I'd do anything to take it back. But you have to understand that I'm scared."

"Of what?" Beth demanded, baffled. "Me?"

"Yeah, in a way. There are things about me that you don't know, that nobody knows, not even Shelby. I've never been this close to anyone before, and I want us to be even closer. I want you to know everything about me, I want to be able to share everything with you, but I'm terrified that you might not like what you hear. I need to take it slowly, and as much as I might want to, I can't just tell you everything."

"Then tell me _anything_!" Beth almost pleaded. "Right here, right now. Tell me one single thing about yourself that I don't already know, one of those deep dark secrets that you're so desperate to hold onto."

"What if I told you I love you?" he whispered urgently, barely giving her the chance to finish her sentence. "That you're the most amazing girl in the world and I can't stand the thought of my life without you? What would you do?" He watched her shut her eyes and bend her head, clearly shocked and moved by what he had said. She also seemed a bit scared, as he was. It was nearly seventeen years before Danny loved anyone, and even then it was only his newfound family – his mother and sisters, and perhaps to a lesser extent, his friends.

Loving Beth was completely different. It was actually terrifying, because Danny knew that their relationship would either make or break him. He wanted to be a nice guy, and let her get on with her life and be happy for her. He really did want to, but he didn't have the slightest idea what he was going to do if she walked away now. He would probably go insane. Behind her, out of the corner of his eye, he could see her parents a few yards away getting out of the car. Danny could tell that they were growing impatient, but this was far more important than whether or not they beat the traffic.

"What would you do, Beth?" he asked again, searching her face for a clue.

"I'd tell you that...I love you too," she admitted, looking straight at him. "But that I can't stay if you won't be honest with me."

"Give me another chance," he begged. "Just one more chance and I swear to God I'll be honest with you from here out. No more secrets, and no more lies."

"Then answer one question, Danny," she asked. "Why were you avoiding me last week?" Danny knew she would ask this question eventually, but he had hoped it wouldn't happen while her father was standing a little bit down the road. He glanced at him, and didn't get the impression that her father Mike recognized him. Four years was a long time, and Danny wasn't the kid he used to be. He looked back at Beth, at her beautiful, pleading eyes, and knew he couldn't tell her.

His silence told Beth all she needed to know. It was clear that he either couldn't or wouldn't change, not even for her. She nodded slightly, like she understood, and leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Goodbye, Danny," she said softly, tears filling her eyes. Without another word, she turned and walked towards the car. Shelby and Finn moved over to where their brother and friend stood, too stunned and devastated to move or speak.

"Danny, I'm so sorry," Shelby said, taking her brother's arm. Danny stayed silent for a moment, watching Beth as she moved towards the car, and away from him, then turned helplessly to Shelby and Finn.

"I…I don't want to watch this," he mumbled sadly. Understanding his friend's agony better than anyone knew, Finn helped Shelby to lead him back to the cabins. The other Cliffhangers watched with despair, all surprised and horrified that, even after all that, Beth was still going to leave. Reluctantly, they all began to walk away.

"Come on," Beth's father ordered again in his gruff voice. "Let's go." Beth opened the passenger door, but found herself unable to get in. Without even bothering to close the door again, she ran back up the path. Hearing the rapid footsteps, everyone turned again, including Danny. Seeing Beth, he moved instantly and took her in his arms, hugging her tightly, terrified that she'd leave again if he let go. He didn't plan on ever letting go again.

"I can't lose you," Beth told him between sobs, burying her face in his shirt.

"You won't," Danny promised, kissing her. Finn, Shelby, Scott and the gang all watched with huge, delighted grins on their faces, as did Peter and Sophie. The only ones not smiling were Beth's parents.

"Beth," Mike called harshly. "Stop playing around. It's time to go."

"I'm not going, Dad," Beth said calmly, her hand in Danny's. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

"What are you talking about?" her mom asked, getting out of the car again.

"She thinks she's staying for this…boy," Mike said, tossing a disgusted look at Danny that made his blood run cold. He had seen that look before, as it usually followed one of Mike's beatings. Mike would tell the bruised, bleeding little kid crouching in the corner that these 'exercises' would make a man of him. Danny wanted to kill him, but held back, because Mike still didn't seem to recognize him.

"Dad," Beth insisted. "I've been here for a few months now, and it's been really great for me. I've grown a lot, but I'm not finished yet. There's more for me to do, to overcome. And I need to do it here."

"Surrounded by drug addicts and sex offenders?" Mike threw back, glaring at the entire group. "How's that going to help?"

"I know you don't get it, Dad," Beth said. "But please respect my decision."

"This is ridiculous," Beth's mother sighed.

"I agree," Mike muttered, moving in the familiar, big long strides that Danny knew were associated with immense frustration and anger. Danny let go of Beth's hand, and stepped up to meet Mike.

"Out of my way," Mike ordered roughly. For a moment, Danny felt like he might wet himself, but kept in mind that he wasn't a little kid anymore. Mike hadn't laid a hand on him since he was twelve years old, and Danny was determined that if he even tried to do it again, he'd regret it.

"Why can't you just support her regardless?" Danny demanded. "You don't know or care what's best for your daughter. All you care about is what's convenient for you." Beth reached for Danny's arm, not really wanting him to get in a fight with her dad. But Danny pulled away from her, squaring up against one of the men who had made his childhood a misery.

"And you can give her what she needs?" Mike scoffed, massive hints of the man Danny remembered appearing. "A little punk with a smart mouth? What drug did you get sent here for?"

"Dad!" Beth cried, appalled at her father's attitude.

"It's okay," Danny said, turning only slightly towards her. He saw Mike's fists clench, and couldn't tell if it was just out of anger or a threat of violence. Either way, Danny was ready for what was coming. This was his school, his territory, and he had his friends standing by. All of a sudden, Mike didn't seem so scary anymore.

"I don't know how long I can make her happy," Danny told Mike. "Maybe just a few weeks, or maybe a few decades. But I will never let her down. I won't abandon her. I won't ignore her when she needs me. I won't do any of those things because I love her. If you do too, you'll leave her be."

"Who the hell are you to tell me how to treat my own child?" Mike growled, in a voice so vicious and full of hate that it frightened Beth. "You're just some goddamn little brat who grew up with a rich mommy and daddy who bought you everything you ever wanted, from candy to crack. And then when it became too much, they shipped you off to some fancy school in the woods where you could piss about in trees and call it recuperation."

"You're wrong, Mr. Tate," Danny said, ready to come clean. His voice wasn't necessarily that loud, but everyone was listening. "I grew up in a children's home in New England. A place called Borvil's Institution. Maybe you've heard of it?" Beth had heard of the home. She knew her father had worked shifts there when she was younger, before his hardware business. But she didn't know that that was where Danny had been. She looked at her father for some sort of reaction. Mike just looked shocked and a bit confused, because for the life of him, he couldn't remember who Danny was. There had been so many kids in that place; he couldn't possibly remember all of them.

"Can't quite place me, can you, Mike?" Danny said, his voice quivering ever so slightly. "I could show you a couple of scars, if you think that would refresh your memory."

"Jesus Christ…" Mike breathed, memories flooding back to him. He looked at the kid in front of him, and saw a much younger boy – a fragile little guy with light blond hair and bright blue eyes. Puffy bruises and deep scrapes tarnished his pale, delicate face and fresh tears from bloodshot eyes fell down his hollow cheeks.

He heard a child wailing in agony, pleading with Mike and his friends not to hurt him anymore, that he'd be a good boy. He heard the venom in his own voice as he called the boy every name under the sun. He remembered plucking this boy from his bed, dragging him by the shoulders and leading him out of the room and down the hall. Every time the kid – dressed only in his Y-fronts – struggled or stumbled, Mike would kick him in the small of his back, and put out his cigarette on the boy's bare chest.

On this particular night, Mike's buddies had turned on the hot water in the shower cubicles, steam filling the dimly lit room as Mike threw youngster under into the cubicle. Mike could still feel the satisfaction in his heart as the young child shrieked like an animal as the hot water practically scorched his flesh. Every time he tried to stand up and get out, one of the men would nudge him back, and he would slip on the tiles, causing even more cuts and bruises.

But this boy had been one of many. He was a passing hobby, just an activity to keep Mike going until it was time to go home to his family. There were other victims, on different days and nights, different months and years. This boy was only one.

"I can understand that you don't remember my name," Danny said. "You didn't use it very often. But it's Danny. Danny Merrick. And you made my life a living hell."

"Dad," Beth gasped in horror. "Dad, tell me you didn't."

"I was…I was preparing him," Mike said, his lip trembling. He knew that his words were hollow – there was no way to justify his actions. The ghosts of his past had finally caught up with him. He had quit that job years ago, and hoped that he had left the images of what he had done behind him. But now, one of his preys had come back to haunt him. "I was preparing all of you for what life was really like."

"Thanks, Mike," Danny scoffed bitterly. "Very kind of you."

"Beth," Mike said feebly. "That's my past. I never meant…"

"Get in your car," Beth said, stepping up next to Danny, and taking his arm, all the while looking at her father. "Drive away, and never come near us again."

"Honey, don't do this!" Mike cried.

"What about Ryan, Dad?" Beth demanded. "How long would it have been before you started bullying him, hitting him, preparing him for life? I want you gone, for good. Never come back here." Mike looked at the faces of his daughter's friends. The boys looked ready to kill him, and the girls looked just as hateful, one in particular, who looked too much like Danny to be anything other than his sister. He knew that if he did anything to Danny or Beth now, he would be ripped apart.

Stunned and unable to fight back anymore, Mike slowly turned and got back in the car. Beth's mother, who had known about her husband's part time job, said nothing, and followed him. As they sped away, Danny turned to Beth, tears in both their eyes.

"I'm sorry," he croaked. "I recognized him that first day he arrived. I wanted to tell you so badly, but I couldn't. I didn't want to…"

"It's okay," Beth said, hugging him. "I lost my parents a long time ago. It was always too late for us. But you and me – it's not too late for us."

"I love you," Danny whispered as he kissed her gently. Peter and Sophie, for once, ignoring the 'inappropriate touching' rule, came over to them, and Peter placed a concerned, fatherly hand on Danny's back.

"You okay, son?" he asked softly. Danny looked at his teacher, his mentor – and yes, the only father he had ever known – and smiled at him and Sophie.

"I'm going to be fine," he promised. The Scarbrows smiled warmly at them both, and hugged them. As the other kids gathered around to congratulate Danny on his bravery and welcome Beth back to the fold, Danny turned to Finn and – before manliness and common sense could stop them – the pair embraced like brothers.

"This is twice you saved my life, Maguire," Danny told his friend, keeping one hand on his shoulder, his other arm around Beth. "I owe you two favours now."

"Just don't screw yourself up again, Dan," Finn told him with a grin. "And we're square."

"Nah, I'll find some other way to pay you back," Danny promised, hugging Beth again. Stepping back slightly from his new friends, Finn's felt his smile fade a little as the sadness in his heart re-emerged. Watching Danny and Beth, and Scott and Shelby, was enough to make Finn believe that love could – and often did – find a way. And that it could be strong enough, not only to save a relationship, but also to save a life.

_If only it had been enough to save me..._

* * *

Sappy, I know. The remainder of the story will mostly be devoted to Finn's plight now, as I've barely scratched the surface of his story. There's still a few flashbacks to go, but don't worry, this is still very much a Higher Ground story and the Cliffhangers will play a big part in helping Finn get justice. And who knows – maybe he and Sarah will get back together. I guess we'll have to wait and see. 


	20. Always

NOTE: This is another flashback – it's Finn's last night in his home before being sent to Horizon (just so you know – I know it can get quite confusing sometimes.) Also, there is (as Ezra Friedkin would call it) _implied sex_ in this chapter. It's really quite tame – nothing graphic – but I just wanted to give fair warning.

Also, this is a really, really, REALLY long chapter. I've tried to cover everything in it – all Finn's pre-Horizon relationships. That means his parents (I put in a whole section on his mother, who I haven't really mentioned in much detail so far), his uncle, his brothers, his friends, and his foster family, which of course, includes Sarah. So if you manage to stick with it, please take a sec to R&R.

I own everyone in this chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 20: Always

"We only want what's best for you, son. We know how hard things have been for you at school."

Finn said nothing, and probably wouldn't have been able to if he tried. He was sitting in the living room, across from Joe and Grace Bryce, who were telling him about this school he was going to tomorrow, this institution for teenaged criminals. They hadn't used those exact words, of course, but Finn knew what it was. And he knew that he had absolutely no choice in the matter.

He knew it was coming. It was common sense. He had talked about it with Anna for a long time the night before, seeking advice from Sarah's wise old grandmother. Unfortunately, she couldn't offer much solace, simply telling him that justice would eventually be done, and that he was not to forget that, despite everything, he was still loved by everyone in this house. Listening to Joe and Grace now, Finn struggled to hold onto that knowledge.

"If it were just up to us, Finn," Joe continued. "We'd keep you here. The charges were dropped, and you haven't been expelled or even suspended from school. Technically your record is still spotless. But..." His voice trailed off, but Finn knew what the 'but' was. It had only been a week since that stupid, fateful party, but Finn's name was already synonymous with rape at school. He had gone from being relatively anonymous to negatively infamous in just a few days. He heard strangers whisper his name, watched frightened girls run away at the very sight of him, and had been shoved against lockers by sneering tough guys. Teachers were treating him differently – seeing him now as a repulsive delinquent, instead of the bright pupil he had been since day one.

Even his friends weren't speaking to him, except for a very select few. Seb would still walk and talk with him in the halls, and growled the occasional 'Fuck off!' at anyone who tried to lay a hand on his pal. But Thomas Sebastian was a diplomat, and carefully avoided stating whether or not he believed Finn was actually innocent. That was how he kept all his friends happy. Most of the other members of their clique were keeping their distance from Finn.

Sarah's support, of course, was unconditional. She told him immediately that she believed Amanda was lying, which, considering what good friends they were, Finn found quite amazing. She also told him that she was certain the case would fall apart, but she was only half-right. Finn was never charged, but only because Amanda withdrew her statement – apparently, she was too traumatised to go through with it. So while Finn was legally a free man, he was a high school pariah. And Sarah's unwavering love and belief in him made her one too.

"We love you, sweetie," Grace said tearfully, bringing Finn back to the present. He looked up in shock at his weeping foster mother, feeling terrible for what he was putting her and Joe through. "And we don't want you to go, but..." There was that 'but' again. Finn just nodded, reaching across the table to place a hand on Grace's arm.

"The bottom line is, Finn," Joe concluded. "If you spend a few months at this school, it'll give everyone a chance to cool down. And it's the only way we could convince Social Services not to remove you from our care – from this town – altogether. You have to understand, son, we had no choice."

"I know," Finn said, finally contributing to the conversation. "And I'm s-s-so grateful for everything you've done for me, and the boys. I don't b-b-blame you for any of this. I know what has to be done. I better...um, go pack." He stood up, wondering what he could say or do to make this easier on Joe and Grace.

"Thank you," he said softly, knowing it wasn't enough, so he continued awkwardly, desperately trying to control his stutter. "I never thought...never even hoped that me, Shay and Conn would end up with such a good family. And I know that my parents w-w-w..." He stopped, took a deep breath, and hurriedly finished with, "I know they'd be glad we were sent to people we love as much as them." He looked from one foster parent to the other, and knew that he had upset them even more.

"I really am so sorry. Goodnight," he croaked, before leaving the room. When he was gone, Joe Bryce wrapped his arms around his wife, and they sat in silence, hoping to God that their beloved foster son still had a future with them. Upstairs, as he headed for his bedroom, Finn saw Sarah standing in the doorway of her own.

"Hey," he murmured sadly. She didn't answer him, but he could see from her eyes that she had been crying.

"You heard all that?" She nodded, and moved slowly towards him.

"When are you leaving?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"In the morning. I have to pack." He wasn't trying to give her the brush-off, but if she touched him right now, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave. And that would just make everything worse.

"Finn..." she whispered brokenly, thinking back on the night of their first kiss. She remembered how badly, how desperately she had wanted Finn to take her in his arms and kiss her. But Finn was naturally shy, almost painfully so, and had held back. That same longing returned to her now, but now it was deeper, even more intense. Perhaps because she didn't know when they'd have the chance to hold each other, and touch each other again, if ever. But once again, Finn held back.

"You should go back to your room," he said gently. "It's getting late." They looked at each other for the longest moment, each keeping their distance for the sake of the other. Finn was the one who broke the stare – nearly breaking his own heart in the process – and went into his bedroom without another word. Once inside, he found Shay and Connor sitting on the youngest Maguire boy's bed, both in their pyjamas. Connor's face was in his hands, and Shay had a protective arm around his brother's shoulders. When he heard his big brother come in, the elder looked up.

"Cad atá cearr?" Finn asked in Irish, although he knew there was no point asking what was wrong. They had probably been sitting at the top of the stairs with Sarah, listening in on their big brother's fate.

"Ná bac, Finn," Shay answered, and Finn was proud of how well Shay had kept up the language. Their parents were both firm believers in the importance of the Irish language, and Finn had tried to make sure that it wasn't lost to his brothers. And he was also proud that Shay was trying to protect both of them from this – he had just told him not to worry. But Finn was the oldest, and he was the one to blame; it was his responsibility.

"What's up, little man?" he asked Conn gently, walking towards the bed and kneeling in front of him.

"Don't want you to go," the little boy mumbled unhappily. Finn sighed, running a hand through his messy hair.

"I don't want to go either, lads," he told them. "But it was the only way Joe and Grace could make sure I didn't have to move away for good. This way, I'll only be gone a few months."

"It's not fair," Shay grumbled. Finn straightened up, speaking to them directly.

"I know it's not. Frankly, it's shite. But a lot of people think I tried to do something very bad, and right now, I'd be upsetting everyone if I stayed. But I'm going to be back very soon, okay? And in the meantime, I need you two to do something for me." The two boys looked at him, eager to help him.

"You two have to do my job now, okay? You have to look after everyone. Joe, Grace, Anna, and especially Sarah. You guys have to take care of them. Can you do that?" Shay nodded in determination, and after a moment, Conn did too. Finn pulled them both to him, hugging them tightly.

"Good lads," he said softly, rubbing both their heads. "I love both of ye. Don't forget that, all right? Now get some sleep." Shay hopped off the bed, and Finn tucked Conn in, sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment. Shay got into his own bed – the bunk beneath Finn's – and watched his big brother stand up, give him a wink, and begin to pack his bag.

* * *

Try as he might, Finn couldn't get to sleep. He had packed his stuff pretty quickly, and had climbed into his bunk about two hours ago. Now, he stared at the ceiling, just inches from his face, trying to calm himself. He listened to Shay and Connor breathing softly in their beds, and tried not to think about what he was about to do to them. He had promised his father he would protect them – and now he was leaving them! 

_I'm sorry, Dad_, Finn thought miserably. _I failed them…and you, and Mam. I'm so sorry. I swear, I don't know why this is happening to me._ He sighed uneasily, unable to relax, to stop his body shaking. He had already tried exercise – push-ups and sit-ups until he couldn't take anymore – but it wasn't enough to put him at ease.

When he was a little boy, and had the occasional nightmare, his mother always woke to his cries. She would then lie on the bed next to him, cradling him gently, kissing his hair and singing to him softly until he fell into a peaceful sleep. After the accident, Finn held tight to the memory of her – her voice, her scent, even the fabric of her dressing gown as he leaned against her. He could often manage to find solace after one of Uncle Patrick's beatings only by imagining she was there beside him, holding him and protecting him, loving him. Even in the first few, uncertain weeks of living with the Bryces, the lonely, broken child would need that memory of a mother's love to help him overcome his anxieties.

But, as with all memories, Finn's recollection of his parents became less vivid as he grew older, as new memories replaced the old ones. His love for them didn't change, of course, especially not when he could see so much of them both in his younger brothers. Nevertheless, he felt certain details slip away with time – the sound of his father's laugh, of his mother's song. The way they would sit and talk with him for hours at a time, about everything and nothing. And during the lonely, sleepless nights of his adolescence, it was no longer the image of his mother that most soothed him. It was of someone else, someone he loved just as much as his late mother, but in a very different way.

_Sarah._

He closed his eyes, and she was there. The thought of her was the only thing bringing him any comfort, quietening the din in his head, easing the tension in his body. He clung to it, let it wash over him, trying to remember every detail of her, every memory they shared. The few times he almost drifted off to sleep, he would just wake again abruptly, devastated that she wasn't really there after all.

_Sarah, I need you._ The emotion surprised him, a desperate, all-consuming need to close to her, but he just couldn't shake it. When he couldn't bear it any longer, he threw off his blanket and jumped off his bunk, checking that his brothers were still asleep. And then he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

_What the hell are you doing?_ one of the voices in his head demanded, but Finn ignored it. This was too important – he needed her. They couldn't just leave it like this – with so much left unsaid. He couldn't stand the thought of not seeing her for however many months – he wanted to spend every second he could with her now. He needed to see her, to touch her, to tell her what she meant to him, what she would always mean to him. He knew he would be in serious trouble if either Joe or Grace woke up, but right at that moment, he didn't really care. He just needed to hear Sarah say that she loved him.

* * *

Sarah wasn't crying anymore, but she was having about as much success getting to sleep as her boyfriend across the hall. She regretted how they had parted in the hall, how cautious they had been with each other. She knew now that it had been their last chance to be close before Finn left. Saying goodbye tomorrow – God, the very thought of saying goodbye made her want to cry again – would be in front of her parents and the boys. They would have to be 'proper' with each other – a simple hug, or maybe a kiss on the cheek, but nothing more. They couldn't let anything give them away. It was too late for that now. 

Sarah turned in her bed when she heard the door open, and through the dim light from the lamp on her desk, she saw a familiar figure enter her room, dressed in a faded t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Finn, what is it?" Sarah asked, sitting up in the bed. Finn said nothing for a second or two, gathering the words together in his mind, making sure he could form the connection between what was in his head and what came out of his mouth when he tried to speak. His stutter rarely came back, only in the most nerve-wracking of situations, and even then it was only a hint of what it was when he was younger. Nevertheless, his nerves and emotions were getting to him, and he didn't want anything to get in the way of what he had to say to her.

"I tried…" he began, the lump in his throat affecting his speech more than his stutter. "I really did try to stay away tonight. I tried to go to sleep and forget about you. But every t-t-time…" He stumbled again, tears of fury starting to sting his eyes. Sarah slowly began to get out of the bed. In six years of living together, and despite all the pain in his life, she had never seen Finn Maguire cry, not once, and seeing how close he was to it now was both scaring her and breaking her heart.

"Every time," Finn continued, determined to say all he needed to say while he still could. "Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was you…and then, when I opened them again…then…you were gone." He hadn't phrased it how he wanted; he wanted to tell her he couldn't stand to be away from her, ever. And knowing that he was going to have to leave her for something he didn't do was killing him.

Sarah reached Finn just as he shut his eyes and broke down. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, stroking his hair. He held her just as tightly, sobbing intensely, a confused, angry, and scared young boy in the arms of the person who loved him most in the world. After a moment, Sarah pulled away just enough that she could see his face.

"Open your eyes, Finn," she ordered gently. She cupped his tear-stained face, holding it close to her own, but he still kept his eyes closed.

"Finn, look at me," she said again. Finally, he opened his eyes, bloodshot and tired, but still with the startling green they always had. She pushed his shaggy black hair off his brow, lightly tracing the scar near his right eye. Finn had told once told her how it had happened, when they were fourteen, and the story revolted her more than Finn's appearance ever could. _What kind of man,_ she thought to herself at the time, _could whip his young nephew with a belt, nearly blinding him?_ _Why would anyone want to hurt Finn? He's the best person I know._ It occurred to Sarah at that moment that she had been in love with her foster brother even then. _Why did it take me so long to realize that?_

"I'm here," she whispered. "And I'm always going to be here, whether your eyes are open or closed. And I promise you…I'll be here when you come back."

"Don't," Finn began, trying to be noble, to be like the hero of the old movies, the guy who would give the girl he loved the freedom to live her own life if they couldn't be together. He didn't know how long he'd be away, and Sarah was only seventeen. She deserved better than that. "I can't ask you to…"

"I used to have all these plans," Sarah interrupted. "I had my whole life laid out on the table. I knew what kind of job I wanted, what kind of man I wanted. But now my plans have changed. When I try to imagine my life in five years, ten years, or whatever, the only thing I can see is you. I want my life to be with you, Finn, and I'll wait as long as it takes to get you back."

Finn didn't say anything. He just held her even closer, touching her face softly, still scared she was going to disappear. Sarah could feel him shaking, or perhaps it was her, or both of them. Tenderly, she kissed his damp face, and then his mouth. He kissed her back, tasting his own tears on her lips. He wanted desperately to take comfort in her, to be as close to her as he possibly could for as long as he possibly could. But had not come to her tonight with any expectations, nor had he said all he said to get her into bed. He knew, however, as the kiss grew more intense, and they held each other tighter, that there was a choice to be made, and that he would have to make it. He chose for her, not for himself.

"Sarah," he whispered, breaking the kiss. "Maybe we shouldn't…" Before he could say anymore, she pressed her fingers against his moist lips, staring into his eyes. She didn't say anything – she didn't need to. What she needed was Finn. She stepped away from him, gripping his hand so as not to lose contact, and locked the door.

"You sure?" Finn asked, unwilling to pressure her. Sarah just nodded, letting him take her in his arms again. They clung to each other, Sarah's hands gripping Finn's shoulders as he kissed her neck. They parted long enough for Sarah to pull his t-shirt over his head, and for the first time, she saw his upper body and the damage that had been done to it. She ran her fingers slowly across his warm torso, indifferent to the scars, even pausing to caress his almost deformed collarbone.

For a brief moment, Finn was uncomfortable, a familiar self-loathing seeping back into his mind as he felt Sarah's hands on his scars. It had taken so much effort over the last few years making sure that nobody, especially his foster sister, saw them, which, considering he shared a bathroom with Sarah, hadn't been easy. Uncle Patrick had deformed him, made him inhuman, and as these old feelings returned, he expected Sarah to throw his shirt back at him and tell him to get the hell out of her room.

However, when Sarah looked up at him again and lovingly kissed him, all thoughts of Uncle Patrick, and the pain he inflicted on him, went out of Finn's mind. The entire world fell away, and there was no shame, no embarrassment, nothing left but the gorgeous girl in front of him. He wrapped her in his arms with a new confidence, savouring the warmth of her body so close to his bare flesh. She led him back towards the bed, and they lay down together.

"I love you, Finn," Sarah whispered fervently, and there was nothing more to say.

* * *

It was a few hours later before Finn woke in Sarah's bed. The sun wasn't up yet, and Sarah was still sound asleep next to him, naked and beautiful. He leaned over and kissed her, fighting the urge to cry again. She looked so peaceful that he was in two minds about whether or not he should wake her. Eventually he decided that the feeling he had waking up next to her – brief as it was – was one of total contentment and joy. He didn't want to deprive her of that, even if the aftermath would break her heart. 

"Sarah?" he whispered, touching her arm. She slowly began to stir, and as her eyes opened, Finn was tempted to just take her and run away where nobody would ever find them. He had friends and distant relatives in Ireland that they could stay with, in the rural areas, where carpentry would be a handy skill to have. He could show Sarah where he had grown up, where he had spent the best times of his life, until he found her. Their life could be perfect, and Finn knew that all he had to do was say the word and she would go with him.

But Finn Maguire didn't run from his problems, however tempting running might be. He still had his brothers to consider, and he didn't want them to see him act like a coward. And although he loved Sarah so much – no, _because_ he loved Sarah so much – he wasn't selfish enough to take her away from everything she knew. He knew now, as he gazed down at her, that he was doing the right thing, even if he was innocent.

"Sarah, I have to go now," he croaked sorrowfully. Sarah's expression of love and happiness was quickly replaced with one of horror, and she threw her arms around him.

"Don't," she pleaded simply, burying her face against his warm chest, feeling his heart thumping. In that moment, more than ever, she understood just how deep her love for Finn was. She had taken him for granted over the last six years, thinking he would always be there, protecting her, loving her. But now he was leaving, and there was nothing she wouldn't do to make him stay.

"It'll be alright," Finn promised softly, stroking her hair. "Everything's going to be alright." He said that over and over, but a large part of him didn't believe it. How could things be alright when he was leaving for – well, God only knows how long? Meanwhile Sarah would have to stay behind and listen to the lies that were being told about him around school. Finn couldn't predict what the future held for them both, and the only thing he could say to her was the one thing he knew for certain.

"I love you," he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. "I will always love you, Sarah. Always." Acting quickly, before his strength and self-control abandoned him, he turned from her and threw on his clothes. Once dressed, he took Sarah's hand, kissed it, and left the room, looking back helplessly for a moment before pulling the door closed behind him.

* * *

So what did ye think of that chapter, folks? Be sure to R&R and let me know. 

Coming up next chapter: Finn learns that he's going to be visited by his family…including Sarah. Will they be able to rebuild their relationship?


	21. Called To The Principals Office

I know this has taken a ridiculously long time to get up, but for those of you who have stuck with it, here it is. I'm sorry to say that it's quite short and very soppy. I was thinking about leaving it out, but I figured you guys deserved something. I own anyone who was never on _Higher Ground._

By the way, big thanks to all who are reviewing (except, obviously, the Shaughraun and Puckeen, who abused the system to make little digs at each other…and me. Shame on you, boys! Shame on you!) so please keep it up! You guys rock (again except S & P…losers!)

* * *

Chapter 21: Called To The Principal's Office

Finn sat patiently in the waiting area outside Peter's office, cracking his knuckles. He was supposed to be on his way to breakfast with the rest of the group, but one of the other counsellors told him that Peter wanted a word with him. Finn had no clue what it was he was supposed to have done now – he had been on his best behaviour for days! Granted, he was still pretty miserable to be so far from home, but he was trying to make the best of his situation. The way he handled the whole Danny problem had earned him the respect and trust of the Cliffhangers, who had begun to accept him as one of their own. He still kept to himself a lot, but that was just his personality. He didn't know what Peter could possibly want to talk to him about.

"Finn?" He stopped chewing his fingernails and got to his feet at the sound of Sophie's voice. She led him into her husband's office, where Peter was sitting at his desk.

"How you feeling, Finn?" Sophie asked, motioning for Finn to take a seat.

"Fine, thanks," Finn answered, still looking worried and suspicious.

"You're not in any trouble," Peter assured him. "We just wanted to let you know that your foster family and your brothers are coming up for a visit later today. They should be here about lunchtime."

"Seriously?" Finn sounded more shocked than excited. "Today? Why?"

"Well, you've been here two months now. We figure that's long enough for students' families to see if they're making much progress."

"Well, I don't know if that's…" Finn paused, his words getting tangled. His family were going to be here in a matter of hours – Joe, Grace, the boys, Sarah – and he had no idea what he was going to say to them. "Maybe they shouldn't come."

"Why not?" Sophie asked. "I'm sure they've missed you. You and your brothers have never been separated this long before, have you?"

"Never," Finn concurred sadly. _Neither have me and Sarah._ Sophie and her husband exchanged a concerned glance, and were about to press the subject when another counsellor, Roger, came in.

"Sorry to interrupt, folks, but there's a Mrs Fredericks on the phone. She'd like to speak to someone about enrolling her daughter here. I'd handle it, but I'm meant to be on a hike."

"I got it, Roger," Sophie said, smiling at her husband and Finn as she left the room. Finn could barely manage a nod in response. _She's coming here,_ he kept thinking. _Sarah's coming here. Today. What the hell am I going to say to her?_

"You worried about seeing them?" Peter asked Finn, who was staring into space.

"My brothers?"

"Them, your foster parents…Sarah?" Peter knew that Finn didn't like talking about her, but even though Finn probably wasn't guilty of the crime he had been sent to Horizon for, he had still suffered a great deal in his life, and his relationship with Sarah seemed to bring him more comfort than anything Peter could ever say. And the principal could tell by the boy's face that she was also the cause of most of his worry. "Are you scared of seeing her?"

"Not scared," Finn insisted, shifting awkwardly. "Just…the way we left things was a little…" He sighed in frustration, scratching his head, grateful that his hair was at least beginning to grow back. _The last thing I need is Sarah and the boys seeing me looking like a psychopath!_

"I mean," he tried again. "We promised that things wouldn't change, that we wouldn't let them change. We wouldn't let what people thought about me change how we felt about each other."

"And have things changed?"

"Not for me," Finn answered immediately, and Peter saw in his eyes that he meant it. "But she might…she might feel differently."

"You think she might not love you anymore?"

"Maybe she never did," Finn admitted. "Not in the same way."

"Do you honestly believe that, Finn?" Peter asked gently. "Do you think that everything you shared with Sarah was one-way? That it meant one thing to you, and something completely different to her?"

Finn hesitated, considering the question, thinking back on his last night at home. He had never believed he was good enough for Sarah, that he was worthy of her. And there was always some part of him that thought she knew that too, and was confusing their friendship for something else. But that night, with the way she spoke to him, the way she put her hands on him, she had convinced him for the first time in so many years that someone he loved so deeply loved him back the same way.

In his time at Horizon, however, he had felt that certainty slipping away, his deepest, darkest self-loathing coming back to him. He didn't want to lose faith in Sarah, nor did he want to lose the memory of those final hours they shared, but the more time they spent apart, the less sense her devotion made.

"I don't know what I believe, Peter," Finn admitted. "I know what I want to believe, and what I used to believe, but it just doesn't seem possible anymore."

"Let me ask you something, Finn," Peter said, trying a different approach. "Do you trust Sarah? Generally speaking."

"Of course. More than I trust anyone."

"But you're starting to doubt your relationship. You say that it's the most important thing to you…"

"It is!"

"…and yet you're so certain it's a farce! You trust Sarah, but you don't trust her to continue loving you like she promised. How does that work?" Peter watched Finn consider that, seeing a boy who had as much self-hatred and as little self-confidence as Danny Merrick, but also possessed the ability to hide that fact from the world. Finn had acted tough since the day he arrived, but now, all Peter could see was a young man terrified of losing someone he loved.

"Finn, you will never know everything that goes on in another person's mind. And when you fall in love, you hand over your heart to another person, and just have to trust them with it. If you don't trust Sarah, then everything else is irrelevant. Your relationship is already over."

_Your relationship is already over._ Peter's words echoed in Finn's mind. He didn't want that, he didn't want what he had with Sarah to end – ever. He wanted a life with her, a future, a family. He wanted to grow old with her by his side, surrounded by children and grandchildren. Nothing else really mattered. He knew that normal seventeen-year-old boys didn't dwell on such things, but Finn Maguire had never been normal. He had grown up quickly – too quickly, perhaps – and knew that life was too short to waste time on 'normal.' He knew what he wanted out of life…but what did Sarah want?

_I'm here...I'll always be here. I want my life to be with you._

Sarah's words, the night he came to her room and wept in her arms. The night they made love.

_I'll wait as long as it takes to get you back. I love you, Finn..._

She had looked him in the eye and said these things, touched him like nobody ever had before. Why was it now so hard to have faith, to believe that she was telling the truth?

"Maybe," Peter said, "Things will seem a little clearer later on. When you're face to face. You two never spent a day apart in six years. It's only natural that things get blurry when the only correspondence you have is in letters."

The letters. Finn received a letter from Sarah every three days, without fail. He would spend the day reading and re-reading it, then at night he would write his response, sending it off in the post the next morning. But these letters were not written in the passionate language of two separated lovers. Neither Sarah nor Finn ever let their emotions spill onto the page; it was too painful, and besides, their relationship needed to appear innocent in case Sarah's parents or Finn's brothers ever found the letters. Instead of declarations of undying devotion, they focused mainly on banal issues, like what was happening in their respective schools. Finn was careful not to write anything that would worry or upset Sarah – he hadn't mentioned the accident at the bridge, nor had he told her about the fight with the other Cliffhanger boys – and he was certain she was doing the same, lying about how she and the boys were coping with all that was being said about him.

However, there was one thing about Sarah's letters that gave him hope, that made him feel like she was right there beside him, if only for an instant. One thing that, if someone ever suspected them of being more than just friends, would expose them if the letters were found. One thing, so simple, that kept Finn sane in his dismal surroundings.

_I miss you. Love, Sarah._

She finished every single letter with these same five words. To a casual observer, they would appear innocent, a tender expression of friendship from a teenaged girl to her foster brother. But Finn looked forward to each new letter just so he could read those final words on the page. If he tried hard enough, he could drown out every noise around him, until all he could hear was Sarah whispering these words to him. They surrounded him, protected him, and made him feel warmer than he had since the night he left Sarah's bed two months earlier.

But this closing also made Finn's job of writing a response much harder, as it filled him with a great urge to break down and confess how he really felt about her. And sometimes, in his own way, he succumbed, occasionally scribbling his own secret sign-off, his own way of reaching out to Sarah the way she did to him.

_Gráim thú._

It was an Irish phrase he had murmured in her ear a few times since their first kiss, long before he had the courage to say it in words she could understand. It was something that he knew had always puzzled her, and not even Shay – who had a fair grasp on the language – had a clue what these two words meant.

"Is it your way of telling me you're gay?" she jokingly asked him once, as they shared a secret embrace in their backyard. But as she lay shivering beneath him in her bed that night, having just lost her virginity to him, having just taken his, he gazed at her – right into her soul – and said it again. And this time, she understood completely. She understood from the raw emotion in his eyes and voice, from the way he brushed the tears of joy from her face. She knew that he was using his native tongue to say words that, in English, are thrown about all too easily. Words so often uttered by people who didn't understand the real weight of them, people who didn't have anything close to what Finn and Sarah shared. Words that they had said to each other several times, but which never seemed enough.

_I love you._

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Okay, I know it was short and sappy, and for that I apologise. But the next chapter will be up soon. I'm almost finished it. Please R&R. 


	22. An Uneasy Reunion

Hey, hey, folks! I'm back! And with the chapter I know some of you have been waiting for – especially that big softie, Puckeen – as it's the first chapter in 'present time' (i.e. not a flashback) where we see Finn and Sarah together. But as you all know, a lot has happened…is the flame still burning? I own all members of the Maguire/Bryce families, as well as Danny and Beth, but nobody else.

Oh, and by the way, I am always grateful for reviews, and it was great to see some of the first readers of the John Doe Trilogy (flamingteen, twinmuse etc.) coming back to post and tell me what they think of the new stuff. I've been on for a while now, and just wanted to take this chance to say a big thanks to everyone who has reviewed any of my stories – it means a lot.

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Chapter 22: An Uneasy Reunion

"So, she's coming. She's coming here? Today?"

"Yeah, she's coming here," Finn muttered, catching the piece of wood that an astonished Danny had thrown to him, and placing it on his slab. He and Danny were on wood-chopping duties again this week, and Finn had just told Danny about his family's impending arrival. Because Danny knew the truth about Finn's affair with his foster sister, he understood how nervous his friend must be about this visit.

"So..." The Merrick boy couldn't think of a thing to say. Finn didn't seem to want to talk about it, concentrating all his attention on the task at hand. Danny understood, tossing him another log to chop. "I can take over if you want. Your arms must be killing you."

"I'm fine," Finn insisted through gritted teeth, slicing through the log.

"Oh…kay," Danny mumbled uncertainly, shuffling his feet. One day, Finn's opening up and telling him all this painful stuff about his past, the next day, nothing. _And they think I'm withdrawn! _"Your brothers are coming too?"

"I said they were, didn't I?" Danny could tell from Finn's tone that he was irritated. "What's with all the questions?"

"What's with the attitude?" Danny shrugged. "It's okay if you're worried."

"I'm not worried, Dan! Christ…" He tossed the axe to one side in frustration. "I've had this talk from Peter already. I don't need it from you."

"Um, Finn…"

"No, I mean it, Danny. Leave it alone."

"Finn?"

"What?" He waited for Danny's comment, but it never came. Instead, he realised, his friend was looking past him, nodding at something. Finn turned, and saw a small, sandy-haired boy standing a few feet away. Danny had never seen the child in his life, but knew who he was.

"Conn," Finn breathed, and a huge grin broke out on Connor's little face as he leapt into his big brother's arms. Danny watched Finn's tough, angry exterior melt as he hugged the boy against his chest.

"What did you do to your hair, Finn?" Conn asked, his voice muffled against Finn's shirt. His brother didn't answer, just squeezed him tighter. He looked over the top of Conn's head and saw Joe's car parked outside the main lodge. _The others must be inside, waiting for me._ He glanced back at Danny, who was smiling understandingly.

"You go," Danny said. "I can finish up here." Finn nodded his thanks, before placing a hand on Conn's shoulder and leading him back towards the lodge.

"Sorry I missed your birthday, mate," Finn said, tousling Conn's hair. He couldn't believe his baby brother had already turned nine…and that he wasn't there to see it. "Did you get the card?"

"Are you coming home with us, Finn?" Conn asked, his eyes wide and hopeful. _Jesus, he looks so much like Mam._

"Not just yet, pal," Finn said, trying to keep his tone light, not wanting his own sadness to channel to his brother. "It'll be another little while yet before I can come home." Conn didn't answer, bowing his head to hide his disappointment, and the two continued their walk in silence. They made their way to Peter's office, and when Finn nervously pushed the door open, he saw Peter and Sophie talking to Joe and Grace, and sitting in the corner were Shay and…Sarah. _She's here. She's really here._

"Finn!" The sound of his foster mother's voice snapped Finn out of his trance, and he was soon enveloped in her warm hug. "It's so good to see you, honey."

"Good to see you too, Grace," Finn said with a bashful smile. Seeing Sarah for the first time in so long had stunned him, but only for a moment. He was just as happy to see the rest of his family, and was determined to show them that.

"We've missed you, son," Joe told him, rubbing the young man's head, surprised that the shaggy black hair was all but gone. "Interesting look you got going here."

"Thanks, Joe," Finn said, attempting a good-natured smirk. He turned to Shay, who was now on his feet, fidgeting awkwardly, trying to be cool, debating whether to shake his older brother's hand or to give him a high five.

"Shay, c'mere," Finn said, reaching out to him. Shay smiled, and let Finn pull him into an embrace. There was no need to be cool. The brothers held on to each other for as long as they wanted, with Conn creeping under Finn's arm to share in the moment, before Finn's eyes finally roamed once again in Sarah's direction, allowing himself to really look at her. She was dressed casually, wearing jeans and a sweater, with her brown hair hanging loosely, a little longer than Finn remembered. But she was beautiful, even more beautiful than ever, and although he couldn't read her face, Finn recognised the look in her eyes, as if she was looking right into his soul.

"Hi," he barely managed to say, the enormity of this reunion nearly trapping the word in his throat.

"Hi," she replied simply, but the warm smile she gave him said enough. They couldn't talk here, surrounded by those closest to them, who had no idea they had ever been together. Finn was anxious that he wouldn't be able to get a minute alone with her, but Peter, as usual, was one step ahead of him.

"Mr Bryce, Mrs Bryce," Peter began. "Sophie and I were hoping we could go over Finn's progress report with you. Help you understand what's gone on with him in the last two months."

"Sounds good to me," Joe said, turning to his kids. "You guys can amuse yourselves for a half hour or so, can't you? I'm sure you've all got a lot of catching up to do." The four kids nodded and excused themselves, and as they left the lodge, Scott appeared with a basketball and introduced himself.

" Me and Danny were going to toss a few hoops, if you guys wanna join us," he told Conn and Shay. "Finn here tells us you're both pretty good." The younger Maguire boys looked to Finn, who nodded his approval.

"Go easy on them, lads," he told them in a mock stern voice. "I don't want my roommates whining for the next months about how badly they were beaten by a pair of kids. At least let them hold the ball a little."

"Funny," Scott muttered, leading the boys towards the basketball court. As they walked away, he leaned in towards Finn and whispered, "You owe me," before discretely nodding in Sarah's direction.

"Thanks, pal," Finn said with a half-grin, both pleased and worried to be on his own with Sarah. They glanced awkwardly at each other, before Finn motioned for her to follow him towards the gazebo by the lake. He knew it would be pretty much deserted down there this time of the day, and maybe he and Sarah would finally be able to hold an honest conversation. However, he wasn't too hopeful; neither of them said a word all the way to the gazebo, and even by the time they arrived, the tension was still there.

"This place is so beautiful," Sarah eventually commented, looking out over the lake, forcing herself not to stare at him. Finn didn't answer; he just watched her for a long moment, taking her in. The beauty of their surroundings was nothing compared to her. But when she turned back to face him, Finn was struck by the old, familiar shyness that Sarah had unwittingly inflicted on him in their early teens, and looked away.

"How is, um…" he began, his words nearly getting jumbled. He didn't want to stutter in front of her, not today. He didn't have time for that. "How's Anna?"

"She's okay, most days," Sarah said. "She misses you."

"Yeah, I miss her too," Finn sighed, realising for the first time just how much. He owed a great deal to Sarah's wise, poorly grandmother – if she hadn't encouraged him to tell Sarah how he felt about her, he probably would have missed his chance. Anna had once told them that they were meant to be together, that they were soul mates. That same night, they shared their first kiss. _Is it still true?_ Finn wondered to himself. _Or were we just meant to be together…for a while?_

"How's school?" he asked her, changing the subject.

"Fine," Sarah answered simply, but Finn wasn't buying that.

"Do you still hang out with Seb? Or Dean? Or…Amanda?" Finn hated mentioning her, and could tell he had made Sarah uncomfortable.

"Seb's been great," she replied. "Always staying optimistic, keeping a sense of humour. Dean is being very 'Dean' about the whole thing. Very supportive, in a touchy-feely kind of way."

"I guess he still likes you," Finn mumbled, thinking back on that night, a year or so ago, when Dean arrived at the house to pick Sarah up for a date. Dean was Finn's friend, but very sleazy when it came to girls. The thought of him touching the girl Finn loved made him sick, and almost prompted him to tell Sarah how he felt right there and then, if only to stop her walking out that door with Dean. Thankfully, Sarah had come home at a reasonable hour, admitting to her foster brother that – although Dean was lusted after by most of the girls in their class – he just wasn't her type. It had taken everything Finn had to hide his relief.

"I guess," Sarah said, not at all interested in talking about Dean. "But he's not my type. You know that."

"What about Amanda? You still friends with her?" Sarah didn't give a direct answer, but Finn already knew. She had sacrificed one of her oldest friends, made herself a social outcast…all because she believed in him. _She believed me over Amanda. What did I ever do to deserve this girl?_

"We still hang out with the same people," Sarah said with a shrug. "Just…not together." There was a pause. "Is this really what you want to talk about?"

"What else is there to talk about? I'm worried about you, about what's going on in that school…"

"And I'm worried about you!" Sarah threw back. "And what's going on here. But we've only got a few hours – most of which is going to be spent with my parents and your brothers – so right now, I think there are more important things to talk about. Like us."

"What good is talking?" Finn grumbled. "Everybody talks. The kids at school, everybody. Saying I'm a rapist, a thug, that I'm no better than Uncle Patrick…"

"Finn, stop it!" Sarah ordered. "Other people can say and think what they like. I don't care. All I care about is what's going on with you. Why won't you talk to me?"

"Because it's hard!" Finn snapped. "It's hard for me to look at you and tell you what I'm feeling. It always has been. You know that."

"Try," Sarah pleaded, moving towards him. "Please, just try." Finn let her hold his gaze for a few seconds, before he let himself drop onto the bench.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," Finn said, his voice hoarse. He buried his head in his hands, repeating, "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Sarah asked, sitting next to him. She thought she was ready for anything he could say, that she knew him well enough to anticipate his words. She was wrong.

"Everything. I…I just keep thinking that…I shouldn't have slept with you that night." When he saw the look on her face, the shock and hurt, he knew he had said the wrong thing.

"I didn't mean it like that," he pleaded as she stood and turned away from him. He cursed under his breath, wishing that there were some way to make her understand what he was trying to say to her. Wishing he could reach for her and hold her, but he could feel some invisible force pushing him back, keeping him at a distance.

"What the hell _do_ you mean, Finn?" Sarah almost shouted, startling him. "That it was a mistake? That we never should have been together in the first place? What?"

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say," Finn insisted, still reluctant to touch her, regardless of how badly he wanted to. "I just feel that everything that happened between us somehow made your life so much worse."

"Worse?" Sarah was incredulous. "You think being with you made my life worse? I loved you, Finn, and whatever you might think, those few weeks we had together were the best of my life." She paused, causing a long, agonising silence. "Why do you find it so hard to believe that?"

"Believe what?"

"That you're loved. That someone wants you and you don't have to be that scared, lonely little boy anymore."

"This isn't about my past, Sarah," Finn said defensively, avoiding her eyes. She came closer, watching him intently.

"You're right," she told him, sitting back down in front of him, her face only inches from his. "It's about you. Every part of you, even the parts I haven't seen." Before Finn could respond, she raised a hand to his face, lightly running her fingers across the scar beside his eye. It was the first physical contact since he had left her bed that night, and while Finn knew the most sensible thing he could do was to pull away, he just didn't have the strength to do it.

"I've seen what you're most ashamed of, Finn," she almost whispered. "What you hate about yourself, what you would change in a second, if you could. But just so you know, I wouldn't. I wish those things had never happened to you – your parents dying, the way your uncle hurt you – and I wish I could take all that pain away, but…Finn, you can't keep doing what you're doing."

"And what's that?" His voice was barely there, and his eyes were misty.

"This. Keeping yourself at a distance, just so you don't get hurt. You did it when we were kids, when you first came to live with us. You remember? For over a month, you barely said a word to anyone. Especially me."

"I did try," Finn protested quietly. "But I stuttered around you. You made me nervous."

The faintest of smiles touched the corners of his mouth as he thought back on his arrival at Sarah's house, and the moment he had first seen her. A few weeks shy of his twelfth birthday, he stepped out of the social worker's car – baby Connor in one arm, and Shay clinging worriedly to his free hand – to be greeted by Joe and Grace Bryce, the amazingly friendly, warm couple who, unlike Uncle Patrick, were so happy to welcome these lost young boys into their family.

But what really amazed Finn was their daughter. Almost twelve, like him, Sarah Bryce stood at the door with her parents as the boys arrived, and when Finn saw her, he almost forgot to breathe. That night, as he lay in his new bunk, he held a private, prayer-like conversation with his parents. He had done this many times since their deaths, begging them for the strength to beat Uncle Patrick, thanking them when it was granted, telling them the boys were okay and that he missed and loved them. But that first night in the Bryce home, he told his parents that he had just met the girl he wanted to marry.

"How did I make you nervous?" Sarah asked him, bringing him back to the present. Finn hesitated, looking at her intently, his expression apologetic.

"You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion.

"And there I was thinking you were just rude," Sarah said with a soft laugh, trying unsuccessfully to hide how moved she was by this simple confession.

"I wasn't trying to be. I wanted to spend every minute with you. But I figured, if I didn't get close to you, it wouldn't hurt so much when I had to leave you. But when your parents said they were keeping us, I let my guard down, let myself get close to you… fall in love with you." He scoffed, and dropped his head, bitterly adding, "I still had to leave, though, didn't I?"

"But it's still your home," she told him firmly. "Your family. You haven't lost that."

"Right now, Sarah, it feels like I've lost everything."

"You _haven't_! You haven't lost the boys, Mom and Dad…me." She laid a hand on his collar, the thin fabric of his t-shirt letting her feel the scar underneath. She let her hand rest there, reminding them both of the night they made love, the night that changed both their lives forever. That night, completely exposed to one another for the first time – both emotionally and physically – they had sworn that they would never stop loving each other. Sarah had kept her word, and would wait as long as it took for Finn to admit that he had too.

"Look at me, Finn," she whispered to him, pausing until he complied. "You never lost me. I'm still here, still yours." She took his hand and pressed it against the top of her breast, where he could clearly feel her heart beating. "This is still yours."

"Oh, Christ, Sarah…" Finn's throat tightened as he raised his hand to cup her cheek. "Why are you doing this? Everyone else has given up – they all think I'm a criminal, and that I tried to hurt Amanda. Why haven't you?"

"Because I couldn't love you this much if you were capable of that," she told him. "Because I believed you when you said you loved me. And because I need to believe that you still do. I…" All of a sudden, her voice – which had been so full of warmth, strength and honesty – disappeared. She let her gaze drop from his, pressing the tips of her fingers against her lips to keep them from quivering.

"Sarah?" Finn couldn't understand the sudden change in her behaviour. One second she was trying to get him to pull himself together, and the next she was fighting tears. "Sarah, what is it?" She stood, turning her back to him, but he wasn't having any of that now. She couldn't say all that about him being distant and then do the same thing. He knew her well enough to know that there was something else, something she was keeping from him. He got to his feet and caught her by the hand, gently pulling her back to him.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" he demanded. "Tell me."

"I need…" she tried again. "I need to believe we're going to be okay. I need to believe we're going to make it. Because I'm not the only one who needs you, Finn."

"What…what are you talking about?" _The boys? Her parents? Anna? Who the hell else could possibly need me?_ Nothing could have prepared him for the answer he got when she lifted her head to look into his eyes.

"Finn…Finn, I'm pregnant."

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Hee hee! I know it's a cruel way to end a chapter, but the next one will be up soon enough. In the meantime, a little R&R would be great! 


	23. A Pregnant Pause

So, I know the last chapter was a bit of a cliffhanger (hee hee, the puns!) so here's the follow-up. How's Finn going to react to Sarah's news? Read on and find out.

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Chapter 23: A Pregnant Pause

Finn fell back on the bench as his legs buckled beneath him. His head was spinning, and he felt a little bit ill. He knew that Sarah was waiting for a response, that she needed to hear his thoughts on this news, but the truth was that there were far too many thoughts running through his head for him to voice them.

"Finn?" He could hear her say his name, and knew he should snap out of it and do something, but he just couldn't. _She's pregnant,_ he thought dizzily. _She's pregnant. We only did it once, and she's pregnant!_

"Are you…" he choked. "Are you sure?"

"I took a test," Sarah told him, hiding the fact that that wasn't this reaction she had been hoping for. "And it was positive…so I did two more. So yeah, I'm pretty damn sure."

"Oh, my God…" Finn breathed, burying his face in his hands. Sarah watched him for a long moment, watching him deal with this as quickly as he could. She needed him to be with her on this, but she understood that he was still in shock, so for the moment, she would have to be the strong one.

"I've spent the last two weeks thinking about this," she told him gently. "I haven't been able to think about anything else. And I've thought about what I should do, considered every option, and I've decided…" At this, Finn looked up, gradually coming out of his trance.

"I'm going to keep this baby, Finn," she stated, cursing herself for the tears that were starting to fill her eyes. "This little boy or girl. I'm going to raise it, I'm going to love it, and I'm going to be the best mother I can possibly be. With or without you." She paused, growing even more emotional.

"But I really want you to be there," she whispered tearfully. "Because I'm so afraid of being without you. I'm not trying to trap you, Finn, and I know this is my fault as much as yours, but everything I said to you that night is still true. I don't want to lose you…"

In her ramblings, Sarah didn't notice Finn jumping to his feet. It wasn't until she felt his arms wrap around her that she managed to stop talking, weeping gently onto his shoulder as he stroked her hair.

"Ssh, it's okay," he whispered in her ear. He knew little of biology, or the workings of the female body, but he could have sworn he could notice it now, as he held her close against him for the first time in far too long. Her body felt just a little bit different to him. And why wouldn't it? For the last two months, a baby had been growing inside her. _Their_ baby. There was no room for uncertainty now, no time to question their feelings for each other. Finn knew what he wanted, and what he had to do. "Everything's going to be okay."

"How, Finn?" she asked, drawing back to look at him. "How is it going to be okay? What are we going to do?"

"We're going to stick to our original plan," Finn told her, cupping her face. "We're going to be together, and we're going to love each other, and we're going to be happy...the three of us. Because that's the plan, right?"

"I don't remember having a baby at eighteen being part of the plan," Sarah half-laughed, half-sobbed, the sincerity of Finn's words gradually bringing her comfort.

"Maybe not," Finn admitted. "But I love you, Sarah, and nothing is ever going to change that. I'm sorry I ever made you doubt it. I know you're frightened, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't too, but...I mean, it's you and me, isn't it? There's nothing we can't do if we're together – even raise a child."

"Finn," she whispered. "Please don't say this if you don't mean it, if this isn't what you really want. I couldn't stand it if…"

"Sarah, of course it's what I want." He took her hands in his, placing them gently against her belly. "You and the baby are what I want. I'll be here, I promise you. I'm going to take care of you both for the rest of my life."

"We'll take care of each other," Sarah corrected him, finally beginning to feel at ease. She had been worried that Finn would abandon her, wanting nothing more to do with her or the baby. The thought of not being with him terrified her, now more so than ever before. But what had scared her even more was the possibility that Finn would stay and put up with her out of obligation, some sense of duty, but nothing more.

_But he's here,_ she thought to herself in joyful relief, running a hand over his head, the short hair tickling her palm. _He's here, and he still loves me._

"I…" she began, gazing at him lovingly. "…hate your hair." They both laughed softly, remembering how Sarah used to good-naturedly tease Finn for his shaggy black hair, forever telling him to cut it, or at the very least, comb it. When she first saw him on the roof with his friend, she was surprised by how much older the short hair made him look, how much clearer his sorrow and world-weariness were in his green eyes without the locks of black hair falling in front of them. When she saw those eyes, so broken and sad, she was terrified that the months apart had changed him. But as those eyes looked into hers now, she knew that he was still Finn. Her Finn. The boy she had grown up with, and the man she loved.

"I'll grow it back," Finn said with a smile, before leaning in and gently kissing her for the first time in two months. The kiss grew, chasing away their insecurities, mocking them for ever doubting each other. This kiss was the only proof either of them needed that they were as strong as ever, and that nothing would ever come between them again.

But, although their relationship had strengthened, there were new challenges facing them – parenthood, for one. Finn always knew he wanted to start a family with Sarah at some point, but this was a lot sooner than he had expected.

"Have you told your parents?" he asked, pulling back to face her.

"No, I wanted to tell you first. But I can't hide it from them for much longer."

"So, let's tell them. Today." Seeing Sarah's uncertain expression, he continued, "Look, it's hardly a conversation I'm looking forward to having, especially after everything they've done for me, but what choice do we have? You're leaving again this evening…"

"Don't remind me," Sarah murmured, leaning against him. The thought of them being separated again was unbearable. Sarah knew there was no chance that the school would allow Finn to come back for the end of the school year, so he was stuck at Horizon for at least another few weeks. And unless he was proven innocent, his eventual return would be a very uncertain affair. This school – so far from their home – was the only safe place for them to be together.

"So we have to. We have to go back there, and tell them the truth. That we love each other, that we have done for a long time, and that we're having a baby."

"That simple, huh? They're going to be furious. In case you've forgotten, you were worried about how they'd react to us dating."

"We just need to stand our ground, Sarah. We need to make them understand that we need to stay together, that it's not just about the two of us anymore. In a few months' time, there's going to be a little kid depending on you and me to take care of him…or her. No matter what, we have to stay united."

"When the hell did you turn into a grown-up, Maguire?" Sarah asked, amused and reassured by Finn's attitude towards their news. She was hardly surprised – for as long as she'd known him, Finn had been a mature and caring person, fiercely protective of those he loved. She was ashamed for having doubted his ability as a father.

"About five minutes ago, when you told me I knocked you up!" Finn retorted with a smirk, then cupped her face, gazing at her adoringly. "We can do this, you know."

"I know," she said softly, believing it whole-heartedly. He reached down to take her hand, and she let him lead her back to the main lodge. When they arrived, they were met by Peter, Sophie, Joe and Grace.

"Mom, Dad…" Sarah began, her hand tightening in Finn's. When they had the adults' attention, Finn took the lead.

"Sarah and I have something we need to discuss with you. Peter, can we use your office?"

* * *

More soon. And by the way, FrostySnake, that idea of yours about Finn having multiple personalities…I like it. I like it a lot! But we will find out soon why Amanda accused him of attacking her, and sadly, it's nowhere near that clever! 


	24. The Best Of What We Got

Happy Christmas folks. Enjoy.

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Chapter 23: Best Of What We've Got

"Hey!" Scott Barringer called to his girlfriend, who, along with Beth, was walking towards himself, Danny and the two little Maguire boys as they made their way from the basketball court back to the main lodge. Scott dropped the ball and pulled Shelby into his arms for a passionate kiss, which she gladly returned.

"Guys," Danny mumbled to the blissfully oblivious couple, nodding towards Finn Maguire's younger brothers, neither of whom could have been older than twelve. "Not in front of the children." However, he couldn't resist giving his own girl a quick kiss when Seamus and Connor weren't looking.

"So," Shelby said, when Scott finally let go of her. "These must be Finn's brothers." She nodded to the eldest. "You look just like him."

"Thank you," Shay Maguire said simply, bowing his head to hide the fact that he was blushing. Scott figured the kid was probably a little bit sweet on Shelby – _Lord knows, she's friggin' gorgeous!_ – and had to stifle a chuckle. It had been a long time since he had been in the company of young kids, kids who were still innocent, mostly untainted by the cruelties of the world. For some weird reason, he kind of liked hanging out with them. _Maybe me and Shel will have kids some day…whoa, where the hell did that come from?_

A gentle tug on his sleeve interrupted his admittedly weird thoughts, and he looked down into the young face of Conn Maguire.

"Are we going to see Finn now?" he asked in a small, hopeful voice, and Scott couldn't help but be moved by the obvious adoration that this boy had for his big brother. _Surely Finn can't be all that bad, if these kids worship him so much. I mean, he's probably the closest thing to a dad that they have._

"Going to get him right now, pal," Scott assured him. "Gotta let him know just how badly you guys kicked mine and Danny's butts! He'll be bragging about you for weeks." The four boys and two girls were just outside the door to Peter's office when they heard muffled, but loud shouts coming from inside."

"This is the thanks we get? We raise you kids, we love you, give you everything we can, and this is how you repay us? You don't even realise how much trouble you've gotten yourselves into! You don't have a goddamn clue!"

"That's Joe," Shay Maguire said, surprised at the fury in his kind, patient foster father's voice.

"Why's he so angry?" Conn asked, glancing from his brother to the older kids. "He never gets angry." Danny was about to offer some words of reassurance, when he heard Finn's voice from inside.

"Please, Joe, we never meant for this to happen, but it did. Try to understand…"

"Understand? We welcome you into our home, treat you like one of our own for six years, and you impregnate my only daughter before she even turns eighteen!"

"Holy shit!" Scott breathed, forgetting to censor his language in front of the kids, but they were even more shocked than he was. They were smart boys – they knew what 'impregnate' meant. Finn and Sarah were having a baby. Shay threw the door open and stepped into the room, and saw a man he recognised gripping Finn by the collar of his t-shirt. But the angry, red-faced man he saw didn't look like his foster father – he looked more like Uncle Patrick. And he looked like he was about to punch Finn.

"Don't you dare hit my brother!" he shouted, his prepubescent voice reaching breaking point. "Why are you yelling at him? Leave him alone!" The sudden fright at hearing his brothers and foster dad screaming at each other was too much for little Connor, who abruptly burst into tears and ran to Sarah, who was sitting on the couch with her mother. He jumped on the couch between them and buried his head in Sarah's lap, squeezing his palms tight against his ears to block out the shouting.

"Ssh, it's okay, sweetie," Sarah soothed, stroking his hair while glaring at her father. Joe Bryce immediately let go of Finn's collar, filled with horror and shame at what he had just done to his kids. He had almost raised a hand to Finn – the one thing he swore to himself he'd never do to these poor boys, who had been through so much already. Especially Finn – quiet, mannerly Finn, who had endured much more sadness and suffering than any seventeen-year-old should have to, yet still possessed an unusually kind heart and gentle nature.

Finn stepped away from his foster father and knelt by the couch, protectively cupping Conn's face and whispering something to him that the other Cliffhangers couldn't hear. The room was now completely silent, except for Conn's quiet sobs. Joe turned to the middle Maguire boy, who was still staring at him defiantly, and nearly choked up.

"Shay, I…you know I would never hurt Finn." He glanced at his eldest 'son,' as if trying to tell him the same thing, trying to apologise for nearly doing so. "I'd never hurt any of you. You kids mean everything to me. You know that, don't you?" Shay's expression softened, and he looked to Finn, who nodded. Joe reached out for the boy, and Shay relented, allowing himself to be drawn into a warm hug. Sarah and Finn exchanged a relieved, but still worried look – that was too close. Peter, who was also thankful that the young couple's stunning confession hadn't resulted in violence, decided it was time he took charge.

"Mr. Bryce, Mrs. Bryce," he began. "Obviously this has come as a great shock to you both, and to your family. And you will need time to adjust, and figure out what you're going to do about it. Scott, Danny, I'm going to assume that Connor and Shay beat you. Why not make it two out of three?"

"Fine by me," Scott said, understanding that he and the others should never have seen this, but keeping his tone light for the sake of the kids. "I was just warming up anyways." He gently put one hand on Shelby's arm, the other on Connor's, leading them out of the room. "Might team up with Shelby or Beth this time. Danny couldn't catch a cold."

"Scored more than you, Barringer," was Danny's retort, as he motioned for Shay to follow them, which he eventually did.

"Finn," Peter said. "Can you give us a minute, please?"

"What? Why?" Finn wasn't prepared to go anywhere without Sarah, and his voice – almost a shout – made that all too clear. Worried that Finn was going to lose his temper and start another yelling match, Peter took him by the arm and spoke in a fast, low tone that only the student could hear.

"I'm trying to help you here, Finn, but you haven't made it easy. I understand that you and Sarah are in this together, that her parents love you both equally, but right now, all they know is that you got their little girl pregnant. Until they've had a couple of minutes to hear her side of things, you do not want to be in this room."

"Finn, go," Sarah said softly, standing to touch his hand. "I'll be okay." With a long, loving gaze at Sarah, Finn reluctantly followed the others out, and after encouraging the younger Maguire boys to head down to the court and warm up, Danny turned to his friend anxiously.

"Look, man, it'll be okay."

"Okay? Danny, Sarah's carrying my baby, and my foster father wants to kill me for it. Combine this with the fact that everyone in our home town thinks I'm a rapist, that I haven't got a single friend to speak of, and explain to me how the hell this is going to be okay!"

"You're wrong about that last part," Finn was surprised to hear Shelby's voice. "You do have friends. Here, at least. Friends who believe you're innocent." This was the last thing Finn ever expected to hear from her. He and Shelby had forged a truce over the whole Danny situation, but he knew – because of Amanda's accusations, and because of Shelby's past – that he wasn't exactly her favourite person in the world.

"Shelby…" Finn began. "Since when do you believe I'm innocent?" Shelby shrugged, giving him that half-smile Scott and Danny knew so well, that look she got when she was talking about something very serious in as laid-back a tone as she could, trying not to sound vulnerable. Both her brother and her boyfriend had been spoken to several times in that tone. Even Beth had had a taste of it, when Shelby tried to convince her to stay with Danny.

"I know we got off to a bad start, but I've believed it ever since you risked your life to save Danny's. And when I saw how your girlfriend looked at you out there, and how you looked at her…" She paused, glancing at Scott as she said, "Well, let's just say I know real love when I see it. And I've also seen my fair share of cruel, sick people who use sex as a weapon. Finn…you don't fit the bill."

"I'll second that," Scott said, draping an arm across Shelby's shoulders.

"Me too," Beth said.

"We all do, man." That was Danny. "Like it or not, you're one of us, and we'll do whatever we can to help you. And Sarah."

Finn couldn't deny that he was moved. Back home, the only friend he had left – besides Sarah, of course – was Seb, and even didn't seem completely sure that Amanda was lying. What the Cliffhangers were offering was more than he could have ever asked for. Before he could say a word, Sophie appeared at the door, telling him they were ready for him.

_Jesus, that was quick,_ Finn thought to himself, unsure whether or not he should be worried. He followed his teacher into the office, but not without a nod of thanks to the others.

Inside, he stood uncertainly at the door, Peter and Sophie separating him from his family. He glanced over at Sarah, making sure she was okay, and was relieved to see that she hadn't been crying. _I guess they really did listen to her,_ he thought. _Maybe they'll listen to me now._

"Okay, Finn," Peter said, apparently playing the mediator. "Sarah's told her parents her side of the story. She says that she loves you, that she wants to be with you, and that even though having a baby now wasn't anything either of you expected, she's more than willing to raise this child with you. If that's what you want." He turned to Sarah and asked, "Did I miss anything?"

"No," Sarah said, her eyes never leaving Finn's. Her boyfriend relaxed slightly, knowing that whatever happened, she was with him. He moved tentatively across the room to sit down next to her, taking her hands in his, looking anxiously at his foster parents.

"Joe, Grace," he began, swallowing hard. "I'm really sorry about all this. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. You've both been so good to me and the boys. When my parents died, I thought I was going to have to look after them all by myself. Uncle Patrick did nothing – laundry, cooking, bringing us to school…he didn't love us. And for a while there, I thought nobody ever would again." Finn felt Sarah's grip on his hand tighten slightly.

"When you took us in," he continued. "I couldn't believe that we'd ended up with such a kind family. People who genuinely cared about us, wanted what was best for us. You gave us a better home than we could ever have hoped for, and I love you for that…and I love Sarah too. She's my best friend. She always has been. And I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'd want that even if there wasn't a baby." He paused, looking around the room, before settling back on his foster parents.

"You know me. You know that Sarah's the most important thing in my life. I'm never going to do anything to hurt her, or our child, I promise you. They're safe with me." There was a long silence while Joe and Grace considered everything their foster son had told them. Finn glanced nervously at Peter and Sophie, trying to gauge their opinion on what he had said, and was pleased to see Peter nod in encouragement. Finally, Joe let out a deep sigh, rubbing his forehead, and looked up at his kids.

"Guys," he began hoarsely. "I understand that I didn't exactly take the news well, and that I should have given you more credit for how mature you both are. For that, I apologise. But…to drop a bombshell like this on us…I mean, we didn't even know you two were dating!"

"We're sorry, Dad," Sarah said. "We understand how you feel."

"No, you don't," Joe insisted. "You're not parents…yet. You don't know what it's like, wanting your kids to have the best lives possible, hoping to God that you've given them everything they need to achieve that, only to see them put it all at risk by being careless."

"Was it the first time?" Grace asked her kids, causing her husband to bury his face in his hands.

"Jesus," he muttered. "I don't want to know."

"Yes, Mom," Sarah said, hoping this line of questioning wouldn't continue much longer. Pregnant or not, she was still a teenaged girl, and she wasn't exactly comfortable discussing her sex life with her parents. "It was the first time. The only time, for either of us."

"Well, that's something, isn't it?" Grace said, a little too brightly, comforted, in spite of everything, by the fact that Finn and Sarah hadn't been sneaking in and out of each other's beds for ages without her noticing. Joe, however, was less optimistic.

"Do you realize what you've done?" Joe demanded. "Do you know how hard it is to bring up a child, at any age? You're seventeen, for Christ's sake!"

"We know that, Joe," Finn said calmly, speaking to his foster father like a man. Under any other circumstances, Joe Bryce would have been proud as hell of the boy he loved like a son. Right now, though, he just wanted to personally castrate him.

"There's nothing you can tell us that we haven't already thought through," Finn continued. "We've no financial security, no jobs, not even a home."

"Finn, our home is your home," Grace insisted. "That isn't what Joe means."

"I know," Finn said warmly. "But we've thought everything through. My parents left a trust fund for the boys and me. With the interest, it should add up to something."

"With all due respect, Finn," Joe sighed. "Your parents were not rich people, and even with interest, one third of a trust fund won't be enough to raise a baby."

"It doesn't have to be," Finn said, trying to keep patient. As much as he respected his foster parents, he was frustrated that they had so little faith in his ability as a father. "Look, I'm not going to go to college. I never was. I'm going to finish my carpentry apprenticeship and maybe Mr. Ebert will take me on full time. Then in a couple of years, I can start my own business, nothing big, but enough to get by."

"And I'll have finished school before the baby comes," Sarah continued. "Then I'll either defer college for a year or two, or maybe do a night course. Either way, I'll be at home during the day to look after the baby…"

"While I'm at work," Finn completed her sentence. "It's not going to be easy, and it's certainly not what we planned, but we'll get by. Actually..." He paused awkwardly, looking at everyone in the room.

"Can I talk to Joe in private for a minute, please?" he asked. Everyone began to leave, Sarah quickly kissing Finn's cheek before she left. When it was just himself and Joe left in the room, Finn turned to his foster father.

"What do you think?" he asked. Joe sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose, not looking at Finn.

"Your timing, Finn…could have been better. And I'm not just talking about your age. With everything that happened at home…"

"Joe, I love Sarah!" Finn almost shouted, refusing to be patient any longer. "I've never wanted anyone else – least of all Amanda – and I never will. She's the love of my life. I could live to be a hundred and I'd still feel that way. How much more proof do you want?"

"None." Joe's face and tone remained neutral. "You didn't let me finish. Of all the people I expected to have this conversation with, of all the people I thought Sarah would fall in love with…I never dared to hope it would be you. Never imagined the man I'd be entrusting her to, the man I'd have to welcome into our family, would the same man I loved like a son." He finally looked up, and Finn was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

"No father is ever ready to give up his little girl, Finn. If you have a daughter, you'll find that out yourself. But if I had to pick one person in this whole world for Sarah, there is only one choice. She loves you, more than I ever suspected she did. She is without a doubt the most precious thing in my life, and I'm entrusting her to you. I know you won't let me down."

Finn's throat was so tight he could hardly breathe, let alone speak, but after several seconds of hard swallowing, managed to croak, "In that case…I need to ask you a favour."

* * *

There'll be more soon, folks. Promise. I know I say it all the time, but I really do promise! 


	25. What The Future Holds

Hey folks. New chapter here. Hope you enjoy.

I own nothing. Nothing!

* * *

Chapter 24:What The Future Holds

"What's taking them so long?" Sarah repeated, pacing anxiously outside the door of Peter's office. Her mother, Peter and Sophie were with her, waiting for Finn and Joe to finish their conversation. "What's Dad saying to him?"

"Sweetie, calm down," Grace urged her daughter gently. "They're just talking."

"I shouldn't have left him," Sarah said, shaking her head. "I should have stayed with him. What if Dad's…" She stopped short when the office door finally opened and her father and boyfriend walked out.

"We've had a talk," Joe said, his expression serious, but not angry or disappointed. "And I think that, if we all do our part, as a family, Finn and Sarah can give this baby a good life. It's not going to be easy, but you two can make it work. And we'll help you."

"Thanks, Dad," Sarah whispered, giving her father a grateful hug.

"Now, your mother and I are going to bring the boys to dinner," Joe told his kids. "And we should probably book another night or two in the motel in town. Sarah, you stay here with Finn. I'm sure you guys have some things to discuss." Finn nodded, smiling at his foster father, before taking Sarah's hand and leading her out of the lodge. She was anxious that he hadn't said a word since leaving Peter's office.

"Are you okay?" she finally asked. "You guys were in there for so long I started to worry that he'd killed you." Her tone implied that she was only half-joking.

"Nah, we just had a few things to sort out. Everything's fine."

"Why did you want to talk to him in private? What did you say?"

"Sarah, relax. There's no problem. There were a couple of things we needed to say to each other – kind of not-quite-father-and-son stuff. And besides, you shouldn't be worrying so much in your condition."

"Worried? Finn, I have been in a constant state of terror since I found out about my condition. I can't just switch that off."

"Well, I'm here now," Finn said, his voice so uncharacteristically pompous and condescending that Sarah knew he was kidding. "And I'm telling you that everything is okay. You have nothing to worry about. I've got it all figured out."

"Wow." Sarah stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide with mock admiration. "Coming from you, that's surprisingly…"

"Mature? Responsible? Sexy?"

"I was going to go for smug, cocky, arrogant – none of which, I gotta say, are attractive qualities."

"Well then, thank God you fell for my many more attractive qualities, like my devilish good looks and fine physique."

"If I'm going to be honest, Finn, it was the accent."

"And if I'm going to be honest, Sarah, I think I'm starting to go off you."

"So, tell me, Maguire" Sarah said, punching him lightly on the shoulder before walking on. "Seeing as how you have all the answers, how the hell are we going to do this?"

"Well, it's quite simple, really," Finn replied, following her. "Assuming we're back under the same roof within the next few weeks, you will spend the time before the baby comes in a terrifying hormonal state, bitching at me, ordering me about."

"Oh, and you're so innocent? You'll probably be ignoring my emotional needs and contributing nothing to the pregnancy."

"I think your dad will agree that I have already contributed plenty to this pregnancy, thank you."

So, after a few months of this," Sarah continued. "The baby comes…"

"Only after a long and painful labour," Finn interrupted with a mock sympathetic glance. "During which, you'll curse my name and swear never to let me touch you again."

"Well, you bastard, it's your fault I'm in this mess in the first place."

"Thank you. I feel better. So, cut to post-labour, it's you, me and Junior…"

"Finn, we're not calling our kid Junior."

"…living the domestic dream. I'm working all the hours under the sun to make ends meet."

"While I'm juggling being a mom with being a student." They paused in their banter, and Finn turned to the mother of his unborn child.

"We'll hardly see each other," he sighed grimly.

"And even when we do, we'll both be exhausted," she agreed with a solemn nod.

"You'll always smell like spit-up."

"You'll become a workaholic."

"We'll fight."

"Constantly."

"There'll be very little sex."

"None." On Finn's horrified expression, she added, "I did swear never to let you touch me again."

"So," Finn declared, drawing to a conclusion as they neared the wood shed. "By the time Junior's walking…"

"What did I just say about Junior?"

"I'm the man, and I say we're going with Junior. By the time Junior's walking, you'll have convinced your parents to throw me out, I'll be sleeping on Seb's couch, and the story closes with your new boyfriend – who, I must add, is rich, handsome, charismatic and, um…Italian – watching smugly as you callously fling the divorce papers at me and disappear from my life in his Ferrari."

"Who, whoa, whoa!" Sarah had found a fault in his plan. "You do know we can't get a divorce without first having a marriage, right?"

"We can't?" Finn looked disappointed. "But…my story doesn't work as well without the divorce."

"And the divorce doesn't happen without a marriage. I didn't make the rules, Maguire." She watched in amusement as Finn considered this, before he waved a hand dismissively.

"Ah, to hell with it!" he declared nonchalantly. "We'll throw it in there somewhere."

"What, just stick a wedding in the middle somewhere, for the sake of the divorce finale?" She winced. "Pretty shoddy storytelling, Finn. I'm disappointed in you."

"Enough of your negativity, woman! It'll work fine. I mean, it's probably for the best anyway. I'm an Irish Roman Catholic, after all. I can't exactly keep you in sin forever, can I?"

"God forbid."

"He does. And just imagine all those extra issues little Junior would have in adulthood, all because Mommy and Daddy never forked out for a marriage cert."

"I would blame the fact that Daddy insisted on naming him Junior for any issues our child has in adulthood."

"Whatever. The point is, marriage is a good idea." Finn shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand over his head. "Sure, I should probably just propose to you now and get it over with."

"What, now?" She was so wrapped up in Finn's tale that she almost gasped with surprise when he abruptly stepped over in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Right here, right now." She searched his face and voice for any trace of the mischievous wit he had employed only seconds earlier, and felt her heartbeat quicken when she could find none._Wait a minute,_ she thought wildly, barely daring to hope. _How did we get from kidding around about our future to…_

"Finn Maguire," she began carefully, her efforts to contain her nervous excitement making her a little breathless. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Well, I've already asked your dad for permission, so it'd look very bad if I backed out now. Sarah…" He was interrupted by a delighted squeal, and he and Sarah looked around the corner of the wood shed to see the Cliffhanger kids gathered together at a picnic table a few feet from them, close enough to hear at least the end of their conversation. Juliette had both hands clapped tightly over her mouth – Finn didn't need to guess who had let out the little shriek – and the other kids wore the same looks of shock and anticipation.

"Go for it, dawg!" Auggie shouted over in support, two thumbs up.

"Good luck, Finn," Scott called, as the others started whooping and clapping.

"Kiss your freedom goodbye, dude!" David added, ever the romantic. Finn smiled through gritted teeth, bowing his head in embarrassment.

"L-l-last thing I w-w-wanted w-was an audience," he grumbled, but forced himself to get over it when he saw Sarah's stunned expression. _Screw it_, he thought to himself, taking a deep breath. _You've dreamed of doing this since you were twelve. Just ask her!_

"Everyone shut up, please!" Finn shouted, his stammer now gone. "This is the most important thing I've ever done, so by God, I'm gonna do it right!" Everyone hushed instantly, though nothing could remove the excited grins on the Cliffhangers' faces. Finn took Sarah's hands in his and looked directly into her eyes.

"Sarah," he began, speaking nothing but the absolute truth. "I know we joke a lot – we always have – but believe me when I tell you that I have loved you since the first time I saw you. I was so lost back then, so frightened, but you made me smile again. You saved my life. You're my best friend, my partner in crime, and the only girl I can ever see myself spending my life with. Anna was right. We were meant to be."

Sarah said nothing, but Finn could see tears in her eyes, despite the fact that she was smiling. He took a deep breath and slowly went down on one knee. The watching girls couldn't contain a few squeals, and the boys let out some wolf whistles, but nothing could break Finn's concentration now. Nevertheless, they went completely silent again, so as not to miss a word.

"I...I haven't got much money," Finn admitted shamefully. "I haven't got much of anything, to be honest. No job, no house, and a reputation as a sex offender. I don't even have a ring for you."

"I don't care..." Sarah began, but stopped mid-sentence when Finn bowed his head and squeezed her hands gently. He was starting to get emotional, and he had to tell her everything.

"But I love you," he continued. "More than anything. And I want to spend the next eighty or so years trying to make you as happy as you make me. That's the only thing I have to offer you."

If Finn had taken his eyes off Sarah for just a moment to look over at the Cliffhangers, he would have seen a range of feelings on each of their faces. Enormous respect for Finn and emotion at the sincerity of his words filled each one of them, even David.

"Sarah," Finn said softly, beginning to choke up. "I want to be your husband. I want you to be my wife, and I want us to be a family. The three of us." He brushed one hand across her stomach lovingly, letting it linger there for a moment. It was so daunting, but wonderful, to think that his child – _their_ child – was already growing there. When he looked up at her again, she had started to cry. He held her hands just a bit tighter, and in a clear, confident voice, asked the question that had been stuck in his throat since childhood.

"Will you marry me?" Everyone watching – along with Finn – held their breath, waiting for Sarah's answer. She smiled through her tears.

"Get up, you idiot," she mock-scolded, pulling him to his feet. "Of course I'll marry you." They kissed and hugged as boisterous applause broke out among the Cliffhangers.

"You're stuck with me now," Finn told her as they embraced. "You know that? For the rest of our lives."

"I can live with that," Sarah whispered. "I love you, you know?So much."

"Yeah," Finn said, pulling back to face her, cupping her face. "I know." And, finally, he truly did.

* * *

So what do you think, folks? I wasn't really sure about going down the whole baby-and-marriage road, but I thought it was an appropriate little payoff for Finn and Sarah, given their history. However, whether they actually get married or not remains to be seen…they're not out of trouble yet! There's still the whole Amanda thing to deal with, which I'll be getting to shortly. 


End file.
